Would you be ok with your SO keeping pics of their ex spouse?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend still keeps pictures of his ex wife and they have been divorced since 2008 no kids together. I seen them while putting an family album together. He claimed he didn't care what I did with him. But I could tell he didn't mean it. I almost feel like throwing them away behind his back.

[MrOracle]

That's a part of his life, just like friends from school or whatever.

If they're sitting in a box in the garage or some album on a shelf, who cares? He's obviously not looking at them on any kind of regular basis, he's not trying to have an 8x10" framed by your bed, or a poster-sized blow-up in his office - they're just essentially in storage.

If THAT bothers you, that's pretty insecure of you. He's allowed to remember his past, as long as he's not trying to make it his present. And nothing you've said gives even the remotest suggestion that he's doing that.

And I would say the same to you if you had old pictures stored somewhere.

[andy530]

I guess to me it would depend on the photos

[Asker]

Pictures of just her he has taken.

I was with my ex for 17 years and the only ones are left I gave to my daughter because she's in the pictures with him.

[andy530]

That makes sense if they are just if her get rid of them but if they have other people I might consider keeping them

[Asker]

It would be fine if they had his mom or sister in them. But it's weird to hang onto ones of just her. She cheated on him and the way he found out is when she emptied their house. I don't know why someone would want to keep pic's of someone who did them that dirty.

[andy530]

He might not be fully healed from that and hanging onto the pictures is a symptom of that underlying emotional wound

[Asker]

Therapy might help him possible couples therapy. I know he loves me but I think he needs help moving past everything that happened. I can't make this all about my feelings.

[andy530]

You are very insightful. I agree therapy and possibly couples therapy might be a great asset as he heals. I hope it all works out for both of you

[HelpfulWoman]

never throw them away.
YOU chose a person to date with a past.
So fuck off now deciding it's weird

[Asker]

Reported sweetie 😉

[Danny_dan92]

I’d first ask the reason for it

[Agape93]

Yeap

[jahaims]

Obviously not