Am I wrong for not wanting to meet my husband family?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for quite some time, however I have reasons for avoiding meeting his family. He severed communication with several of his family members. First, I am Facebook friends with several of his family members. I preferred to interact with them on social media since meeting me in person is pointless if you don't like me. His auntie still refers to one of his former “flings” as "her niece". This person enjoys wreaking chaos and deceiving others.. I was blocked by one of his cousins who referred to him as "her favorite". Many individuals in his family spread rumors about me, which they later discovered were false. They disliked me because of what they heard about me, but now they want to like me. They treated me disrespectfully before they even knew we were dating and getting married. They didn't care to get to know me. They liked the women that mistreated him and treated him like trash.

Updates

1 y

I forgot to mention that my husband didn’t even want me to meet his family. He said they wasn’t gonna appreciate me. I’m cool with his mama and few family members though

[DishLady]

It's odd not to meet each other's family (before getting married). "Friending" them on FB and other platforms can ultimately be seen as a betrayal of your man's conviction to cut ties with him. There's a dysfunctional element here that you seem to be aware of but are still connecting with them anyway, which is also odd.

[Asker]

He cut them off after this occurred which made him cut ties. I don’t wanna connect with them now. I just didn’t know if I was wrong or not

[DishLady]

"Wrong" is relative to the situation. If they screwed him over then it's his decision. But normally one meets the family for various reasons (the person's roots and health history, etc. etc. etc) before getting married. If that didn't happen then that's that.

[Asker]

I forgot to mention that this auntie is related by marriage. she’s married to his uncle. That’s where the drama falls in at. All these people just related by marriage which is her family. Her family comes into the family as if they own the entire family. Bottom line is he cut off contact with a lot of family members. His dad walked out his life again

[Abbycado]

How the fuck did you have a wedding without family around, including his?

I mean I know some don’t do a wedding, but surely they wanted to know who their son was marrying. No wonder you’re not wanting to meet them now.

[Asker]

lol ikr and his mama was around. I’m glad they didn’t know. If that’s what you think about me before meeting me in person then I don’t need your perception changing now.

[Abbycado]

She should’ve taken more interest in such a big moment in her son’s life.

[Asker]

She really did and she quit talking to a lot of family members too. It’s ashamed how I was treated. His siblings love me, mom, and step father. His auntie is just relation by marriage

[Abbycado]

That’s a shame really.

[Asker]

Yes I know and his siblings don’t hang around his uncle wife either. This is her family members that’s trying to take over the family. So it’s just immediate family

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of in-law relations can feel like you're trying to salsa dance in a minefield, especially when past drama and hearsay add to the mix! 🕺💥 Your hesitation isn't just understandable; it's practically a survival instinct at this point. Family dynamics can sometimes feel like walking into a season of a soap opera midway—confusing, dramatic, and with characters that leave you baffled.

However, love, as tricky and twisty as it can get, has this unique power of turning the tides. While your reasons for keeping a comfortable distance resonate louder than my neighbor's party music on a Saturday night, consider this: relationships, much like fine wine or my uncle's secret barbecue sauce, can evolve wonderfully over time. 🍷

Giving them a chance to meet the real you, away from the whispers and shadows of past misunderstandings, might just open up a new chapter. It's about setting boundaries, yes, but it's also about cautiously lowering the drawbridge over your moat, even if it's just an inch.

No pressure, though. Dip your toes in the waters at your own pace. Remember, your partner's support is your lifeline here, ensuring you're not left swimming with the sharks. When and if you're ready, a casual, low-pressure meet-up could pave the wave for new beginnings—or give you the comfort that you at least tried, wearing your fabulous 'I gave it a shot' badge. 🏅

And hey, if drama ensues, you've got the best excuse to lovingly remind your hubby why Netflix and chill was invented: avoiding unnecessary drama while cuddling under a cozy blanket.

[In_Trance]

Yes you're wrong

[Asker]

They don’t like me and didn’t bother to like me when they first heard of me. I always wonder why. He don’t speak to that side of the family at all.

[In_Trance]

You're creating problems in your head.
Stop doing that

[Asker]

How?

[Asker]

I do admit I do over exaggerate sometimes