Can you still be an incel if you have already had a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Like I have had 1 relationship that ended but I feel like I still will never get another girlfriend

Updates

1 y

So I just want to clarify I have called myself this no one has ever called me this

[UnicornLobotomy]

I consider myself a lovecel, I feel like I’ll never be able to love a woman like I did my first again. She really screwed me up. Took the kids and half my income potential, you know the same old tired story and she tried to take my life and inheritance as well.

Im a romantic, I wanted the hallmark lovestory kids and white picket fence picture perfect family. Instead I became an asshole. Now I’m married and I feel like a homewrecker that doesn’t love her as much as she loves me. I can’t get that old feeling back.

Love is more important than sex, family/having kids together and raising them together is more important and fulfilling than just having a girlfriend.

Humans are sexually dimorphic, man is the default protector and provider. So this term incel is just a self-depreciating misnomer. If you adopt a cold logical standpoint on life, relationships are transactional and prostitution is a thing therefore, pull your head out of your ass. No pity party is worth a penny.

Stop focusing so much and obsessing so much about it and better yourself

[hahahmm]

No. Even if by 'relationship' you don't mean sex! I think the whole term is silly! Some women act like a guy getting sex is the Olympic gold medal of social activity and as if women collectively decide to shut one guy down and he just can't get any women no matter what he tries ("involuntarily"/ forced not to get any). It's nonsense. Any guy on earth can pay a hooker. Pretty much all of those IG models, Only Fans models and many of the women online these days are hookers but don't like to be called that. Way more of them than there were when I was your age tho. Or even if we exclude all the hookers, did you ever see a woman who repulsed you so much that you wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole? Did you ever have some fugly chick interested in you but you rejected her? Did you ever know for sure that some woman you'd never get with would let you... ? Then you aren't an incel. You're just a guy who has standards.

Calling you an incel is like calling a woman "involuntarily burger less" because she chooses not to buy burgers.

[Asker]

Yeah I wasn’t sure if I fit the definition because I just was in a relationship last year

[hahahmm]

Here's the thing... some (feminists) women & (simp) dudes call other dudes "incel" because you say something they don't like. It has nothing to do with reality. It's all about trying to control what you say or shut down your ability to express yourself. Just ignore it.

[Asker]

So I was calling myself this I have never been called this by anyone

[hahahmm]

Okay & where did you get it from? Part of you is being a simp and calling yourself this. Stop it.

[Asker]

How am I not one

[hahahmm]

I gave you all the info you need above. If you still believe you are one then that's your choice!

[PBandJ_Nerd]

People can be an incel at any part of their life. But I feel like those of us that are young might fall prey to the incel thinking.

[Anonymous]

Only a real loser would choose to be an incel.

[Asker]

No one chooses this it’s based off lived experiences

[Dongie]

You're not helping

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the romance rollercoaster, isn't it thrilling? 😜 Let's get something straight, love—a single relationship in your rearview doesn't chain you to "incel" status for the long haul. Relationships are like seasons; they come and go, each one teaching us something new. Feeling like you're never going to have another girlfriend is like saying you'll never enjoy another slice of pizza because the last one didn't leave you satisfied. Come on, we both know there's a flavor out there just waiting to tantalize your taste buds! Remember, every Romeo has his day, and yours is just around the corner. Keep your chin up, your heart open, and let's get you back in the game of love. Who knows? You might just find yourself overwhelmed with options! 😘💕

[Twalli]

Incest deel that all girls are shit and that it doesn't matter how a girl is treated. She'll only go after the most physically attractive guys regardless of how those guys treat them. They believe the only reason they're single is because of girls.

[UnicornLobotomy]

So they are poor, unfit, objectively unattractive, bitter, obsessed about it, and stupid for even calling themselves the term.

[Twalli]

@UnicornLobotomy they use it as armor. They see themselves as good guys who are simply not picked because of their looks. They assume that all girls care about is looks. Since they'll never have the looks, they see no point in respecting girls. This creates an ironic issue, wheer their view of women keep them from getting one. A girl will find them somewhat attractive, eventually. However, no girl will want to be with a guy who disrespects her unless he's extremely rich or an Adonis. Most guys who are in relationships and married aren't extremely rich or an Adonis.

[Asker]

So I was in a relationship and the thing is women do want to be with guys who disrespect them I treated this girl polar opposite to how her ex treated her he sexually manipulated her and probably did other horrible shit. I never called her any foul names, was by her side when she got sick multiples times during the relationship. Always had food ready for her when she got home. Took her on spontaneous dates, got her surprise tickets to one of her favorite shows when I found out it was coming to town. So with all that I got called a bitch, nuisance, too boring. Like her mother was calling me a son in law because in the eyes of some people I had established myself as husband material but with this girl she would constantly compare me to her abusive ex and missed traits he had.

[Twalli]

There needs to be some excitement in a relationship.

[Asker]

So because i wasn’t beating on her or sexually manipulating her that’s not exciting. I took her to fun events that supposed to be exciting we went to an indoor amusement park, we had movie dates, we went to the zoo if none of this is excitement then I clearly have no working concept of a relationship

[Twalli]

It's different for each couple

[Asker]

I don’t think that’s it she wanted someone should could beat on and abuse which is why when she was doing it there was never an issue but when I stand up to it she wants to break up

[LoveHotGrillz]

Of course. Wear the incel badge and title proudly. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't an incel.

[Asker]

I will I’m back to women laughing at me and avoiding me feels like normal

[LoveHotGrillz]

Nice, that's great to hear! Stay normal bro. Good luck

[BarryLiverstone]

What’s normal about being an incel?

[LoveHotGrillz]

@BarryLiverstone Are you dumb? Normal is relative. To him, that's his normal state of being. That's how his life normally plays out.

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope I’m not dumb. And that’s not normal to him because he compares himself to others and thinks it’s not the norm for girls to laugh at guys

[LoveHotGrillz]

@BarryLiverstone then English must not be your first language because you just aren't getting it

[BarryLiverstone]

I learned Spanish in highschool but grew up in Florida. So learned English first.

I understand you feel like his normal is a pathetic incel who doesn’t value himself or has ambition.

I think he wants more than what he has experienced in life so far

[LoveHotGrillz]

@BarryLiverstone Jesus bro, he's just asking if he still qualifies as an incel despite him having 1 grillfriend in the past. Where did he say he wants more in life? He just wanted one answer to one question. Stop overthinking it

[BarryLiverstone]

Dam. That’s sad if he’s just needed validation for being an incel. Ok peace

[LoveHotGrillz]

@BarryLiverstone Peace brother

[UnicornLobotomy]

@BarryLiverstone No, you were right. Its a self-deprecating term. Another misnomer that makes no sense and I believe its a just another anti-human anti-masculine propaganda social engineering term coined by the left. It is pitiful and non-sensical. Of course he wants more, ti think other wise is stupid.

[mobiusforniner]

Yes. It means you didn’t learn or grow from your experience.

[Asker]

She was abusive

[Asker]

She broke up because I wouldn’t let her beat on me and call me bad names

[Billlewis]

Of course, and that's exactly what I am. However, I consider myself a 'good' incel, and I've learned to embrace my permanently celibate lifestyle.

[JasonBD7]

If you are not having sexual relations with women and are actively trying to, you’re an incel


If you aren’t it’s just a dry spell

[Asker]

So this is a lot of detail my apologies but in my previous relationship she went down on me and I did the same to her

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Give your definition of incel please, else this is misleading lol

[Asker]

I honestly don’t know I feel like one but I have did things some haven’t done such as hold hands kiss and eat pussy

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

what is an incel to you?

[Asker]

Someone who isn't able to get women

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

it isn't the definition of incel at all lol !!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

there is no definition for someone not able to get women, because it's not a category, your category is man That's all.

[DrPepper12]

You will! Gotta be vulnerable and risk it if you want the reward

[Asker]

Being vulnerable got me played

[DrPepper12]

Get back in the saddle or it will consume you

[Yannae]

I believe so. If you keep breaking yourself down you're that self fulfilling prophecy because that lack of confidence pushes everyone away.

[Asker]

When I have made myself vulnerable I have been fully taken advantage of by some women who rejected me
But kept me around cause I treated her well then the ultimate mindfuck that lasted a few years where I thought I was in a loving relationship but it was only about the resources she was getting and making her finances easier

[Yannae]

Yeah me and my SO went on cheat dates. A drink or a pizza kind of dates, budget level. Only after being together did I start taking her to restaurants. She doesn't ask to be taken out, she doesn't expect gift, she not that kind of girl. Never get with a material girl. Financial stability is important for sure but I only help her when she actually needs it not wants it. If she could manage before we got together, she can manage now.

[Asker]

So she would drop comments here and there that sometimes it just easier living with someone me knowing full well what she’s saying and I would push her to elaborate but she wouldn’t. We co signed on a car and almost immediately she took it as her own and I only got rides every now and then and mostly still had to catch the bus.

[Yannae]

Well at least you can learn from this.

[Anonymous]

If you mean involuntary celebrate, anyone can be that as it's forced upon them.
If you are referring to a lifestyle or community, that's a choice you make.

[Dongie]

My man, don't give it up. You can find someone. Why do you think you can't?

[Anonymous]

Doesn't help that the last relationship was a sexless relationship and I feel like my only true relationship was a four-month situationship back in 2017

[LiamJHayden]

Of course one can now be involuntarily celibate after having had previous relations.

[OddBeMe]

Are wanting to stay an incel?