What's the difference between a relationship and friends with benefits these days?

[Elarra]

The common belief nowadays is that gifts, dates, compliments, etc. that were once the staple of a relationship decades ago are now not required. We're down to the point where each gender is squabbling over who pays on a date when it used to not be a question. But G@Gers don't seem to hesitate to say that you can't have a relationship without sex, otherwise, you're just friends.

Here's the dilemma. In friends with benefits, it's commonly believed to be two people just having sex. No dates, no compliments, no gifts, no anything. However, you can be friends with benefits and only sleep with one person, which is what you would do in a committed relationship, right? It's not uncommon for friends with benefits to actually be friends who hang out often, too. You can care about a friends with benefits. It's not always a hit it and quit it like a booty call type situation.

A relationship with no sex is friends. friends with benefits is a type of relationship that's sex based. But if you can't have a relationship without sex, wouldn't that then be sexed based, as well?

So, in you're own words, how would you differentiate between a real relationship and friends with benefits?

And, yes, before you ask, this is 100% based on G@G questions, Takes, and responses, not the general population as a whole.

[BlueCoyote]

While I agree that there is a certain amount of overlapping, I believe the core difference is love. In a FWB-situation, two people may feel an intimate connection of friendship and they may get along well but these things are not comparable to real love in my opinion. I have two best friends - one female and one male - and I've known them for 13 and 21 years respectively. That's a long time and I can say I have a very close relationship with both of them. They know almost everything about me and I trust them. In fact, I have even collected some same-sex sexual experiences with my best guy friend when we were teenagers. Yet, neither of these relationships comes close to what I have with my girlfriend whom I have "only" known for 6 years.
My friends are people I like to hang out and go traveling with. This also applies to my girlfriend but she is so much more to me than my friends could ever be. She's the person who is willing to accept big sacrifices to be with me. She's the person who neglected her exams and friends to come to the hospital every day when I was going through a very dangerous surgery. She's also the one I can live under the same roof with 24/7 without us getting on each others' nerves. That wouldn't be possible with my friends long-term. And perhaps most importantly, she's the one I want to found a family with - something that undeniably changes your life profoundly.

So all in all, I would say that short relationships can in some cases be quite similar to FWB-relationships. However, once you make it to a few years of committed relationship where sex becomes less important and compatibility on a personal level becomes more important, things look quite different. Obviously, I'm also just a guy and this is a personal opinion but I believe most elderly people who've been married for 40 or 50 years would agree with me. Long-term committed relationships are work-intensive. Even if love comes naturally, it doesn't always stay naturally. Keeping the flame burning means to always show your love and appreciation to your partner, whether this be through gifts, compliments or other means. Otherwise it doesn't work. There's much more to this kind of relationship than "I find you hot, you find me hot and we happen to both like Star Wars and Harry Potter".

[super147]

A relationship is where you care about someone and commit to monogamy. That would be the normal convention. You give exclusivity and you invest in each other, emotionally and physically. That is the case until such time as you break up, that's the unwritten contract.

Friends with benefits may act like they're in a relationship some or even all of the time but without the unwritten contract that requires exclusivity. You are not a couple, you are friends who do things together and one of those things is sex. You are not obliged to be faithful.

That's my initial thoughts on this.

[ebbyeb]

Well, I'd actually have to disagree with some of this. A friends with benefits is called "friends with benefits" for a reason. You're usually friends with this person, and happen to be comfortable enough to have semi-frequent sex with them. That's the "benefit" factor of it. But yes, it's very common to actually be friends, it's completely different from a booty call. A booty call is just for sex. There's never really an emotional bond made between the participants. It's just simply a relationship for sex. Whereas a romantic relationship is a commitment between two. Even if sex isn't included, you've committed yourself to solely to your partner. Sometimes the partners simply aren't ready for sex, or sometimes they're saving it for after marriage... Whatever the reason is, they've decided to not have sexual relations yet. That doesn't make them any less of a couple or less of being committed to eachother. I mean, we don't live in a perfect world, so cheating occurs all the time, but this is what's typically supposed to happen. So, in a friends with benefits, you could have multiple of this kind of relationship among a wide variety of people, and in a relationship you're simply with one person.

[Sangita93]

In present age both of these terms normally mean – there are sexual activities between the two. Friends with benefits usually mean two friends – girl and guy who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. It is understood that they have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment. The benefits are good, long, flirty conversations; make-out sessions with no commitment; sex without commitment; etc. If they are sharing a room – it is understood that they are friends by day, sex partners by night – almost like a married couple.
Relationship is the state of being connected or related by blood or marriage; kinship or mutual dealings, connections, or including or without emotional or sexual affair or liaison. Relationship between a girl and a guy usually mean there is a physical and emotional relationship between two who may have casual sex or a near-sexual relationship without necessarily demanding or expecting the extra commitments of a more formal romantic relationship. Individuals in a relationship may engage in casual sex. It is the way in which two (or more people or groups) regard and behave towards each other.

[pineappleshortcare]

I've been in friends with benefits situations that were much kinder than my "real" relationships - they had affection, actual intimacy, etc.

BUT - the big difference is commitment. Your friends with benefits can bail at any minute. Yeah, your boyfriend, girlfriend or even husband/wife can too - but it's implied when you decide to be "serious" that you're going to try your hardest to make it work. friends with benefits will eventually fall apart - someone meets someone, someone catches feelings and needs distance, someone moves away or otherwise becomes inaccessible. And it falling apart with relative ease is kind of part of the unspoken contract.

[likelyOK]

This is the part that I did not think about. Bc me and this one guy were exclusive and going on actual dates and never just having sex, but in the end he did not show and clear closure or properly end it.

[NyomiMcClinton]

This is solely my opinion on this matter.

I feel that a real relationship consist of both of you understand that their is more of a commitment and obligation to be there for each other, you both make constant contact with each other express concern about the other well-being, you both are thinking both long term with being with each other. Now a friends with benefits is more so the both of you understanding that is just sex involved and at times it can be cuddling. There is no obligation to call or text or even express concern about the other well being. The only communication will be when it time to have sex. Thats it and thats all.

[MrOracle]

The reason you're asking this question is because you are female, and females tend to have trouble separating sexual interest from romantic interest - but they are two different things and guys definitely see them as separate issues. Plus, guys have sexual (ONLY!) interest for 10-20 times more women than they have romantic interest in (obviously they still have sexual interest with the women they have romantic interest in). Once you recognize the difference, it makes much more sense.

Still, here are some handy definitions:

Friends: you enjoy each other's company, but there is no sexual OR romantic interest.

Fuck Buddies: You have sex together when it's convenient for you. Generally, you only see each other when you want sex, and you leave afterwards. There is no "friendship" to speak of. You don't hang out or do things together. No romantic interest.

FWB: Like Fuck Buddies, except you might also be friends too, and hang out occasionally or do non-sexual things together. No romantic interest.

Dating: Friendship, sexual, and romantic interest, in most cases with the hope of a long-term relationship.

Also, it's very important to understand that friends with benefits is >>>NOT<<< a stepping stone on the way to a relationship - rather, it's a completely different destination heading off in an entirely different direction. So, if you get to the "fork in the road" when you are deciding if you want to be friends with benefits or date, you'd better be sure, because once you start heading down one fork or the other, there's no path to the other destination - you're committed.

[ShortCircuit]

I know you already addressed this, but I have to say I disagree on your point: Exclusivity is never required in a friends with benefits relationship. In fact, it is rarely even mentioned. If you decide that you only want to sleep with your friends with benefits, chances are they are not reciprocating that. On the other hand, relationships always imply exclusivity unless it is explicitly stated others (open relationship). Which leads me to my next point...

You might say "Well if exclusivity is the only thing that differentiates between a relationship and an friends with benefits, then friends with benefits is no different than an *open* relationship." Wrong again. There is one more thing aside from exclusivity that differentiates between a relationship and a friends with benefits - and that is non-sexual physical affection, ie hugging, hand holding, kissing, cuddling. A lot of those things are expected in relationships, but frowned upon in friends with benefits - based on the notion that performing such actions can lead to catching feelings - which is what most friends with benefits are trying to avoid.

[Elarra]

I never said it had to be exclusive, just that it could be.

[ShortCircuit]

Yeah, I know. What I'm saying is that ut is typically not supposed to be.

[Discovery98]

Friends with benefits is just that really. At the core you are friends. Sex is the ONLY real change. You don't have to be exclusive. You can choose to only have one partner but you can't make the other person do that. It lets you blow off sexual energy without worrying about all the strings attached to a full relationship where you only ever have sex with one person and are expected to buy that person romantic gifts and ask them to go on different romantic dates with you around whatever town you live in. The difference is all in how deep your relationship goes. Sometimes friends with benefits breaks down or evolves because one or both people respectively decide they want to go further. A stable exclusive relationship usually involves sex but it involves a lot more. Use a candy analogy. If sex is chocolate in my analogy and peanut butter is all the things you need for a complete relationship then a Hershey bar is friends with benefits and a Reese cup is a full relationship. Both require chocolate but Reeses have more involved in them.

[UnknownReflection]

To be honest the whole thing gives me stress and confuse me. I keep it simple.
First of all, for me, i can have a relationship with no sex. That's called love. Love is not sex. Sex is not love.
Furthermore, on the primary objective;
1. Relationship: A relationship is about a commitment, a bound, this is about partnership. This is about one soul in two bodies, it's about supreme love, living, breathing and surviving together. It's a promising attachment and a unbreakable emotional connection.
2. Friends with benefits: When i don't have a girlfriend, fiance and i am not married. Simply, when i don't have a certain commitment anywhere else. Me and a close friend of mine might decide to involve sexually. For me, it must be close friends. Because i won't share such a privacy, if there be no likeness, trust and respect in between. I can't get in there with a cold body. Even if there is a sexual relation, we as friends must be in a level to care for each other, have each other's back, respect and trust each other in order to move further for such a personal feeling. The whole thing would be about the "Agreement" we make to take care of each other sexually and take a sexual adventure together. This still happens in manner of friendship, the commitment of a relationship is different than friendship. We are friends, the only thing happens, we add a sexual adventure to our journey.

The only fine line between these two elements are, friends with benefits can guided and end up with a relationship itself.

[Octavius]

On G@G here, I think it's about peoples fear of showing vulnerability. In terms of the whole date paying thing both men and women see paying as a sign of interest so the person paying is displaying interest. If that interest isn't reciprocated people feel hurt. They opened up who they are on the inside and got rebuffed. So I think everyone is just terrified to show their desire to be with someone outside of sex. With this they can get the bond without in a sense making themselves vulnerable and then through sex engage whether the person they are with actually wants to spend quality time with them. The casual sex is seen as everyone is putting in the same amount of effort early on so there's no power dynamic.

Or maybe it's something else I don't know I completely made that all up...

[the-truth]

a big difference, the girl I'm with, with benefits is not good enough to be my girlfriend. and things would never change. all the ones i had fell in love with me, i ran a mile. they were stupid, you don't fall in love with someone who would not want a relationship with you. such a turn off. it was just sex, if you got jelous cause i wanted to have more girls, that would be silly, as soon as i have cum, you can go, i don't want to hang out with you. and if you play your cards right, ill stay with you until i find a girlfriend

a relationship for me is to people who both agree that their happy to be with each other and let the love grow. big difference.

[XOXOME16]

a relationship is with someone who you want to be with for a long time and probably forever. i don't believe in multi person relationship so a relationship to me has commitment and love and everything like that. friends with benefits is just a friend you're sexual with. there's a big difference and you could've figured it out yourself

[Jockfulcrop]

A relationship is based off of commitment. you care enough about a person to call them yours and do things for one another, you many even see them as a future husband or wife. When it comes to friends with benefits, it's just a set of friends that are friends that have sex. no commitment, no strings attached, just sexual pleasure

[bedroomdweller]

And you are basing yourself on what a bunch of basement dwellers are telling you... don't be so dramatic, relationships are relationships, as they involve commitment, and friends with benefits is just sex with someone you have no interest for romantic involvement but lust. One, while cool and all, can be pain in the ass and the other is just fun.

[Elarra]

I wasn't basing myself on anything. Just throwing the question back a G@Gers who seem to think this way.

Maybe you're the one being dramatic. Yeah, I think you are.

[bedroomdweller]

"Just throwing the question back a G@Gers who seem to think this way."

Exactly what I was talking about LOL

[Elarra]

"And you are basing yourself on what a bunch of basement dwellers are telling you"

That's actually the main point of your argument, which has nothing to with what I replied to you with. Reading isn't one of your strengths, is it?

[bedroomdweller]

So let me this straight...
1) You based this question on the things you've seen in gag, while making some general claims based on what you've read.

"And, yes, before you ask, this is 100% based on G@G questions, Takes, and responses, not the general population as a whole"

.2) So what you do is try to get responses from the same group of people you've heard this from.

How am I wrong again? XD

[Avish007]

In realtionship people think for each other feel for each other but in friends with benifits people think of their own. Its like using each other for your own sake.

[BlueCoyote]

Yes, I think that is a good way to formulate it :-)

[redxiii74]

The one staple a friends with benefits is you're not exclusive you're just friends if you only choose to sleep with one person then that's your call but you can't put the same restriction on your friend so sleeping with multiple people possibly in a responsible fashion condoms testing whatever and having open and frank discussions with your other sexual partners is what makes friends with benefits completely different

[HarrisonWells]

personally, I would do all the previous requirements for dating except for who pays. I'll cover the first date but when we've actually decided to be exclusive I'll expect her to take me on dates too. friends with benefits to me means friends that have sex from time to time while a relationship means much more to me

[Lopezz1999]

Usually, a friends with benefits is a short lived time period where two people have a lust for each other. If it goes on for too long, one person just about always becomes too attached to the other and it crashes.

[mia7675]

In my opinion, the real difference is on the commitment. When you're in a relationship you've officially made the commitment while when you have friends with benefits solely with one person ( like if you were in a relationship) you're avoiding that commitment.

[likelyOK]

So true I was involved with one that involved exclusivity but no commitment

[tattooedhandfet]

There isn't a difference. To me, a friend with benefits, is a relationship. Who wouldn't want their partner to also be their friend?

[GeekGirl_Josy]

In a friends with benefits relationship you just care about the pleasure you give eachother, just friends. No romanticness, no dates

[Warmapplecrumble]

Gifts and dates are something we both like but can't afford. Roof over my head, his dedication and commitment, intimacy, food and respect is more important.

[SarahsSummer]

In a relationship, two people have sex and are committed to each other. In a friends with benefits, two people have sex but are also free to see anyone else they want.

[Dragan]

A hundred times I have said that sex should not be a sport. Sex is a part of relationship. friends with benefits is human vibrator. Plaything. Relationship and sex. Why anyone fleeing from relationship, First relationship, than sex.

[coolbreeze]

Friends with benefits you spend no money and it's just sex only
While a relationship you invest time, money and sex into it.