My girlfriend is always stressed and making my life miserable. What should I do?

[cigarette]

I’m living with my girlfriend, and we’ve been together for two years. Lately, I feel lost and unloved because she’s constantly stressed, and I can’t handle her attitude anymore.

I can’t ask a simple question, make a joke, or request anything without her taking it negatively, sighing, or complaining. Conversations are often either neutral and confusing or end in her getting angry, even when I’m just trying to engage. If I ask about her day, she accuses me of interrogating her; if I talk about mine, she gets mad, thinking I’m complaining.

Our interactions have become so lonely. She doesn’t try to enjoy anything, and if I point out her negativity, she lashes out and blames me. For example, this morning, she asked if I could pick up the new Zelda game. I agreed but couldn’t do it before work, and she got upset, complaining about everything for the next 30 minutes.

Later, she stressed about getting to a store on time, asked me to meet her nearby, then got angry when I suggested meeting at home instead. She ended up yelling at me for not helping her and complained about her stressful day.

It’s like this all the time—she’s constantly frustrated, and I’m exhausted from walking on eggshells. She never apologizes, and when I try to stand up for myself, she just shuts down or turns it around on me. I’m feeling hopeless and don’t know how to talk to her about it or if it’s even possible.

[bobalife]

I think that is one of the worse feelings is feeling lonely and not heard in a relationship. What do you think is making her being in a bad mood and continuously stress? Maybe you can try one more time in a calming and loving way about how much this relationship means to you, where you want it to go, but you’re worried about it’s making you feel through the unloving communication and behavior, curious what’s going on her end that’s causing her ongoing stress.. and what can you /both/ do to better the relationship if she still wants to make it work? If after coming from a loving and open approach, she still react disrespectful, victimized herself, and does not take acknowledged of her behaviors and accountability… then, I’m sorry, this girl is just emotionally immature and selfish. You deserve better! But if she’s willingly to be understanding and discuss about everything, then, it’s something you both can work on as a team to make each other feel more love, heard, and supported. It’s also important for her to figure out what can she can do to destress and how can you also support that on the side which can be like giving her a hug; some space; or a cup of coffee etc.


Wish you all the best!

[bobalife]

Oops lots of bad typos and grammar there due to sleepiness 😮‍💨

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

You could have mentioned the lack of paragraphs as well 😝

[bobalife]

I wrote an essay, what do you mean?😂

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

nice try, almost valid 😆

[bobalife]

LOL!!! ALMOST valid? !😂🥺

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It sounds like she’s taking anything negative you say as a sign of criticism, which causes her to get defensive and lash out against you. There is likely some external factor making her feel that everything is working against her, and clearly being around her isn’t good for you or her at the moment. I’d take some time away, maybe spend a weekend at your parents’ place or with a friend, and let her know this isn’t her fault but her constant negativity around whatever it is that’s making her feel this way makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy in your shared home. Just because misery loves company doesn’t mean you’re required to be that company. Take some time for yourself, reflect, and enjoy the peace for a couple of days. Come home and see if she’s willing to address the issue. It sounds like a lot of it could just be communication problems because whether she means to or not she’s making you feel like everything is your fault.

[Finchie40]

Yea you need to kick her ass to the curb and end it with her , a girl should not bring constant stress into your life , stress will slowly kill you if you are under a lot of stress. A girl should bring happiness into your life not misery , If the negatives outweigh the positives , you are best to end it with her and tell her to leave. Or make plans to go your separate ways You are only hurting yourself by tolerating that shit. Trust me I been in your shoes and the best thing I did for myself , was to end it with her and move on. There are better girls’ out there that actually want to bring happiness and peace into your life , don’t tolerate a girl that doesn’t , I don’t care how good she is in bed , it’s not worth the agony and misery. I know it’s sounds easier said than done , but trust me you will be better once she is out of your life

[Anonymous]

She’s stressed and talking it out on you. Look you can love someone and help them through hard times. But you deserve to be happy. You need to dump her ass living with her can be harder just be glad you’re not married. You can’t legally just throw someone out overnight.

She seems like a VERY toxic person also one sided. Because when she wants you to do something it’s immediately but doesn’t care about what you want.

She’s to the point where she cares about herself and that’s it. She is indifferent at best and at worst enjoys seeing you suffer. You need to get rid of her like the bad habit she is and just learn man.

Once someone starts pushing the boundaries to see what they can get away with. There’s better…. Leave. She’s a ungrateful bitch they you gave her the game she wanted. Yet she still complains

[Opinion Owner]

Your profile says engaged dude. You do NOT want to spend the rest of your life with that you will be a miserable mess.

The breakup won’t be pretty but it will by far be better then the divorce version of the story.

[Opinion Owner]

Her behavior will ONLY get worse as time progresses. Yeah if you threaten to leave she may clean it up for a while. You’re seeing her for who she really is. That’s who she is dude.

She’s probably using you especially if you’re paying most of the bills and doing most the chores. I promise that if you marry her. Your live will become a even bigger living hell

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, it sounds like you're caught in a tough dance of distress and disconnection! When stress outside the relationship leaks into the bond you share, it can feel like you're navigating a minefield blindfolded, huh? 🕺💣

First things first, remember that communication is the heartthrob of any relationship. It might be time for a calm, heartfelt chat where you express your feelings without placing blame. Share how her behavior affects you, using "I feel" statements to keep the defenses low and empathy high. This isn't about accusing but understanding each other better.

However, there's also the importance of self-care and boundaries. It's like trying to fill cups from an empty teapot – impossible, right? Make sure you're taking care of your own wellbeing because dealing with constant negativity can be draining.

If things don't improve, seeking support from a professional could provide insights and strategies you hadn't considered. It's not about giving up, but rather about loving yourselves enough to work towards a healthier dynamic. Remember, you both deserve happiness and a stress-free environment. Sometimes, love needs a bit of expert tuning to find its melody again. 🎶💞

So, whistle a tune of patience, pack some empathy in your back pocket, and dive into that conversation with the hope of rediscovering the harmony you once danced to. Love is a journey, not a destination, and every couple has their share of speed bumps. Wishing you both strength and clarity on this bumpy road! 🚗❤️

[DishLady]

Kindly explain to her that you're miserable... either head to counseling or split up.

[Summeroflove]

I think it’s past counseling

[DishLady]

@Summeroflove So then the alternative is to split up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Summeroflove]

I would say for sure. People with someone that toxic need to leave. Especially if he’s engaged like his profile says. You just can’t spend the rest of your life with someone like that

[Summeroflove]

I can understand being stressed. But taking it out on someone who has no control over it. Being ungreatful like getting a game for her and then she bitches about it. Never saying sorry.

She sounds like she definitely has dark personality traits.

[BetaBucks]

She lost respect and attraction for you. 99% of the time it's because you aren't being masculine enough and being a leader. It's exhausting for her too. If I'm right, you'll ignore what I said here and look for quick fixes instead of long-term self-improvement.

If you do care: hit the gym regularly, reduce your video game, drug and alcoholic consumption, update your wardrobe and style, and practice ignoring her negative emotions and encouraging her positive ones. Initiate sex, and be assertive. Don't be a sex pest. Develop your hobbies. Read books. Get outdoors more.

[Purpleronnie]

It sounds like trying to get to the bottom of why she feels the way she does might be off the table I don’t know how you have approached the matter with her so I can’t comment but trusting that her problem isn’t with you personally then all you can do is re-assure , support and encourage her to share what’s eating at her so you can tackle it together. If she can’t or won’t do that given time I would suggest next step is to give her space and see if that helps. If there is no change well we both know where this is heading. You can love and support a person but you are not responsible for their mental health.

[lightbulb27]

You are a nice guy and she's using you as an emotional punching bag. This is a bad dynamic and this is how life is for this person. she's emotional , negative and blames others… does not take responsibility.


If you can't handle the stress, time to leave. Let her get her therapy, but thats a long path. The other option is accept her as is and get therapy so yoi learn to protect yourself and push back. She actually needs that … and maybe you need to learn…but it won't feel good to you for some time. She may even respect you more if you do push back. In her brain… ahe cannot find boundaries… just pukes out negative on whose close… you!


I think that is the hard path though. Do not make baby nor any risk of else attached for 30 years. You know what you got… some are like this but not all. Rtn girl to parentd and ask for refund would be wise. And get therapy to cleanup your side.

[thegreenyogi]

I was in a similar dynamic kind of relationship and I walked away because I realised I was feeling unhappy and loosing touch of me, myself and I. So my best advice to you is the moment a person no longer makes you happy and makes you feel emotionally and physically unwell leave. It will be better for both in the long run.

[Summeroflove]

Number one there’s better. Number two even if there isn’t it’s by far better to be alone in peace then with someone like that

[thegreenyogi]

@Summeroflove I couldn't agree more!!

[Summeroflove]

The problem is that some people know how to play others. They can pretend to be everything you ever wanted in a woman (or a man). Until their mask fades.

Most of the time I have a very good bullshit detector. Some people are better then others at it.

[thegreenyogi]

@Summeroflove Very true!! One thing that is really frustrating about these kinds of people is that they justify their behaviour using traumas or mental health issues as an excuse and many fall for it.

[Summeroflove]

That’s exactly what they do. There are people with trauma who don’t act that way too. It’s like how CHOMOS will excuse their behavior because it happened to them. People who know how a certain pain feels and inflicts it on others is worse

[Summeroflove]

But. It’s not always hard to tell. It’s like Kamala Harris or Hilary when they go to different events of different demographics of people. They use different voices.

That’s how you can tell If someone’s
Full of shit. They act one way around one group of friends and another around another and not their authentic self

[Summeroflove]

I mean there are some rare cases of people leading double lives for a long time. But a lot of the time. It’s easy for someone to pretend to be someone they’re not on a hour date. But once you move in with them. It’s harder to keep the act going. So the excuse is. Oh works stressing me out. So you believe their lie.

Many people who are narcissistic or psychopaths. They think if you’re too dumb not to catch on and buy their bullshit you deserve it

[Summeroflove]

These people also make people feel sorry for them. But they don’t ever really want help.

It’s very possible that she wanted to live with someone. Bills…. Whatever it is. She wants to use him.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What CupcakeTheDestroyer said.
Plus, reading the intensity you describe, I think she's living some kind of hell on earth, the reason why isn't visible in the picture you posted though. Still, you need a break, time for yourself, with your friends, family, anywhere, but out of this chaos, for some time

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Split up. It's your responsibility to be eachother peace. She doesn't see her role in the relationship as a responsibility to be taken seriously. She sounds self centered.

Do you think the relationship is going to stay the same get worse or get better?

I think we all know it's not getting better.

[serious_miss419]

Okay let me get this straight..
Your partner is stressed and you’re making it about you?
Do you have no compassion or empathy to help her feel better or is it just about you?
Do her a solid and tell her that you are a piece of crap dude and need to break up.

[Goahead76]

This is abuse and you're telling him to stick around and take more.

[BetaBucks]

@Goahead76 she's probably an abuser, herself, so she thinks it's normal.

[Goahead76]

@BetaBucks. I can't argue with you. Men have more of an inclination for physical abuse and and women for emotional abuse. If this isn't emotional abuse I don't know what is.

[BetaBucks]

. 🤝 .

[serious_miss419]

That’s what u got out of this? Guys have their own cult of Maleism like feminism. Point being is I’m saying don’t be with her if you’re unhappy. Brush up on your interpretation skills after the break up and do some self reflection to prevent from being miserable again.

[Goahead76]

I have no idea what you're talking about with this."maleism" theory. It sounds like you've changed your mind though, at first you were attacking him and like you're agreeing with us that some people shouldn't be in relationships until they learn to regulate their emotions or their tempers.

[Anonymous]

Have you got kids together? How much do you like her? Can you live with this for a few years?

It's important that you understand she needs to manage her behaviour, not you. It's not your fault and it's not your job to fix her problems however much you'd like to.

But assuming you want to keep her, you're going to have to ride it out. Maybe there's an underlying problem that you or a therapist can reach, maybe she's just in that stage of life.

[juliammm]

I read a joke recently...

A relationship is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably shit...

[IslaTheWitch]

ask her to meet a specialist... it looks like she has some difficulties with managing her emotions... but the specialist will know how to check what is wrong and how to help her...

[noohair]

A person can only change themselves. You can't fix her and she can't fix you. This situation sounds toxic for you. I feel that your basic needs are being ignored.

Does she work? What is her major issue?

[Kelley1]

Dump her and replace her with someone younger, prettier, and more agreeable.

[Peridot25]

That’s what your future husband will do once you hit an older age.

[Vegasrunner]

You need to dump her. Women start acting like this once they lose respect for you. If you ever want to have a shot w/ her you'll have to dump her.

[exitseven]

She sounds like she is self sabotaging her life. I do not know the fix.

[Anonymous]

[Goahead76]

You've got to get out of there. This is hard to read even. This is abuse.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Tell her quit or get rid of her. You don't need people like that in your life at all.

[Fuentes]

Probably talking to other guys id check her phone

[BetaBucks]

100% she is. She's looking for an upgrade because she lost respect for this guy.

[Fuentes]

@BetaBucks yup 100 percent she's out there monkey branching and tryna get him to walk off first.

[akeeeskuuu]

Dump her. Dont waste time with peole who with there actions and lack of actions, have shown you to not be worthy.

[Monalisa77]

She sounds similar to my mother lol

[Ms_Facesitter]

Find out WHY she is stressed.

[jackieistired]

She’s going to give you a stroke, break up

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I can see why she is stressed too.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

Break up with her.

Problem solved.

[thearchjoker]

Leave her

[LiamJHayden]

Dump her