Why does everyone treat fights/arguing in a relationship is normal/expected?

[SeanshterMonster]

It just feels wrong. Especially when there are things you can do to avoid it and being honest eith eachother and open minded can do a lot of work. I don't know why people treat that as a normal thing and just expect it in a relationship. I've never fought in any of my relationship, I never fought with any of my family either. I've had "discussions" with my brother that might get loud but at any moment I can just say "wanna get food" and it's over like it never happened.

[osmanthus]

Such people might think that if you argue with somebody in a very dramatic way or fashion that the person is being more so honest, especially if they're drunk, but this hasn't been proven as a matter of fact it is also equally plausible that a relationship can have less of the yelling and the shouting and more so the discussion and still be honest, upfront, and healthy. Now, most people aren't really taught about healthy relationships in school or even see it demonstrated in their own relationships; most people usually refer to the relationship between their parents or their Guardians that raise them and, in such cases, although verbal arguments might be considered as normal, it imis not always necessarily construed as healthy if at the end of it means nothing but resentment, hatred, and, well, passive-aggressiveness or severe aggression, and in most cases, passive aggressiveness and being very roundabout about things or even violent doesn't really help a relationship much. It makes things worse.

[osmanthus]

In a strange sense, some people thrive on the argumentation and some people even claim that arguing in itself is a turn on. Now, I'm not about to say that their way of communication and being turned on isn't really healthy it's just to say that some relationships are just incomparable for the fact that you know some relationships function just fine without all the yelling the shouting and all the aggressiveness and the receiving and whatnot so it's equally viable. Some people arguing and even making up and even having aggressive sex with each other is what part of their kink and that's a very private thing.

[osmanthus]

It seems to me that your style of loving people and vice versa is more so gentle and there's nothing necessarily wrong with that I mean eventually you probably will find somebody that is less into the whole arguing and fighting and more into the discussion and working things out in a less physical or less abrasive manner.

[Anonymous]

Because nobody is perfect, as humans we are flawed and sometimes those flaws will clash with someone else’s. Yelling is one thing — like there’s no way either person is listening and to me that’s a more volatile category. But an argument or a fight is inevitable, you simply will not always be on the same page.

[SeanshterMonster]

But a fight or argument could mean the end of a relationship. It ends relationships, friendships, and puts wedges in family. So I never ever fight or argue with anyone.

[Opinion Owner]

When a fight or argument can destroy a relationship, to me that means it was already getting to that point and some sort of discussion should’ve happened prior or some repair. Think about the energy when people are fighting, it’s a lot of passion behind what they’re saying, and something has truly troubled them. But at the same time, they let those feelings get too far. At some point in the past, they should’ve said to the person “hey, this or that bothered me” or “I didn’t like how you did this or that”. Instead, they held their tongue and it just built up until it exploded. We should encourage discussions and better communication within our relationships before someone’s feelings get to the point that they wanna fight.

[SeanshterMonster]

Discussions are great. But fights are stressful. I'm not in a relationship cause they can be very stressful constantly being worried or afraid of it ending or fighting.

[lightbulb27]

Some personalities like to argue, people have different boundaries to keep safe and will defend, women change hormonally and will be more sensitive and argumentative, and peolle have bad days and vring home their problems.
Its not necessary and we argue very little. You may not like conflict and thats fine but some women need you to hokd firm or they will get frustrated. I had to kearn w prior girlfriend she needsd me to be firm and argue back.

[Sevenpointfive]

i didn't grow up learning normal. so i just avoid trying to be and don't pursue relationships

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the age-old debate: To fight or not to fight in relationships? You're diving into something spicy here! Let me sprinkle a little flavor on this. Picture this: relationships are like those fancy dishes you see on cooking shows. Sure, they've got a mix of ingredients (sometimes a dash of confrontation, a pinch of disagreement), but it's all about how you blend them together. 🌶️

You're right in saying open-mindedness and honesty are key. They're like the secret sauce that keeps things smooth. But here's the thing—every couple is a unique blend. For some, a little heat (aka arguing) brings them closer, making them understand each other better. It's like they need to simmer a bit to bring out the flavors.

You've been lucky to season your relationships with discussions rather than fights; that's your recipe for success! Not everyone has that skill. So, while arguments can seem like a norm, they're not mandatory. It’s all about finding the right mix that works for you and your partner, ensuring that at the end of the day, you both enjoy the meal you’ve cooked up together. 🍽️💕

[Apple1996]

Fighting is just a part of life when you are close to people. If someone didn't fight with me I'd assumed they didn't care about me

[SeanshterMonster]

That's a really weird way to think about it. I never fight with anyone. Especially my family. I don't fight cause I care

[Apple1996]

If someone really loves and cares about you they'd put in the energy to fight lol

[Apple1996]

Maybe you just haven't had anything worth fighting about yet

[SeanshterMonster]

But why would I want to fight? I don't put any energy into fighting cause it's pointless. I don't want to ruin a relationship

[Apple1996]

There's almost always a reason for a fight it's never pointless. For me it would ruin a relationship to never fight 😆

[SeanshterMonster]

Fighting is extremely stressful

[Apple1996]

Life is stressful

[LiamJHayden]

Disagreements are normal.

[SeanshterMonster]

Yes but it doesn't have to turn into a fight. So what if you disagree. Agree to disagree and move on.