Am I wrong for telling my brother in law to F off when he was complaining about his broken life resulting from his cheating?

[worldscolide]

Not many details for this other than in conversation while he was doing his poor poor pitiful me act because he cheated and his wife left him for it, I told him to fuck off. I'm. Okay talking to him about anything else, but that subject is permanently off limits until he grows up.

[DishLady]

Some people don't have a moral compass and justify cheating with ALL manner of excuses, but the truth is that they're just morally bankrupt and have no sense of agency.

Your BIL (as is the case with many cheaters), "... look[s] at the speck of sawdust in [his] brother’s eye and pay[s] no attention to the log in [his] own eye?" (Matt 7:3-5)

It's tough to see a family member on an wrong path. You're not wrong for telling him to leave you out of this. This is something he needs to want to see for himself. Hopefully he doesn't keep hurting people with his irresponsible actions.

[worldscolide]

I did it more for my wife, every time my wife talks to him, she ends up crying for 2 or 3 days.

[DishLady]

😢 I’m so sorry. :(

Yeah, of course you did. You’re a good guy. Sorry you two are going through this.

[worldscolide]

Yeah me too, in my wife's words, "he was supposed to be our example" but at least I'd never, ever consider cheating on her.

[DishLady]

Oh, is he her elder? It’s tougher to see someone you look up to do immoral things. :(

[worldscolide]

Agreed

[midnightmoon05]

This is your sister or your wife’s sister?
either way, he is no longer part of the family. You have no obligation to have any contact with him.

my mil wanted to talk to me (wanted me to continue to be her friend) during my divorce (them - not admitting she is the main reason for the divorce）…

till this day, I still refuse to talk to her…

[worldscolide]

It's my wife's brother, my brother in law.

[Skinhead-1979]

You can tell anyone to Fuck off if you feel a need to... More so if the other person is your brother-in-law or otherwise related to you.

(Pardon the language... it's meant as a jest 😉)

He is cheated on your sister for fuck sake, of course you can tell the fuck prick to fuck off!

About swearing and cursing:

[AI Opinion]

Navigating these emotional waters can be tricky, and your response, while fiery, speaks volumes about your stance on infidelity. It's completely understandable to have little patience for someone playing the victim card, especially when their own actions led to their predicament. It's crucial, though, moving forward, to foster an environment where both accountability and growth are encouraged. Maybe frame future conversations around how he can mend his ways or support others in learning from his mistakes. Balancing empathy with firmness can turn an uncomfortable chuck off into a constructive step forward. Remember, we're all about turning messes into messages! ;)

[TrueConfection]

Not at all. I've always said that a cheater doesn't just cheat on their spouse. They are cheating on their kids too (along with other affected family members).

[sage2021]

No, you weren't wrong at all.

And because he decided to cheat, now you got involved and now you are fighting with each other.

This is not fair to you. Tell him next time he decides to cheat to leave you out of it!

[Agape93]

Nope