Can you have a committed relationship without the intention to ever live together or get married?

[Anonymous]

Is that even possible?

Updates

+1 y

I was more thinking about doing couply thing together and sharing the everyday life. Myself, I would find it unfullfilling, but maybe others wouldn't?

[Walt832]

That is the reason I broke up with her. Everything goes well. Then I brought the conversation, this took awhile but excited we could live together without being apart, be in our own working in our relationship.

Well, i explained and listens. I was like okay she taking the info. Until she says, "no, my parents wouldn't allow it, to live together i must be married".

I was shocked, then i remembered my friends mom son that same answer was given. Guess what? Oh hell she change quick. Slowly the truth came out what was her WIFE when she was single. Old friends know her as running into guys in the club and offering for intimate 💵. This dude fell in love how she move in the bed 🤦‍♂️. Marries her and lives together along with his family. She doesn't cook she wants a servant to do the cooking. Guess who? Godmother. Even her clothing. Wife family are on top at their house making sure she being treated like a queen.

Quick that story came into me. I told my ex we should hold on. Then her friend calls me and says, "i gotta tell you the truth". Oh man I was like "shit, spit it out". She says, "she had a wild life, since we know each other very well naked".

Why we know each other naked because entire sisters 😆 well i am hot okay gotta admit. They wanted to play a naked game. Sooooo we turn all naked 😂 it's college games but we never ever had sex that we truly respect.

My friend is so close spits out, my ex was a wild life and drunk ass. She stopped after she stepped in a church. Convinced her to be different but she still had desires. She kept an ex just to have sex manage her urges. Then she catch something and went to the doctor she was relieved from it. Her parent found out. Now her parents are being strict.

That turn everything. I even went to the doc even i wear condoms with her. I am all negative. Gave more time still havee more negative.

Ex asks me, well? I straight up went to her parents house. Broke up with her but before I even mentioned it. I asked if she previously catched something. She stay silently and mad 💢. Knew who told me. She confirmed, yes.

I won't risk it specially she still having ex boyfriend connections.

Ever since then. As soon i hear female says we must marry first. Quick break up. Sorry if you are not those type of females but my experience than I had ran into they have secret stories and attached to something. I understand we are not perfect but dang that far. Nope.

[errorgoodnameunfound]

YES.

Marriages are often lies anyways. I'd say 40%+ end in divorce, but it's likely under-reported due to the fact that less marriages often mean less kids, therefore less people to tax and governments wouldn't like that. In addition, there may be stats about marriages, less about divorce rates, but nearly NOTHING on couples that borderline got divorced. Think about couples "renewing vows" and such. You think NONE of them have things to hide? Please. The only ones that really know what happens in marriages are the the couple themselves.

You really believe most couples DON'T hide the bad/arguments/yelling/etc. in order to instead show the better side?

RIght.

And no, this isn't bitterness. This is from hard, pure observation. I know many couples. Married, borderlines divorced, actually divorced, broken up, etc. I've gotten girls and guys asking me for relationship advice, and 9/10 times, it's about red flags as well as couples that are either already married or intend to marry.

Don't think of it so much as "limited commitment" but instead "maximum freedom" and "room to breathe." Commitment means less freedom, rules, and pressure, which many simply don't have the discipline to do. Hell, I'd say 35%+ of all couples have INSANE issues on commitment, yet unfortunately, they often multiply/intend to do so the most.

[Xoxocutekitty]

It is possible. It's easier to live together and not be married, because both parties can firmly agree that marriage is just a piece of paper, later to be quickly changed when they encounter legal problems like hospital visitation rights, joint debt, co-signer issues, and creating large purchases together. For most aspects of life, having the married piece of paper doesn't matter. It matters more when their is wealth, assets, and even debts to protect.

I think not committing to ever living together is more difficult, BUT it is actually fairly common for older couples. I think when you've already had the marriage and kids and like your house a certain way, you don't want to freely give that up. I know a few older women that divorced because their husbands wouldn't do a lick of housework, even the 'manly' tasks like mow the lawn or take out the trash or fix the sink. Unfortunately, when you go back into the dating pool, you're still getting someone else's ex of "old school man who watches the game instead of helping out". Traditional roles aren't bad, and if the woman is okay with doing the cooking/cleaning, then she still needs someone willing to do the car and lawn stuff. As men get older, their outside 'chores' become fewer and further between while cooking/laundry/house cleaning still persist.

Plus, both divorcees are often gun-shy about tying themselves to someone they've known for like 2 years, only have then "inherit" full-time, live in caretaking responsibilities.

[aliali8]

Honestly, I don't see a relationship where two people have no intentions of living together or getting married together , as a serious committed relationship.

I see that as a shallow, unintegrated relationship where both parties have other more important priorities such as independence and self freedom than love.

Believe it or not, if someone is truly a top priority, you will WANT to live with them. You will want to be tied down by them. You can't imagine being with anyone else. You can't imagine them being with anyone else. You will want to be around them 24/7.

I can call that a relationship but I see it as a very shallow, unintegrated relationship where both parties just want to enjoy each other , not commit to each other.

The ultimate form of commitment is marriage. Folks who do not want to marry , just want an easy escape route when the relationship gets tough. It shows a lack of willingness to stick by during the tough times.

[coachTanthony]

--------------If that is what the both of you want I am sure it's possible but finding two people on planet earth who want this and are interested in each other is very rare.

[OlderAndWiser]

I can't understand why you would want to be committed to a relationship with one person and not want to eventually live with them or be married.

[MzAsh]

I suppose you could but I’d be very curious about the motivations behind that decision. Both partners should be comfortable with that idea.

[Smashingdoozy]

Yup it happens. A friend of mines mom got remarried but it didn't work out, they ended up separating a couple years later. But they've recently realized they love each other they just don't think they're meant to be married or live together so they just are together and spend time together when they want to.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea people “date” all the time. I know so many people who have gone 8 years committed without having married. Most live together, some dont. But the reason why most are even still together is because one person in that relationship is being mislead into thinking they’ll get the ring one day

[serious]

It is possible but seems unlikely as the topic of either living together or marriage will eventually come up at some time.

Some societal pressure to get married may also be there depending on the country ( eg India or some countries in Asia etc)

[ohshee]

Well when you say committed relationship that goes for being a friend too so yes but as a partner as a mate no I need to have physical touch I need for my lips in touch their lips I need to feel the caress of their lips, of their touch I need to feel that heartbeat on my chest as I hold her I need to be able to look into her eyes never speak to me without saying one word

[Midnight_Kiss]

I was with my ex for nine years and we never lived together, married or had kids.

I would actually prefer if my future "Mr Right" bought the house next rather than moving in with me, there aren't children involved so I see no reason to live together.

[kamalravi25]

Marriage is just for the sake of society, so that nobody questions your relationship.
Marriage is divine but if there is no love then what's the use of such marriage.
Love is beyond marriage and commitment.
Ultimate purpose of love is not finally being with your lover. It is giving peace and happiness to your lover.
Yes it is possible to be in a commited relationship without the intention of marriage.

[modelUN242]

I would date only to get married as the goal. I don't date for fun. My parents are still married and I intend to get married as well. I see it as the ultimate form of commitment.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@modelun242
What makes you think those who are in a relationship and don't want to get married are doing it just for fun?

[modelUN242]

@MysteriousDarkness I didn't say that. I said I had an ultimate goal. I don't want to comment on those couples anyways.

[Kabluie]

Yep, plenty of people are married and don't nest together, or non-married but are nesting partners. It could be their jobs, lifestyle, and the like. Every situation is unique. Non-mono/poly relationships for example. Partner A might be your nesting partner, but partner B you don't live with or ever intend to, maybe because they are intentionally solo, or nesting with someone else, etc.

[shade_19]

I mean if it's for a particular time then yes
U need to be committed, be loyal for that period of time and line them with all ur soul and heart
And when u feel u need to move them leave
Theee is no guarantee of love anyways
It's these moments that make life better
Like i was committed with my ex for 4yrs , we were in 3yr long distance relationship and Still loved each other
We r now best friends but we respect and admire the time we spent

[lucas262]

I said the only way I'd get married is me her and a preacher. I'm not signing any thing.

people will say I'm married I'm name only, but to me, marriage is a covenant between us and God. Not a contract between us and the state.

The risk is too great. And this isn't a common law Marriage state.

[The_Maphio]

I'm living proof of that. 16 years with the same woman, living together and next year we are going to become parents. No marriage, nor intention to get into any of that either.

[lightbulb27]

Yes. Not sure why never live together. Its a question of the two people. At some point in life we need support... nice to have someone on your side in this world.

[Ninani]

Of course! I can't stand to live with other people, but that doesn't mean I can't have meaningful relationships.

[LogicalGal123]

It is possible. Many people have done the long term relationship without any marriage or living together.

[Dontaaa]

Without getting married, yes.

Without living with each other, ever?

I don't know man, that sounds kinda rough. I don't think I could do that.

[MahdiA]

Think about what you said.. if you don’t wanna at least get married, then you probably don’t wanna spend your lifetime with him, so you don’t like him 100%

[Adam1978]

Sure why not. It's just a lower commitment level, should be easier to commit to something like that.

[Browneye57]

What is all this gobbledy-gook? Tell us how all this works?
How can you be committed to someone if you're not with them?

[Ms_Vanderquack]

If you aren’t going to commit to a relationship marriage isn’t going to change that.

[Anonymous]

So you left each other easily when ou find someone better?
Such a unfair and unfaithful thing just have sex

[Somoneelse]

i believe its posible. But way more difficult than normally

[DJ1991]

NO, the person you Love you will want to give all of yourself to

[worldscolide]

Friend, sure, Romantic partner/wife absolutely not.

[shalt]

If that's NOT a mutual agreement... then there is absolutely 0 reason to date unless specifically USING the S. O.

[BobawesFett]

Absolutely. As long as there's open communication and understanding and a firm belief that it is the best choice and decision then it is absolutely okay

[Anonymous]

Of course it's possible - but most women will never stand for it.

[007kingifrit]

no, there is no way to be committed like that. there needs to be an end goal

[William42]

I think not from my experiences in life. People change and if your commitment nay change too over time.

[Anonymous]

Maybe that's the way it has to be most people are savages cannot live together.

[youssef99jos]

For that in my culture no sex before marriage, if you want have sex with your girlfriend you have to marry him this for protect women from players

[Anonymous]

i will never going to get married i dont belive in marriage at all but if i am going to be with you thats for life for sure

[shadowplex]

Yes. It's very possible. Often times, I think that marriage can even add tension to a relationship.

[Elena_the_Star]

Yes, I am in one right now.

[RubyonRails]

No I don’t want a live like that

[Hanzyxw]

90% of the population is doing that right now

[Exterminatore]

It is possible but not advisable.

[Shy_Steve]

If it is possible it would be really difficult.

[îR0N_man]

I recently brokeup with her because of this.

[Agape93]

Yeah absolutely

[Jamie05rhs]

Probably not.

[jahaims]

Nope

[Shihab91]

no. ...

[Shivraj12s]

Nope i can not

[In_Trance]

Sure

[Jurriën]

Ofcourse