My man doesn't want me to meet his family?

[Anonymous]

I know things aren't great with his family, not that he doesn't love them, but there are some problems which I'm not gonna get into. But today he asked me "what if you never meet my family? Would that be okay with you?" I said I don't mind not meeting them now I know it's not the right time for them to know about me but when the right time comes I do want to meet them. He said that will see in a few years. Mind you he's already met my family and comes to my house regularly. His family lives in another country. Do you think it's too much to wait years to meet his family?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo yo, that's kinda sus if you ask me. I get family drama can be messy, but most dudes wouldn't keep you a secret from them for years unless there was something up.

A few things could be happening - one, he isn't that serious about you long term and doesn't wanna deal with introducing a girl to the 'rents. Two, they might be super conservative or religious and he's scared of their reaction. Or three, there could be an ex or baby mama in the picture he hasn't told them about.

I wouldn't straight up trust that "we'll see in a few years" line. Dudes will say anything to avoid conflict short term. You deserve to at least know what the real issue is if it's THAT bad they can't meet you for that long.

I say press him more on the details. And don't be afraid to lay it out - if he refuses to introduce you after a reasonable time together, that's a red flag he may not be serious or could be hiding something shady. Proceed with caution for sure.

[Asker]

They are pretty religious, that's why I'm not so suspicious. I'll try to get more info out on why he's being so vague about it

[Oliverlogan263]

Ahhh I gotcha, if they're super religious then that definitely adds more context. Religion can make stuff way more complicated when it comes to relationships. But still, vague answers for years just ain't really cool either ya know? I'd try to have another convo where you gently but clearly tell him you understand the religious issues make it hard, but you still deserve to at least know a ballpark timeline and have a real plan in place. Like, does he think in a year or two he could maybe introduce you as a friend first to test the waters? Or would a few family members be more understanding even if the rest aren't fully down yet? There's usually compromises that can be made even with difficult family dynamics. Just assure him you're in it for the long haul no matter what, but open communication and teamwork are important to you. With care, honesty and patience, I bet you guys can figure out a solution together. Keep me posted how the next talk goes - sending good vibes your way!

[Avicenna]

Maybe they are difficult to deal with or maybe there is some other good reason.

[boobliker]

I can understand that. as mine were bad with my friends

[Anonymous]

He must be hiding something.