Whats going on in his head?

[Xlaurax34]

My boyfriend of a year has been trying to message other girls from his work.. 2 weren't interested , 1 was.. he's 36 there all early 20s.. while this was happening he got my name tattooed on his chest. He's also made a fake Facebook and messaging girls of there , saying he's single.. there sexy etc... Tbf these girls are not even good looking. Some are of Asian decent.. I don't know what's going on.. he can't even stand other men looking at me. When we're together he's all over me and tells me sweet lies obviously.. he even tells his family that I'm the 1 , and he doesn't wanna sleep with anyone else.. if that's the case what's going through his head messaging other girls... I'm 34 by the way. His actions are confusing me. Why get my name tattooed but message other girls wanting to meet? He tells lies about stupid things aswell.. I say he's a pathological liar.. he does also have ADHD, and an emotional and mood instability disorder

Updates

+1 y

Bit more background... He is good looking , goes gym etc.. I know he's a cheat. . . But his behaviour towards me totally counteracts what he's doing.. it's more that I can't understand his behaviour.

[Lionman95]

I think he developed a habit of needing other people´s attention when he was single. He says you´re the only one and maybe also means it because for him sleeping with a woman is a rather shallow thing. (I mean shallow in that context as an opposite of intimate).
Therefore chatting with and thinking about other women don´t seem like a big deal to him.
by the way I think you already gave the answer in your describtion because he has an emotional and mood instability disorder he probably need validation from other women.
Therefore now it´s something you have to decide either stafe with him and life with that or break off with him because if he really has a mood instability disorder he will need validation from as many people as possible.
If you can´t live with that you should consider leaving him because you can´t change him especially as long as he doesn´t want to change.
It might harsh but at the end of the decision you have to make.

[Xlaurax34]

Thank you.. no I can't deal with him continually doing that.. it wouldn't be ok for me to do it. And I never would.. as I said he doesn't even like men looking at me while we're out let alone message them

[slatyb]

He's a sociopath. He's going to say and do whatever he feels will be most advantageous for him at the moment, regardless of the effect it may have on others. He got tattooed because he figured that would make it harder for you to leave him. Surprise him and do it anyway.

[Xlaurax34]

The tattoo is just below his neck.. centered... If he was to sleep with someone else, my names guna be in her face.. I've already got him to move out.. but I've still been seeing him. It's still raw for me I only found out a week ago

[spartan55]

So, you don't care if cheats, you just need to 'understand it'? Are you kidding me?

[Xlaurax34]

No... I do care lol... Even texting is cheating to me.. I just want to understand before I move on..

[spartan55]

At what price? Your sanity? How about, he is a piece of cheater, that's why. Girls always seem to demand answers, and a nice tidy bow on situations. It just doesn't work that way.

[Xlaurax34]

I suppose Ur right... I just need to forget him.. this is a continuous cycle for him... I'm jumping off his merry go round

[spartan55]

He probably thinks he has you brainwashed into staying with him by now.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he has a few issues, do you really want to build a life with him? I'd really think about that and if he's really who you want to be with and have as a partner. This isn't "normal" behavior, so a very serious talk with him, or decide if you really want that relationship. Because this doesn't sound like something that will just go away. I suspect your entire relationship with this man will be like this. Do you want to continue to put yourself through that?

[Opinion Owner]

As far as "understanding his behavior" who knows (but him) why he's doing this for sure. Sounds like he just wants to make sure you don't go anywhere (keep you around), and it's working! Think of women that do this with guys. It's no different. They give them "just enough" that they stay with them.

[Xlaurax34]

No it's not what I want.. I give 100% and am totally faithful. I deserve the same in return.. 1 day maybe.. seems like there's a lot ov dirty cheats out there

[Paul09]

It's not a about looks, and you are finding the hard way. She's a control freak. Leave him before you get hurt real bad. And what's wrong with Asian women excalty. If you even know what that world means..

[Xlaurax34]

Nothing is wrong with them.. I'm blonde and blue eyes, so the opposite.. 1 ov the girls wears that much too make up she actually looks like a tranny... He only found this 1 through Facebook so he can't say he liked her for her personality 🤣 I wear more natural make up and he tells me I don't need that..

[Paul09]

Yeah most makeup does make women look like tabbies. Not attractive one bit. Materialistic. Still why would you want to be put in this situation? He has you and is looking for someone else? You deserve better.

[sensible27]

Maybe he's insecure? Have you tried talking to him about it

[Xlaurax34]

Yes I have.. he just says he knows he stupid... He knows I love him and would never cheat on him... I feel like somethings a miss in his head..

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he needs affirmation and is thrill-seeking

[Xlaurax34]

Why would he do this.. if I've gave him everything he said he wanted?

[megabamse]

Dump him, he might have lost interest in you. Or he's simply a idiot.

[Iron_Man]

He’s a dirty cheater hiding it Get rid of him

[Xlaurax34]

Easier said than done.. he's now moved out but my love is real.. it hurts

[Iron_Man]

You can find a new boyfriend it’s not that that hard for most woman in the world

[Xlaurax34]

No it's not hard.. but I don't want just anyone.. I love him, so would need to get over that before moving on

[Contra1166]

He's cheating on you in my opinion.

[Xlaurax34]

I know he is, even tho I know for a fact not physically yet!! I just don't get why

[Contra1166]

He got no respect for you, some men see women your age as "no good" bc of the proverbial wall at 30 thing. those younger women are probably east for him to use and they're probably really submissive and youthful bc of the age gap.

[Contra1166]

you'd be surprised it's kinda sad a lot of men think that way about relationships and women. I used to but I always felt it's wrong and unfair. That mentality sets the relationship up for failure.

[Luckycharms12]

He isn't smartest tool in the box dump him