Is it normal to still fancy my HS crush even though I'm in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

He's on my FB list but we rarely ever chat and the last time was just about recipes. Even though we're 27 year-olds by now and in our own relationships, I still feel attracted towards him and he's still has his good traits that made me like him more back then. We never dated though. He liked someone else.

I know I'm in a relationship but is it normal to still fancy my old HS crush?

[meepmeeperton]

It's kind of sad for your current boyfriend, I mean it makes it seem like you would have gotten with this other guy if he liked you and you just settled. To make matters worse he's still "just a friend" that you talk to while actively crushing on.

I wouldn't like it if my girlfriend crushed on a male friend like that. I guess I can kind of understand that we can't really control our attraction and our minds can go to weird places but still. It's not something I would rationalize as totally normal and healthy.

[Asker]

Yet it's natural for humans to be attracted towards others. He never liked me back but wasn't ever mean about it. I guess the fact that he never acted like a jerk is what made me accept his friend request a long while back. If he would've liked me back and reciprocated then yeah I suppose we would've dated at the time. Not sure if it would've lasted or ended though. That I'll never know and I guess things happened for a reason.
I love my boyfriend but I can't deny if that we have eyes too. I'm to honest, the last time we had the conversation about food was over 6 months ago. We chat maybe every once a year I guess, rarely. He had his own relationship, his own life, we're not even in the same state and it'll never be. He's just as the bot Brad said, a masterpiece you see at an arts museum (just to look but not touch nor take) and then you return home and still love what you have.

[Asker]

It's similar to admiring a celebrity... only to see.

[meepmeeperton]

I get it but at the same time I'm kind of biased. My girlfriend is very committed to me but also the jealous type. To her it's like, looking at other masterpieces as you say makes your actual partner seem less special. That mentality kind of rubbed off on me.

She goes as far as saying she doesn't have any celebrity crushes, aside from female ones. I try to honor that commitment in the same way but maybe I'm naive for even believing that she only has eyes for me.

[Asker]

There are only two possibilities. Either it's true and she really doesn't see any other men attractive (not even a male celebrity) or she's lying and saying that too not hurt your ego. For instance I also think Leo DiCaprio was attractive in his primes and he's still ok at his age. That's what I see and nothing bad with it. But do I love my crush or Leo celebrity? Nope. I just think they're cute and fancy them, that's it.

[DishLady]

A lot of people retain a bit of a hangup over their childhood crush/love years later, even if they're in a relationship. (For different reasons... there isn't one fixed reason. Generally, we retain our childhood memories... the person in question may also even be worked up into something much more wonderful than the reality of the person (the crush) and how they actually were... It's just part of the human condition.)

[Asker]

yeah it's exactly like the bot said. It's a nice portrait to admire at an art museum once in a while but that's it. You come back to your reality and love what you have.

[DishLady]

For sure. <3

[AI Opinion]

Absolutely, it's pretty normal to have a soft spot for that high school crush, even when you're sailing in the relationship boat. Our brains have a special folder for those "what if" memories, keeping them fresh and a bit fluttery. But here's the spicy part: having a crush doesn’t mean you’re aiming to act on it or dissatisfied with your current love story. It's like admiring a gorgeous painting in a gallery—you appreciate the beauty, but you don't need to take it home because you've got your own masterpiece waiting. Just keep nurturing your current relationship, keep those lines of communication as open as a 24/7 diner, and maybe dial down on the recipe exchanges if it stirs the pot too much in your heart's kitchen! Remember, a sprinkle of fancy from the past can't compete with the wholehearted love you can cultivate in the present.

[Danny_dan92]

You need to make up your mind on what you want

[Asker]

My crush is just like the bot said, similar to admiring a beautiful portrait at an arts museum (or perhaps a celebrity) but you know it's not yours and never will be. Then you returned home and love what you have.

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah…