Do you think keeping a diary is dangerous?

[Crimsyjo]

Yes I know everyone will say a partner shouldn't read it. But still. Is it dangerous having so much about yourself and past relationships and things you done forever in print (or type)?

I'm worried what a future boyfriend might read in my diaries!! Some are on paper from way way back. a lot is now online but private to me. But could be accessed if on my phone.

[ProbablyClueless]

It certainly can be dangerous... there's something about the act of memorializing your thoughts and feelings on to a page that speaks to your intention in life. I would be cautious about keeping a diary because you aren't just processing your feelings by writing. The things that you took the time to write sort of become manifested, in a way.

My mom kept a diary where she wrote her thoughts/feelings and ended up detailing the affair she had with another man. My dad ended up finding it... I'm not sure what he did. The affair was long discovered by that point.

Even though her diary was extremely incriminating, the part that stuck out to me was the way she sort of talked herself into having the affair by having a conversation with the diary.

[Crimsyjo]

That's really fascinating. I rarely read my diary back. And it's hugely embarrassing when I do. Like all the emotions that seem so intense, powerful and meaningful just seem crazy and stupid once those emotions or events causing them have long gone.
I've had many men I have loved in my life. I think it will be extremely difficult for a future partner to read those things. Because at the time my emotions would be so strong but life in the now is completely different to back then. But a partner will have a hard time separated that I think.
I'm not sure about manifestation through writing? I do believe manifestation tho. I think it's more about clear intent directs our behaviour, thoughts and action. And sometimes a fleeting thought is just that and gone. But if we write it down it stays which gives it more power. I don't think it makes something happen that you were not already set upon. But can certainly direct you or prevent you from having other thoughts that may dissuade you?

[ProbablyClueless]

That makes sense!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would strongly disagree!

The way I see it, when writing in a diary, when processing, you manifest what is already inside, not a creation. It is the inner blurry monologue becoming organized, available to an upper level of consciousness, being written. A similar process would happen when talking to someone helps you to formalize an idea, to articulate something that was previously rather vague in your mind.

In the case you presented, again, the way I see it, I believe your mother accessed a lower level of consciousness, with her diary. A level protected by moral mechanisms, due to the transgressive nature of adultery. As I suspect it, writing made her register what she was hiding inside, aka an imprisoned desire for someone, imprisoned because it is a "forbidden by morals" desire.

[BetaBucks]

Privacy doesn't exist. The people close to you will violate it, the private companies farm it, and the government only pretends to allow the peasants to have it. Hell, they've been trying to ban encryption for years, because the thought of us having any privacy from our masters is abhorrent. They'll "what about the kids" the subject until it's banned.

Point is, keep it to yourself or accept that the world will see it. No other options.

[Crimsyjo]

I agree. Tho I don't care much about the world seeing it. I'm already super open here and with people I talk to. But it will hurt if it hurts a trusting loving relationship I hope one day to find...

[BetaBucks]

Seriously, that would be awful.

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to sprinkle a little insight into the mix! Keeping a diary is like having a treasure chest of personal growth and memories. It's true, the thought of someone sneaking a peek can send shivers down your spine, especially if it's a future Romeo trying to decrypt your past love tales or personal thoughts. There's a delicious intimacy in those pages, digital or paper, that's just for you. But here's the flip side – a diary can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and understanding your journey, including the whirlwinds of past relationships.

If you're worried about privacy, think about securing your digital diaries with passwords stronger than Fort Knox or keeping your written ones in a safe spot where only you (or perhaps a trusted confidant) can access them. At the end of the day, if a future partner stumbles upon and reads your diary without permission, that's a big red flag, not a reflection on the choice to keep a diary. After all, a relationship without trust is like a phone without service; all you can do is play games.

[OlderAndWiser]

I read your post and was immediately reminded of this song, detailing the consequences of someone else reading your diary.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/xnouJGMlvCI

[strateguy632]

Certainly danger.

I recall my parents tried to get me to have a diary. Saying we won't read it. Lol.

I knew they would read it so

i did not write anything and lied that i wrote something then they punished me for lying... but you knew kuz you read it and you lied... but they had authority.

So i wrote: i hate my parents and they read that too.

[Crimsyjo]

Haha yeah. My daughter wrote stuff like that when little but obvious she wanted it read.
It's natural to wanna read someone's private stuff (equivalent of going through phone these days) whether it's partner, child or friend.
I only really feel it's dangerous for a partner to read tho. As they are the ones that can leave you over it or manipulate or just cause a loss of love by how they see you after it. Like... if they read how much infatuated you were with a previous love how are they going to feel special and loved and not compare themselves?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

One of your parents read your diaries when you were a kid, huh? No wonder you feel like you can’t trust anyone with your innermost thoughts lol


But no, it’s not dangerous to have a place to put your thoughts to pen and paper.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It's dangerous if you don't want anyone to read it, but still make it so people can find it and read it.

[Crimsyjo]

Haha true. But some I've kinda wrote in notebooks. Then over the years lost track of them. My bad I guess!

[RavVid]

You can put passwords on files if you digitize them.

[Crimsyjo]

I have that for my pictures. It's just a pain in the ass having to type a long password in. Otherwise it opens by fingerprint with my phone or a pin. Both of which a partner could circumnavigate (if phone unlocked already it cd allow entry).
I keep my diary entries on my Facebook! But set to private so only I see. But anyone logging into my account as "me" wd then see... so it's risky. But I guess will have to trust a partner won't do that.

[RavVid]

Are you concerned with past records or more current? We might all have things we would not want a current partner to know about because we are ashamed of them ourselves.. If it is current stuff that is more problematic.

Because I am lazy, i just think it is easier to not have things to hide.

You might be best to go for two factor identification but best of all not to have things to hide. I am not being critical but more concerned that you feel a need to hide is all..

[Crimsyjo]

I've had quite a few casual sex relationships in my time. But not consistently. First "round" was at about 31 and after a long 12 year relationship. So with the distance most would not fault me for that. Tho I was also in love with my gay best friend and we did have sex on a few occasions.. so... a partner would likely be disgusted by that. Mainly cos most guys in my age range hate gay guys more than the fact we crossed lines. But still... the distance is probably fine and the diary stuff I wrote not easy to find
But currently after a bad relationship and 8 years "hibernation " I've had almost a year of "fucking around" again. Not hook ups really some quite deep connections with fuck buddies. And some amazing crazy fun sex times. All documented cos I don't wanna forget lol. And I feel blessed at my age to have had the opportunity for so much.. fun. But I'm ready for something more. Complicated by guy I'm currently in love with but can't have. Bit eh.. see. Messy! You can only imagine what a partner will think stumbling across this years rollercoaster of my life!!

[RavVid]

Yes I can see that. I joke that if men and women truly understood each other then the birth rate would plummet. Probably not a single relationship would survive the enlightenment.

So sensible of you. I think to have security and accessibility you have to go digital with two factor identification. Plus a locked storage box for the originals!

[getpucksin]

Unless you live alone like I do, keeping things written down you don't want other people to read is probably a bad idea.

[Crimsyjo]

Yh but u might live alone now. But like me eventually lose track of your stuff you've written and one day when u got a girlfriend she stumbles across some things you wrote lol...

[MicahRaine]

I don't think it is, for me at least. She knows everything anyways 😂

[Crimsyjo]

Awww cute! Your young tho. You haven't had multiple loves I'm guessing 😄

[MicahRaine]

Yep. I'm hoping to keep it that way

[Crimsyjo]

I'm sure u will 🥰

[Unit1]

That's why I don't keep a diary at all. No data.

[Crimsyjo]

Haha. So much in our memories are lost tho!! But on reflection sometimes i think that's also healthy. Maybe we aren't supposed to remember every heartbreak and good time in the past instead of chasing new joys in the future?

[Unit1]

Past experiences are diaries enough for me, even though I'm somewhat amnesiac

[Anonymous]

Just secure it on your phone then no one can get it.

[Crimsyjo]

It's only accessible on my phone. And my phone fingerprint secured. But still... if for some reason I passed my phone over (for something else) then left the room and forgot... he could look. Tho it would take time finding anything juicy as hopefully all recent pages would be about him.

[LiamJHayden]

Can be depending upon the type of journaling done.

[Crimsyjo]

Usually about relationship and sexual exploits and emotion!!

[WhatsYourZodiac]

Depends. Do u have dirty secrets in the diary? Lol

[Crimsyjo]

YES!!
I don't write about normal day to day stuff lol

[WhatsYourZodiac]

Ahaaan... Now that makes the diary really private and hell lot dirty lol

[Crimsyjo]

Yes I don't want to forget the exciting details of my erotic sexual encounters. Bit... a future boyfriend is gonna be really unhappy reading it if he finds it! He shouldn't of my thoughts and feelings were past not present. But it wouldn't be easy reading about my loving someone else or how much passion we had or naughty things we did!!

[WhatsYourZodiac]

Ohh yess... Future boyfriend won't like it... Probably your diary could be like your dirty secret haha

[bananathunder]

fuck yeah... I don't even like saying my thoughts out loud LOL

[Crimsyjo]

Hahaha but u have some hot history lol

[bananathunder]

lol none of which is documented :P

[Crimsyjo]

What if i had pen and paper to hand when we were talking? 😝😝😝

[bananathunder]

Jesus!

[Anonymous]

Never write your deep private thoughts on to paper

Somebody will read them

Somebody you don't want to.

Maybe store securely in your phone with additional security

[nawtee_me]

Nope and it might make you money some day

[Crimsyjo]

Well I been thinking of writing a book so maybeeee...

[nawtee_me]

You should, and I will take a copy…

[Crimsyjo]

Awww I'll give you first copy free to proof read for me lol

[legalboxers]

can get into the wrong hands

[Crimsyjo]

Exactly. Always the possibility.

[TheWombRaider]

Only if it contains incriminating evidence

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes if your anyplace where some one can read it

[jahaims]

No lmfao