What’s the difference between Friends with Benefits and Relationships and why would you prefer one over another?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

For me personally, I don’t even see myself ever considering the 1st option, I know lots of people are cool with it though, I wonder what makes people interested in it. Share your perspective, please.

[caring__1]

When we're young, we tend to seek out long-term relationships. We haven't discovered ourselves, yet, so it becomes easier to grow together. It's more common for older people to have discovered who they are and what works best for them. Older people tend to get set in their ways, because of these discoveries, and less likely to give up on what works to experiment with other options.

Generally, friends with benefits are actually just fuck buddies for young people. Those who seek out these relationships tend to be self-serving and don't want any limitations in their lives. The focus is primarily on using the other for personal gain.

For older people, the emphasis is more on the friendship aspect. They want an intimate connection with someone else, yet they don't want to add discomfort by pressuring them to give up their comfort zone. Unlike friends with benefits for younger people, this tends to be a much more respectful relationship, based on adding to a person's life, not taking anything away.

[dynamicyandere]

For me, sex builds emotional attachment.


So, if I’m going to have it, I want it to mean something and for it to contribute to something—like strengthening a long term relationship.


Friends with benefits is basically having acquaintances that you can go to for sex, with no strings attached, no relationship responsibilities, etc.


For the friends with benefits situation to not evolve into a relationship, or unrequited love, both people need to not emotionally attach. It needs to be purely sexual gratification.


Yet, I’ve heard tons of stories of someone eventually ‘catching feelings’ because it’s only natural to begin to form an emotional bond with someone you keep seeing, especially when you’re doing something as intimate as sex, which is naturally designed to bond two people together.


(Oxytocin is released into the bloodstream and it’s the same hormone that aids the bonding between a mother and their child.)


Someone is going to ‘catch’ feelings, given enough time.


And for those who don’t, they’ve successfully severed love from sex and are able to have emotionally detached sex.


But, ironically, the most satisfying sex is sex that is filled with passion and strong emotions.


So, in my opinion, it’s better to invest in a strong relationship with great sexual chemistry than to fear the responsibilities of a relationship and settle for mediocre disconnected sex with that doesn’t lead to anything in the future.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am unable to make difference between love and sex. For me they are closely related to each other. So, that would never work for me. Isn’t sex a love language?

I agree with you and I am the same.

[dynamicyandere]

Yes, and love and sex SHOULD be closely related to each other. I believe that’s how love and sex is meant to work. I believe that’s the natural order. And to sever love from sex is unnatural.

And yes. Physical touch is a love language. It’s a powerful way that love is felt and expressed. And sex is the most physically intimate thing someone can do with another person.

[Dinklex3]

For myself, friends with benefits is just that. A friend that you’re sexually intimate with. No committed relationship. You spend time together, not just a “fuck buddy”.

Its great for when you don’t want an actual relationship at the moment or see no point in it.
I was military and OCONUS my whole career. You’re always in different points in your tour than others. I don’t do long distance so a great option is just friends with benefits until you settle down. You never know what’s going to happen or who you’re going to meet at your next base.

[OlderAndWiser]

Some people don't want commitment or obligation. For others, commitment and obligation and not simply something they will tolerate, but it's something they actually want. So the choice is very clear.

I wouod not want to be having a sexual relationship with a girl, enjoying time with her, and then one day, she says, "This is our last time, because there's another guy I want to start fucking."

[Christoff92]

In a relationship I have one mate which can spend a lot of time with, get to know. Her honesty and personal traits are everything want from her. Pretty face, nice body is to me a bonus.

Friends with benefits. I get to see countless of ladies with personal traits that can be a match or not. Just see her because she's hot but not look at again her personality and honesty.

Most relationships to me don't work out because it ain't really her but her family's that can pressure her to be such a person towards me.

Like example my friends wife's son got married to a pakistani women from a muslim family. Eventually converted to islam. But what shocking is that they approve their daughter to be with him. Accepted that he's black. So double standard is in the table. Because many of those cultures are prejudice by the way.

That's why me personally like to see women who are checking me out but without getting oppressed by their families.

Friends with benefits get to know many women and learn how they are. By being a pure gentleman, noble, full of confidence, and so 😊

[Finchie40]

Nowadays I prefer FWB’s mainly because it gives her and I time to really see the big picture before jumping into a committed relationship, , Most people jump into a relationship because they are infatuated with each other and don’t really look at the big picture and then eventually they might get bored of you and than want nothing to do with you anymore , FWB’s kind of eliminates the full strings of a committed relationship , basically give you both breathing room while really Getting to know each other , I use to be the type of guy that when I met a beautiful amazing girl I didn’t think anything negative , I treated her the way I wanted to be treated , giving her my heart and love and respect but before I knew it I was being backstabbed or betrayed or cheated on , leaving me with a knife jammed in my heart of not really knowing what I did wrong or why she betrayed me like that? After being cheated on changed my whole perspective of committed relationships, I no longer jump into a committed relationship with a girl until She shows the same respect and love that I am giving to her , the type of girl that has moral values and knows what it means to remove selfishness for each other , Making me her top priority like I do to her , So FWB’s I feel is the best way of really
Getting to know someone before actually committing , hoping her and I are on the same path of commitment but we never really
Know what someone’s true intentions are

[Lliam]

The term "friends with benefits" was coined some time in the 1990s. Before that, people just had boyfriends/girlfriends.
I think the term implies casual sex with no strings attached. In the meantime, you are free to have sex with whomever else you want.

Relationships are typically exclusive and infatuated. There is loyalty except in the case of liars and cheaters.

[EricSummer]

Here in Europe we know the term only from the 2011 movie with Mila Kunis and a guy. Did it really exist earlier in the U. S? I read there was a song by Alanis Morisette in the 90s, but did that make it into everyday language?

[EricSummer]

Of course, the concept of "fuck friends" or "fuck buddies" is ancient. I'm just wondering about the history of the term.

[Lliam]

@EricSummer. I actually don't know for sure. I just know it's something recent. It didn't exist when I was dating between1970 and 1994.

[Luopio27]

The first one is all about sex, with no strings attached. The second is about sharing more than just bodies. Its all about love and sharing the entire world together.

[justabuddy]

Friends with benefits really is all about the sex. Some of them actually have a friendship attached. The issue is someone usually always catches feelings.

A relationship has sex in the equation but is not the main variable. You could argue it's an important one, but it's not the main point.

[ProbablyClueless]

Not as many people are cool with it in practice as you might expect. Lots of people talk like they can handle sharing, but most people just aren't built like that.

[Jerre]

A friends with benefits IS A FRIEND you can fuck, no strings attached. Then you can fuck another friends with benefits several days later. A relationship may be someone you know, perhaps a friend, but sex is not necessarily involved.

[exitseven]

I cannot imagine the friends with benefits model would ever work for me.

[WhitneySnow]

I agree with you

[EaterPeter]

Not much for a guy

[EaterPeter]

There may be a thin line between two which most can't see