Do you think a husband/wife who cheats on their partner can be a good parent for their children?

Question

JSkye · Accepted Answer

Complex opinion from a polyamorous girl incoming:

To put it as succinctly as possible: no.

Now, don't get me wrong, you can parent very well and keep the infidelity completely separate from the kids, but at the end of the day, you are being dishonest. So, either you lie to the kids or you are a hypocrite in this scenario (assuming you are trying to raise morally strong children). Also, let's think about what happens if you get caught by whom you are exclusive with: that will cause a massive fallout which will likely, at the very least, dramatically affect the children's lives (either directly or indirectly). Infidelity is like a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off, and it affects everyone's lives in the immediate vicinity.

"And that's different from polyamory how?"

Good question: polyamory (or, ethical non-monogamy) is different because it is open, honest, and will not lead to any sort of fighting or life-changing arguments (assuming each partner went into it genuinely). You can still raise morally strong kids that way without being a hypocrite.

I summary: don't cheat, communicate, and respect your partner (s).

Damaged00 · Accepted Answer

No I don't. Cheating is a very selfish act and being a parent is someone who is very selfless. You have to continously sacrifice for your kids, put their needs above your own. And when you cheat on your spouse not only do you hurt them but you chance breaking up your family with a possible nasty divorce that will affect your kids in a negative way. All because you selfishly acted for a temporary feeling.

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

Parenthood and relationships are two different things. This is why I hate when one parent with custody (usually the woman) tries to punish the other parent for the failed relationship by not allowing them to see their children.

Also, that doesn't mean you have to forgive them, but you need to understand that the wellbeing of the child is more important, especially if they are actually a good parent (and a bad partner). Co-parenting can be professional and emotionless between the two parents, but they have to let the other know about odd behavior at school, new habits, a dip in grades or a flu. They have to communicate, even if they dislike each other, because it's better for the child.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

It depends but many times no. Many cheaters experience dark triad personalities. Many of them aren’t nurturing or protective. They just want to do what they want to do.

Never in a million years would I trust someone who cheats as my friend. Why? If they would do that to the person they’re supposed to love the most imagine what they’re gonna do to me.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the choppy waters of infidelity and parenting, aren't we? 😊 It's like trying to salsa dance on a tightrope. Here's the twist: someone can falter in their romantic relationship and still ace the parenting exam. Love and loyalty in a partnership are different ballgames compared to the unconditional love between a parent and their child. However, and this is a big however, the modeling of respect, trust, and honesty are crucial components of both romantic and familial relationships. So, if a parent cheats, it might not directly impact their parenting skills, but it sure can set a complicated example for the kiddos about relationships. 💔➡️👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Lovebombing the kids with attention and care? Absolutely possible. But let's not forget the subplot of teaching integrity and accountability. It’s all about balance, growth, and possibly a splash of couple's therapy to navigate those tricky waters. 🌊💕

Ladsin2 · Answer

Man probably, woman probably not. Men cheat not looking to end their relationship and don't want to leave after (typically). Women cheat looking for their next partner. A man who cheats may be demonstrating poor impulse control which could be bad for a parent, but may not always be. Sometimes it could be considered spontaneity. When a woman cheats she's dissatisfied in the relationship and ~80% of the time leave their relationship for the affair partner. Breaking up the family and destroying the foundational building block of your children's life is almost certainly a bad thing for the parent to do to a child. Sometimes it may be necessary (abuse is the main thing that comes to mind), but generally I think our society has a lack of a sense of duty.

avery58 · Answer

When they cheat they not only hurt and betray their partner but their whole family. They might be more decent with their children than their partner on a personal basis, but at the end they didn't care about disrespecting their family or the effect their actions could take on their household or children.

jennyPuss · Answer

Absolutely not. Children are people too. They don't accept you trying to teach them values when they see you don't have any yourself.

You can be a parent. You just can't be a good one. Because to be a good parent you have to first be good, and if you cheat on your spouse then you're automatically not good.

If we can't agree on that, then there is no standard for good and therefore no such thing as good.

zac-10 · Answer

It is possible. For the first four years after my divorce my ex wife was a wonderful mom. That has changed recently but it was because of some medical issues and the medication she takes as a result of her condition. She cheated on my pretty much the entire 13 years we were together. I'm not positive but I have my suspicion she may be unfaithful with her new husband as well. There was no way we could have provided a good environment for our children if we'd stayed together because of the resentment her cheating caused. But once we were divorced she a great mom.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Absolutely!!! We all wear different identities. We can excel with one role and fuck up totally the other one.

Kabluie · Answer

Depends on the context, was the cheating because of a partner or family problem, it likely won't affect parenting. Like if a couple gets angry over interests or money, even if it's irrational they can cheat over that and that's also not parenting related.

art84 · Answer

My brother's ex girlfriend cheated on my brother while in a 5 year relationship. She never cared for her sons always putting her career before them. My brother basically had to raise them from babies to teenagers with the mom involved. Both of my nephews didn't have a loving mother which deeply affected them. She blames my brother for not wanting to be a family. Though my brother did cheat on her with another girl. So my nephews saw their dad replace their mom with another women.

Likes2drive · Answer

That’s a complex thing to answer, people cheat for many reasons but it’s the person themselves who makes a good parent , my ex cheated on me but was still a good parent and pushed our kids to do better even though cheating is a selfish thing she didn’t let it affect the kids when we split. It’s usually the personality that makes a good parent and other traits but I’m sure most cheaters have selfish tendencies

BetaBucks · Answer

They CAN be, but selfish people tend not to be great parents. There are exceptions though.

Staximus · Answer

Cheating is not an act committed against a child but it greatly affects the child's life. The kid has to suffer through all the bullshit going on between their parents.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yes but it’s still a bad thing they’re doing

BCRanger10 · Answer

No. You are a spouse first and then a parent. Infidelity will damage a child's relationship with, trust in, and loyalty to the unfaithful parent.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Good parent sure. Someone to look up to especially for relationship advice? Absolutely not

HelpfulWoman · Answer

how could they when they've failed in part of their role with lying and hiding things from their partner?

Peridot25 · Answer

Absolutely not! They’re teaching their children it’s ok to cheat.

jahaims · Answer

No, cheating is selfish and takes away from the kids as well. Psychologically damaging your spouse effects how they can function and parent. Plus it makes the cheater a terrible role model which is the opposite of a good parent.

Surferboi_02 · Answer

Yes because all peop! e change and just he's cause you main deal a mistake doesn't take the worthiness of being a good parent away. A GOOD parent is one who raises their child the best way that they can.

Breanna_nonbinary · Answer

The best thing for children is the truth. Openness and honesty.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Usually no because they're setting a poor moral example.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Well they can be if they learned the lesson and regretted cheating

Anonymous · Answer

If you cheat on your spouse, that is something that should be contained to the relationship between the parents. It has nothing to do with your child.

EmmaMary · Answer

No, absolutely not.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

Cheater cannot be trusted, no sincerity, no morality

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

A cheater is no good for nothing!

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No. Typically such people aren't good parents.

DishLady · Answer

Nope.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

In America where everyone fuck everyone

NathanDavis · Answer

nope

katiesmuff · Answer

No I don't think so.

Yannae · Answer

Yes, for anything besides relationships

Sunnysunny123 · Answer

Yes.

Vegasrunner · Answer

What does one have to do with the other?

missindiana93 · Answer

Absolutely not!

zombiewoof · Answer

of course they can

nawtee_me · Answer

No, all they have to offer is selfishness

Jerre · Answer

I don’t think it makes a difference

Anonymous · Answer

People cheat all the time

Jennz6 · Answer

Sure

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes.

Do you think a husband/wife who cheats on their partner can be a good parent for their children?

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