Is it a problem that my mental health will always be more important than the people in my life?

[Lynx122]

I have to be careful how I balance things. It's like I'm always spinning a bunch of plates and balancing on a beam and I have a little wiggle room but if I go too far I'll have to pay a big price later on for whatever I'm doing now. And I like being efficient and consistent so usually I try to avoid this. Sometimes I make exceptions but most of the time I don't.

In general this is a good thing. I think one reason why I am not susceptible to addictions is because I had to learn the price for indulging throughout my life

But socially it seems like it's a problem for me. It's not like I don't want to be giving and be sociable and spend time with people but I need to think of my future as well. It doesn't take that much and my next day or two can be affected or a whole week. It's hard because even if I try to tell people that it's not personal but I just need to take care of myself it doesn't change how they feel about me and how I interact with them.

As my life has gone on I've become more social and I'm more interested in connecting with people. I don't want this to be all people remember me by at the end of my life that I was never as invested or as available as other people and I was just in the background of their life.

But to function I have to constantly have an eye on my overall condition and if I can handle to responsibilities of tomorrow with how today is going. And i feel like how I've managed it so far is a great accomplishment and I don't want to throw that away.

It just feels like people notice this about me and they think it's a personal choice, like I'm just a cold person or something, but it's not a choice. If you knew what I was dealing with, you'd get it.

[Crimsyjo]

Nobody has to get it or even agree with it. Your concern over how you are perceived is a normal reaction - I guess as a species because we are designed to live in groups and conform to social norms of behaviour. But it really only matters that you know and justify your reasons yo yourself and anyone you let close enough to matter in your life will see and understand that about you.

I totally get tho about over extending yourself can have a big knock on effect to the following days productivity and mental health.

Nothing wrong looking after that!

[DishLady]

Well... you have to love yourself first... and you have to understand yourself before you can love or understand other people. So no, it shouldn't be a problem to prioritize yourself in your own life. Don't let anyone beat you up for loving yourself and wanting to be a whole person. Protect your peace.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What Crimsy, Dish and normalice said.

The general public cannot understand what you're experiencing, for many reasons, but mostly because society has troubles registering individual specificity. Society being a normalized collective, at worst, society will crush you for derailing, at best, you will find individuals, and institutions, registering your right to be... Different. Not many of them though, solely depending on where you live and what your social circles are.

[normalice]

I would say as long as you don't forget that having amiable productive relations with others is a critical component of your own mental health, it is fine.

[DrPepper12]

Law #1 for being human: SELF-PRESERVATION above all else!!