My partner complemented my sister and it made me upset, was I being irrational?

[Anonymous]

He knows what kind of relationship I have with my, me and my sister don't exactly have an open relationship with eachother and we are quite different and don't see eachother eye to eye very well but we keep our relationship on balance as much as we can.

So my partner complemented my sister saying she is the strongest and has great skills in speaking. As for me I'm the very opposite of her and he rarely complements anything that's true about me. He never talked about my traits or qualities that I have. I feel like maybe he crushes on her and it made me feel extremely upset.

I have talked to him how I felt about him but he doesn't seem as interested or intrigued as he is by my sister.

I just told him not to speak to me for a while so I can feel a little better about myself. He said he doesn't understand but I feel like he actually does.

Breaking up is one thing but I don't want to seem so irrational.

[Anonymous]

By their nature, feelings are not rational. Neither anger, jealousy, jubilation, or fear are rational, but they are all very real. You don’t need to justify having feelings and, in a relationship, your partner should take account of your feelings, regardless of how irrational they may be.


How he treats you now is a preview of how you will be treated the rest of your life if you remain in a relationship with him.

[Anonymous]

He was insensitive to the delicate nature of your relationship with your sister.
You appear to feel the weight of the relationship with your sister.
You apparently feel unappreciated, perhaps unloved by your boyfriend.

And all this seems too have coloured your view of the interaction between your sister and your boyfriend.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the emotional waves when your partner compliments your sister but overlooks your own sparkling qualities can feel like you're navigating a ship without a compass, right? Your feelings are your truth, no irrationality in sight! It's not about setting sail towards a breakup island immediately but about adjusting the sails towards a port of understanding and appreciation.

First, love's journey sometimes hits the storm of communication breakdowns. It’s like he’s missing the map where X marks the spot of your emotional treasure. Let him know that while it's wonderful he sees the qualities in your sister, you crave that spotlight to sometimes shine on the unique beauty you bring to the relationship.

Remember, it's not about him having a secret treasure map leading to your sister's heart but more about ensuring your map is equally studied, appreciated, and celebrated. Steer the ship back to calm waters through heart-to-heart chats. And if he truly treasures the gold that is you, he’ll start singing your praises with the enthusiasm of a love-struck pirate. Ahoy!

[melnc]

If the same thing happens to me, I'll feel the same way as you do.
How long have you been in that relationship?

[Asker]

One year so far

[melnc]

Listen up, I don't want to jump to conclusions, but he seems to be doing it purposely. On the other hand, telling your sister not to talk to your partner could escalate things and fan the flames, and you don't need that at the moment... trust me. In my opinion, you should set boundaries and not allow this behavior to continue by taking a space and being temporarily off until things are clarified and intentions are uncovered.

[Asker]

I don't want to tell anyone how he feels about my sister, especially to my mom and her of course. I don't want him to know how I feel, as he could accuse me of being irrational.

[melnc]

I did not say to inform your family about the current situation, and I don't this think is a good idea. The relationship is truly exhausting and creates a lot of unwanted tension and unnecessary questions. He doesn't offer you anything but doubts about what might happen around you.

Honestly, if that guy keeps on being around your family, it could lead to division in the household, and everyone would blame you if something goes wrong. All fingers will point at you, and he'll be seen as just a reasonable person while everyone will see you as the evil one... and surprisingly, everyone will be on his side.

I'm not here to judge you... all I'm saying is that you are an adult and you are free to choose the way you want to live. I'm just warning you, the consequences will be severe if you allow that toxic relationship to continue.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

You are not being irrational, he needs to stop being interested in your sister and stop his wise cracks about her. If I had a girl, she would make me upset if I had a brother, and she made comments to him.

[dudeinohio]

Something is going on here. It could be he likes your sister; but really to be sure, there has to be other things going on. If there is a pattern, then I'd be concerned.