What is the difference between being lovers and friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

Some people talk it like two different terms

[gray_sailor]

Simple...
Surprised you don't see it...

The difference between lovers and friends with benefits is...

LOVE!

Lovers have feelings for each other.

friends with benefits are not supposed to have feeling for each other. In fact, if one partner in a friends with benefits relationship starts to have feelings, then the etiquette of the relationship demands they let the other know. That way they can either:

- agree to change the nature of the relationship
OR
- they can stop for a while until feelings subside

For lovers, feeling in love is the goal.

For friends with benefits, love is an obstacle to be avoided.

[Asker]

So then all normal bf/gf couples are lovers at the same time

[gray_sailor]

Yes, that's correct, provided they have started having sex.

"Yesterday we were just bf/gf, after last night we are now lovers too!"

Make sense?

[Asker]

So if a bf/gf do not have sex because sex does not make a couple but they are just going steady for sometime. What are they then if they are not havign sex cause sex is secondary.

[gray_sailor]

Boyfriend & Girlfriend

That relationship does not assume sex. Although, for many people, it does include sex.

[Asker]

Let me put an example. If a guy and a girl met for the first time, they have some chemistry and lets say everything needs to start from the beginning and they start to become friends (not a couple yet) and they hang out as friends first for sometime, no sex here (not important though if they are friends) and after some time of hanging out together as friends if they found they are more attracted to one another and want to take the next step like going steady and until that moment they are boyfriend and girlfriend with no sex (sex imay not be important in this case) What are they then? I mean I have seen men and women who are couple for many years and not necessarily they have sex but they are girlfriend and boyfriend.

[gray_sailor]

They are friends until they share romantic feelings.

Then they become boyfriend & girlfriend.

Once they have sex, then they become lovers too.

If they marry, they become husband & wife.

If they live as husband & wife but don't legally marry, then they are partners.

Any of these pairings (except the initial friendship) may also be refered to as a couple.

[Pyrofox]

Lovers are holding hands kissing and happy. Friends with benefits are just there for the sex and the friendship but nothing really more

[Asker]

If you say lovers are holding hands, kissing and happy then you are talking about a normal bf/and girlfriend couple so what is the difference there with being lovers and a normal bf/gf couple?

So a bf/gf couple are not friends there? Because there are bf/gf couple who do have sex and are friends and are a couple.

Confusing.

[Pyrofox]

Well Bf/gf couples have the option to make it serious or let go thats the only real difference.

[Asker]

if they make it serious then they are lovers then? but gf/bf couples still hold hands kiss, etc even if they are not serious until they decide to make it serious

[Pyrofox]

yup they have to make it serious to be called lovers going half way is just a sincere fling but not lovers.

[Asker]

and if they do go steady and they been going steady as a normal couple for quite some time what are they then?

[Pyrofox]

Still just a couple unless they already made plans

[reptocarl]

Fwb's is a specific lover with rules

[Anonymous]

lovers.> marraiage
frnds > they help in marriage