Do you think this is right?

[Anonymous]

My mom and my dad have been married for 20 years and my mom and dad think its acceptable for them both to look at other men and women they find attractive. However i wouldn't want my boyfriend looking at other women and i know he wouldn't want me looking at other men. Maybe im being too protective or naive but this makes me uncomfortable. My mom always brushes it off and says "i can look"
Maybe its because she's from a totally different time. I don't know

[oppai1]

Sometimes when couples get older they get more open to that kind of thing. Like, when you're young the bigger worry is that looking is going to turn into flirting and eventually cheating. After 20 years of a committed marriage it's kind of like, "oh whatever, they can look but not touch" since they've proved their loyalty.

I get it though, I don't really like the idea of a boyfriend looking at other girls but at the same time I can understand how your parents would end up like that.

[luvstoned4him]

You ever walk down the road and see a beautiful garden and think yourself, "What a pretty garden"?

Well thats how it is with. We all admire people whether we admit it or not. I have done it and my ex has done it but I believe strongly in faithfulness and will never intentionally do anything to hurt my partner because I love and respect them.

The only this I won't try to look and oogle men when he is around - thats called respect.

[luvstoned4him]

@Asker thanks for mho 🙏

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the intricacies of what we feel is "right" in relationships is always a spicy topic, isn't it? Let's sprinkle some love wisdom here! 🌶️ Each relationship is a unique cocktail mixed with its own rules, boundaries, and understanding. What works for your mom and dad is like their secret recipe - it's tailored to their tastes and has been keeping their love brewing for 20 years! 🍹

Now, regarding your feeling like a protective love guardian over your relationship, it's completely normal. The key ingredient here is communication. Serving up your boundaries in a conversation with your partner creates that perfect blend of trust and understanding. It's all about finding what's comfortable for both of you in the love menu. 💌

So, maybe take a leaf out of your parents' love book - not the looking part, but the communication chapter. Sharing how you feel can help ensure that both you and your beau stay on the same page of your love story. Remember, every relationship has its own flavor, so find the one that makes your heart sing! 🎤💘

[DishLady]

LOOK or go out with? There's a big difference.

[FunkyMonkee]

Nothing wrong with looking, Window shopping is fine, as long as you aren't actually buying.
I don't understand how you can go through your life and constantly refrain from looking at anybody else just because you have a lover or spouse! You might as well just become a monk! Isn't that the reason middle-eastern women walk around in body length black bags with only a slit for their eyes?
Okay, I have a boyfriend, lock me up in the basement and chain me to the wall for the rest of my life so I won't ever look at or talk to another guy!

[Asker]

That's dramatic. We don't want to look at anyone else, we don't do it because we're together. We do it because we don't feel the need to look at anyone else. How can you say you're in love with someone but then go and look t other men and women you are attracted to. Clearly you're not that in love. That's what i don't understand.

[FunkyMonkee]

My ex-fiance & I both knew that I was GONNA look but I made it VERY clear to her that I'm ONLY LOOKING! And that I was MADLY in love with HER!! Also, I don't like being told who I can and can't look at or talk to! I also didn't impose any rules of that sort onto her! Problem is, SHE went a few steps too far!! So, OBVIOUSLY, SHE'S the one that wasn't madly in love!! So, why should I refrain from looking and talking to other women when SHE'S the one that's most likely to cheat on ME? At least I'M VERY LOYAL!! I HAD other offers but, I turned them all down!! Obviously, I'M the one with the will power!!
Anyway, a good bit of what I was referring to was the numerous times I've been out in the public and just said hi to a woman or nodded hello to her and she, being attached to someone, ignored the hell out of me BECAUSE she's attached! Suddenly, saying hello to someone means you wanna fuck them? News to me!! All I was trying to do was be friendly! If you can't trust yourself not to get romantically or sexually carried away just because someone was being friendly, maybe you DO need to be chained to the wall.

[Asker]

Im not saying we can't have contact with anyone at all. I just meant that looking at people you find attractive and that you would usually talk to and go out with if you were single, is what im referring to. That is why me and my boyfriend just prefer not to bother looking. We don't feel the need to. Why bother looking at people if everything you want is already with you. If you're looking at other men and women that way, clearly you don't have everything you want in that person.

[FunkyMonkee]

Okay.

[Nikki1989]

Looking occasionally out in the wild is normal. It is when it extends to the internet (porn, dating sites, social media) that it crosses the line.

[EmmaMary]

Both my husband and I have this saying which goes "we can window shop providing we don't go in and buy!"

It's only human nature that we will look at most things (not just humans) we find attractive.

[mobiusforniner]

My wife and I have been married over a decade and we find other people attractive all the time. You want to know what’s very UN attractive?

Being insecure.

[Enes38]

I think your mom and dad should think this is disgusting

[noohair]

Look but don't touch.