Is it normal to have a crush on someone while in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I feel like the answer to this should be a solid no. But I've been so confused lately. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years (we're both 19) & of course I love him a lot but things have gotten pretty rocky over the last few months. I actually broke up with him about a month ago (long story short he had lied to me but it all falls back on his weed addiction) anyway we got back together a few days later. Well there's a guy I work with that I've always thought was attractive but never really thought much more of it. Well I noticed that ever since I broke up with my boyfriend I sort of developed a crush on the guy at work! Like I get nervous around him & stuff & I feel awful because I'm in a relationship & trying really hard to save my relationship. Maybe it's a rebound thing because it sort of started when I had just came out of a breakup? I don't know I feel so awful :(

[hellionthesagereborn]

Its because you have checked out of your current relationship. Your mentally already trying to leave it because that's easier then staying and fixing it. Of course this will not solve your problems short term or long term. Its important to put aside feelings and think logically about this, communicate with your boyfriend openly and honestly with no accusations no judgments but rather just a desire to resolve the conflict no who is wrong and who is right just good old truth seeking. After that then you can decide whether or not you wish to continue the relationship, though to be honest persuing the guy you work with if you do decide to end your relationship is a bad idea, as I said he is essentially an exit sign and you will eventually end that relationship as well. You have to really work and try to figure out how to resolve your issues within your current relationship otherwise the next relationship your in will just end the same way.

[SITdown]

It is common to be attracted to others no matter what your status is. However if in a committed serious relationship where you are truly (in love) and that person is on your mind all the time love will not allow your mind to wander to entertain the thoughts of others.
So your idea of love is wrong. I am guessing you never really experiance the real meaning of love. People abuse this word way too much. I did too before I actually found out what it feels like to be loved genuinely, unconditionally, and true.

Just because it happens doesn't make it normal. Crushing happens in relationships seems normal doesn't necessary means it is.

You are in a relationship without REAL love so this is why you are crushing on someone else.

[Anonymous]

It is wrong, but you seem to falling out being in love with your boyfriend. The fact that you guys have broken up once shows that you can't be happy and in love with him deeply like you used to after you went back to him. It's better if you move on, it sounds like you are trying hard to save this relationship but it'll become useless if you can't love him fully anymore, which you don't since you are paying attention to another guy. In worst case you might end up cheating (one of the reason cheaters cheat is because they don't know what to do in their relationship or desire another person), so you better leave since you're already focusing on another guy. Don't feel terrible, what you feel might be mot morally correct but it's not like we can't understand you.

[goodsoul]

Crushes do happen whether u r in relationship or not. But happens mostly when u think tht ur relationship getting stale. Then u start to find ur ways to spice it up. You do all the talking, cuddling thing with ur partner. But bcoz of ur crush u not feel much excited with ur partner whether how much he/ she is trying. Just only one way to save ur relationship is try to find faults in ur crush. He is human, he wil not be perfect as u might think right now. Imagine future with him, after few years wil u still get goose bumps after looking at him? Ans is... No. You wil certainly not. He may not be tht much caring as ur current partner is now. If u really wnt to save ur relationship with ur partner then try to see flaws in ur crush. Hope this may help

[Tripple]

You might be falling out of love, or there's something your boyfriend is not fulfilling in your life. You should talk to him about how you feel, no point of having a relationship surrounded by lies.

[mrinalashesh007]

You know you are really a nice committed girl who is trying hard to save her relationship..
I would like to give a thumbs up for your courage.. but at the same time.. please think if you're really happy with your bf? Lies can be good only if it's is worth it.. But weed! seriously? It doesn't make any sense to lie to your partner for fagging or boozing or even drugging! This cannot be avoided and forgiven at all.. he is literally ruining himself.. does he even know what are the harmful effects of weed? o forget it.. i know he knows but barely cares.. so what does he care? Does he care about you?

Please take your decision very carefully.. as i dont see you would be able to live with your boyfriend anymore.. let love find its own way.. Good luck!!

[slatyb]

It's totally normal to be strongly attracted to others whether in a relationship or not. I'm wondering why you are sticking with a boyfriend who according to you has a "weed addiction". People don't really become addicted to marijuana but they can certainly overuse it to the point where they can't do anything else. What's your boyfriend's plan for life, besides toking as much as possible? Sounds to me like you should stay broken up with your boyfriend and try dating some new people.

[HotDogg]

Sounds like your feelings for your ex boyfriend have dwindled, allowing someone who has not lied to you to have a place in your heart.

Do you feel like your relationship can be saved?

[Anonymous]

It's completely normal to have a crush and already be in a relationship. Acting on that crush is while in a relationship is not okay, of course But, if your relationship isn't stronger than a crush, it's already doomed.

[ThisDudeHere]

"I feel like the answer to this should be a solid no."

And it is.