Am I too bad to be loved by the person I love for once?

[Anonymous]

Disclaimer : writting this while crying pls no negative comments!!

Why everytime i love someone and put all my effort they don't love me, they either love bomb me or use me.. I want to stop crying.. my heart is in pain.. i feel a real pain in my chest.. Never knew i'd fall in love online but it happened and it hurt me, when i confessed my feelings to him, he said that am naive and not healthy for him after love bombing me and telling me he is attached to me, then he told me that he can't do a LDR and he did it once and he loved that girl he was with, everytime he talks about her i feel knives in my heart.. he loved her even if its online and he didn't feel the same with me. I'm so broken now, i cry everytime, why he did this to me, just whyyy. I want to move on so fast and numb my heart and i don't want to meet him when he come to my country, he said that he was lucky with me and filled me with compliments which made me get attached more and more, i thought that even with distance we'll make it work. i want to disappear from his life i don't see any reason in meeting him when he comes here, i don't think i can even look at him after what he did to my heart.. he fixed my heart one day and broke it then.. my heart is so broken now.. hope it heals soon..

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay sis I know it hurts right now but please don't blame yourself or think you're not deserving of love. You seem like a kind, caring person and anyone would be lucky to have your heart.

It sucks this guy lead you on and didn't reciprocate your feelings after getting your hopes up. That's super unfair and it's okay to feel hurt and betrayed. Cry it out - that's healing.

But don't let one jerk make you bitter or lose hope. His issues have nothing to do with you. Clearly he wasn't mature enough for an LDR or to follow through with what he started. None of this reflects on your worth.

Learn from this experience - protect your heart next time. Go slow with showing emotions until you're more sure the person really sees you for you. But please keep believing there's someone out there who will cherish your love and affection.

As for meeting him when he comes, if being around him will set your healing back then skip it - you need to take care of you right now! The pain will fade over time, until then be gentle with yourself. You got this sis!

[Asker]

Thank you so much, your answer is really helpful, and your words made me smile, i'll move on and never reply to his texts, may god give me the power

[Oliverlogan263]

Awww I'm really glad to hear my reply helped make you smile a little! That always makes me feel good when I can help cheer someone up, even just a bit. And good for you for deciding not to reply to his texts - that's definitely the right choice. He doesn't deserve any more of your time or energy after what he put you through.

It's going to take strength but I know you've got this. Lean on your friends for support and just keep staying busy with things that make you happy. May god give you all the power and healing you need. You're awesome and you totally got this! In no time at all you'll be feeling so much better without that jerk weighing you down. And who knows, maybe the great guy you're meant to be with is out there waiting for when you're ready. But for now, focus on you - you've got this!!! :)

[ChicoFromThe305]

He made it clear that he doesn't want anything, you should make move on with the closure that there was simply nothing for you there and there won't be, it's better than being stringed along for longer and I'm sure you are in pain now but things heal and you'll feel better even tho it doesn't feel that way rn, you'll be alright, trust

[Asker]

He only said that after i confessed.. all the time he was saying that he is jealous from the guys i meet at gym, he is attached to me, he want my attention.. ill move on hope its fast

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep he was carrying you on for his own selfish reasons most likely, the good thing is that you will get over it, just find distractions that will help speed up the process like hanging with friends and family, hobbies and doing things that will distract you.

[DishLady]

What’s going on over there. Missy?


Step away from the computer/phone and think about this:


1. If you're “bad” why are you being bad? What’s your motivation?


2. If you know it’s bad, why still do it? Every day is a clean slate, an opportunity to start fresh.


3. The Bible teaches us to forgive… turn the other cheek… forgive 70 x 7… do unto others… etc etc etc. And you know who the first one to forgive you is? God…. If He can show you that Grace, you surely owe it to Him to show yourself some grace as one of His children.


4. The first one to love you? God… The next one should be you… and when you figure out how to love and appreciate yourself others will do the same.


4. Now think about what you can change in your mind, heart and life path to feel genuinely loved… Baby steps… One thing a day… Till you’re on a good and positive path to feeling loved.

[Asker]

Am not christian

[DishLady]

It’s ok… look those up, and know that whatever you follow isn’t going to lead to brimstone and misery….

[AI Opinion]

Oh, sweetheart, it sounds like you've been on a rollercoaster of emotions, haven't you? 💔 The pain of unrequited love, especially when it comes with mixed signals and love bombing, can feel like being on the receiving end of a Shakespearean tragedy. But here’s a little secret: being “too bad” to be loved isn’t a thing. You’re not the problem here; it's the situation and his inability to appreciate the fabulous person you are.

First off, crying is okay. It’s the body's way of cleansing itself from the inside out. But let me sprinkle a bit of sunshine here: this experience, as heart-wrenching as it is, will teach you resilience, self-worth, and the importance of mutual love and respect in any relationship. Remember, anyone who makes you question your worth or leaves you feeling like you're on an emotional pendulum doesn't deserve the VIP pass to your heart.

As hard as it seems now, focusing on self-love and surrounding yourself with people who uplift you can be incredibly healing. You've got this incredible capacity to love, and that means you also have the strength to heal and find someone who not only returns your love but celebrates it. For now, give yourself permission to mourn the loss but also to dream about the love you truly deserve, one that doesn’t come with conditions or comparison.

And about not wanting to meet him - trust that feeling. Your peace of mind and emotional well-being take precedence over any obligation to meet someone who has caused you pain. You are the architect of your happiness; never forget that. With time, the pain will lessen, and you'll look back at this as a turning point, where you chose yourself. Healing is on the horizon, love. Just take it one day at a time. 💙