True or False , Guys’ are in it for the long haul , Girls are in it for the short haul?

[Finchie40]

The only reason I say this is pretty true is because of my experiences with girls’ and things I have witnessed from other couples. When a guy gives his heart to a girl and wants her by his side , he is in it for the long haul , When a girl gives her heart to a guy she is in it for the long haul only in the the beginning , but eventually changes her mind , if he doesn’t match up to everyone she compares him to, or if he fails her in any which way. I lost my wife because I lost my job and having a hard time landing one , but all the jobs she lost or jobs she walked away from I was by her side , Females’ are only after what is best for themselves , most of them will run to someone else if things aren’t going their way. So finding true love today is sadly hard to find I want a partner , not a fucking user or a convenience, Why so many guys’ today do not want relationships with girls’ because most girls’ are selfish people that only want what’s best for themselves. How dare her man fail her. Most guys’ will only cheat or move on from her if she treats him like shit and withholds intimacy and affection from him Girls’ will cheat, if she finds herself a man she feels will provide for her , that makes more money , I’m sorry most of you girls’ don’t have your mans’ back the same way you expect him to have yours

[coxoabean]

I am sorry that that has happened to you. That just seems wrong. I've never been married but I have been in relationships, and there are girls out there who wouldn't do that. I think it is important for a girl to be by her man's side every step of the way, she can help him out. If they are struggling financially, she can choose to help him make money, or offer support to just be there and encourage him as I'm sure that would help him not feel so stressed. I have seen many ladies get the most expensive things, do their hair, nails, get facials, go shopping for more clothes and things when they already have some, yet their husbands are working so hard to try and make money, when they hardly have any. He has to work so hard, and the lady just spends it all on whatever but then gets mad when they have no money. So that is wrong, a lady can definitely find ways to help save money, such as putting money aside in savings, the money she would use for other junk, she can put it into savings instead. Or just other situations where a guy would need support, a lady should always be there for her guy no matter what. That's what a relationship is about, not just you but mainly the other person. When it comes to getting married your promising to commit for better or for worse, till death separates you two. So, no matter what a girl should always be there for her guy, and not leave when things get tough. Same goes for guys, when his girl needs her, he should be there the same for her.

[Crimsyjo]

I hear what your saying but I don't know. I know for myself there are many reasons that I'd leave a relationship. Mostly a combination of compatibility issues that can't be overcome because the guy won't compromise or help us find a way. Guys can in my opinion get lazy too. Being "long haul" for a man sometimes means they stop being loving and romantic. Treat the woman like a free maid, substitute mother and a cum bucket to empty into for 5 mins before sleep. Is it any wonder the woman decides she deserves better? And the "better stage" happens to be in the short haul stage of a relationship? A woman WANTS long haul.

Of course there's going to be exceptions to this. Money is not an issue for me. I've had two boyfriends not working. It's their lack of trying to get a job and comfortable letting me carry the load that becomes an issue. I'm happy to support my man through thick and thin as long as he is equally making efforts to not make it a permanent situation.

I guess our experiences shape our views if the opposite gender. Sadly. And it makes finding trust in a new relationship hard... but it's worth trying.

[Finchie40]

Yea I am not saying every girl does this , just from my experiences and things I have witnessed , it seems to lean that way. But I know this kind of stuff occurs from both sexes. My selfish wife that I have stood by and loved and pretty much catered to eventually changed her mind to the point I was no longer good enough for her , started comparing me and criticizing me , belittling me , making me feel I was no longer loved by her , I was all of a sudden a convenience to her , The second I lost my job , I became pretty much useless to her , how dare she have my back and get a job while I was applying to positions , how dare I even consider her to actually work to help keep a roof over our head and food in our mouths , but instead, everything was my fault , she pointed fingers at me instead of having my back , so we decided to go our separate ways and I realized she didn’t love me , she only liked what she could get from me , I didn’t have a partner , I had a user. So the only thing I was good for was a paycheck and some dick when she wanted it. Now that my kids are older her true colors have shined and I now clearly see what kind of person she truly is , and I realized I no longer want to be with someone like that. She just wants her cake and wants to eat it to pretty much , she doesn’t want to be enemies with me she wants to all of a sudden be single and do what she pleases , I was quite alright with it and told her don’t be surprised when i do meet a girl that actually has a heart. That values a relationship the same way I do. So we agreed to sell the house and go our separate ways. I’m sorry but I honestly feel used , and I will never ever commit or stay
With girl that treats me like a convenience.

[Crimsyjo]

I know. I've seen a few of your posts now. I'm sorry you went through that and it's really hard. But dom't let it turn you bitter or jaded. So many men sound like women haters when they start saying "women only want money" "women are narcissistic users" etc etc.
Believe me. I can easily say "men are assholes" after my experiences and relationships. Fortunately talking to many on here reminds me there are good men out there. And there are 100% good hearted women.
I keep picking bad men tho... I hope u don't fall into a pattern too. Ending up with a certain type?

[Finchie40]

Apparently I do , all the good ones are usually taken already lol

[Crimsyjo]

Or tied down with a bad one! Urgh!!! Some couples are lucky. But majority not. Why is ot so hard for good to attract good?

[msc545]

Men are in it long enough to get laid a few times, and women are in it for the money and the goodies.

[Crimsyjo]

@msc545 what money and goodies haha? I never got a thing from my relationships. Only reason we ever had anything was because of myself and my leadership in driving the relationship forward. Hence I'm done. I would like a guy who can look after himself but not cos I'm greedy and want to take but cos all the men I meet are weak and looking for a mama not a wife!
Maybe that's just UK men...

[msc545]

Your picker might be broken, or you might be looking in the wrong places. Or both.

[Crimsyjo]

@msc545 yh I have a bit of a thing for underdogs so I see potential and think I can "fix" them. I need a guy who doesn't need fixing lol...
But then as this post proves... those men go for manipulative gold diggers so by time someone nice like me comes along they already bitter and mistrusting!!

[RavVid]

I'd say so.

The median (50%tile) marriage is 8 years with 70% of wives initiating no fault divorce. I would argue this is nearer 90%. Eight years is about the time it takes to pop out 1.8 babies and get them into elementary school. I doubt that is a coincidence and is more likely female mission achieved.

There is another divorce blip up at 20 years upon empty nest. I'd say female mission achieved again.

Currently about 30% of marriages are 30+ years and after that divorces are rare. Those marriages happened in 1994 or earlier. We are unlikely to see 30+ year marriages again as that cohort die off.

About 10% of men divorce and about 20% are joint divorces. infidelity is seldom tolerated so I would interpret those as involving cheating. We could roughly say split in half for male and female cheating but 15% of wives have cheated and only 10%

Taking cheating as defacto divorcing then there is another 18% points on top of the 70% of wives initiating unilateral divorce.

So a whopping 90% of wives unilaterally divorce or initiate defacto divorce in 8 years.

A deal to reject in my view.

[MisterWack]

For women it is more difficult for them to just go with any guy since pregnancy is a big risk and wanting a good capable mentally strong father figure with a warm & caring & nurturing heart.

Guys are in it for a long haul in a different way than girls since guys have no strings attached while girls do. Basic logic.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the tumultuous waters of love, eh? Let me sprinkle some of my relationship glitter on this. True or false? Neither and both, darling. Painting with such a broad brush misses the masterpiece of nuances in relationships. Love, like life, isn't a one-size-fits-all jumpsuit. Sure, your heartache paints a picture of betrayal and disappointment, but remember, love's canvas is vast.

Men and women alike can be in it for the long haul or dart at the first sign of trouble. It's less about gender and more about individual commitment, values, and resilience. Your story, while heart-wrenching, doesn't define the capacity for loyalty in all women or men. True love isn't about finding someone who won't ever fail you (spoiler alert: we all will at some point); it's about finding someone who, despite the falls, chooses to rise with you.

Reflect, learn, and keep your heart open, friend. The love you seek might just be around the corner, waiting for its cue to waltz into your life. And hey, until then, enjoy the dance of self-discovery and growth. 💕✨

[Caroline91]

It totally depends on the individual and their values, regardless of whether it is a man or a woman. According to recent studies, about 20% of men and 13% of women cheat. It varies by age and in the 20's slightly more women cheat and after that, it's more men.

[sage2021]

I believe the opposite to be true.

One example that comes to mind is when a guy knocks a girl/lady up, then he finds out about it and he takes off! He's outta there!
And sometimes he waits till after the baby is born and he gets scared and then takes off and abandons both of them for good!

Usually I read on this website that most guys just want sex, that's it. I've read this over and over again on here.
And I have to preface this by saying not all guys. I know that!
Some guys are in it for the long haul but I don't believe that it's as many as guys that don't want a relationship for the long haul.

That's my honest opinion 😎

[Finchie40]

Yes guys’ want sex , but what most females’ don’t understand is sex is his way of being closer to her , Most guys’ will have sex with a girl , but if he feels she wants nothing more with him , he will eventually look elsewhere , Most guys’want a girl that comes to him , that wants him the same way he wants her , if she just sits back and just waits for him to come to her , he will assume she just wanted sex and nothing more. Unless he is a player , then that’s a different story. When I have sex with a girl my intentions is to have her come back for more and more , I am not the kind of guy that just has sex with a girl and goes to the next. I am the kind of guy that will bring her flowers and ask to see her again. Most girls’ I have done that to were shocked , assuming I just had sex with her and that’s it , so yes it has to go both ways for any relationship to start , we aren’t mind readers and don’t know what someone’s true intentions are. We met because we both were attracted to to each other and enjoyed each others’ time together , we had sex because we both like each other. Sadly her intentions isn’t always the same as mine

[Cat67]

Finchie40 . Good question I am with you on that I gave up a long time ago so for me about 35 years now I don't bother with women no more I talked to them you know hang out with you maybe but as far as dating yes I'm different now I don't know how the women are today went from what is now I have no idea how it happened why it happened so I can do with another today I think it's only been within the 15 or 20 years at least but it's only the women of now for the most part good question and I agree

[MicahRaine]

I get what you're saying, and I'm sorry you've had that experience.

I think it depends on the people. I know some people who are manipulative, play games with each other, and overall just don't make wise choices. I've also known people who are honest, truly love others, and think of others when making choices.

[LazerBean]

I think both genders these days tend to be trashy and unfaithful. But the main difference in genders is that unfaithful males generally do it intentionally while unfaithful females tend to give up after a while. That's why males will group women into "recreational" and "marriage" material categories, while females just don't think that hard about it and go with what they feel at the moment.

[DizzyDesii]

You made it sound bad but you initially answered the question yourself. “if he doesn’t match up to everyone she compares him to, or if he fails her in any which way.”… Yea if a guy is not what/who I thought he was or if he fails me repeatedly, why should I have to settle for a pretender/failure? I do prefer longterm relationships but when it no longer feels right, I will talk it over, try to fix it and if things continue to fck up, I’m out

[Vegasrunner]

What kind of bizarro world are you living in? "Hit it an quit it" "two visits I'm cool wit it" there are literally hundreds of phrases describing the fact that men want quick easy access to a lot of women. Women are looking for "Mr right" Are you familiar with the phrase Men want one thing from all women, women want all things from one man?

[Anonymous]

Never expect a woman to be your other half. A woman is a bonus to your life, not a complement. Treat her nicely and enjoy the time with her while it lasts. If you want emotional support, get it from your buddies. Don’t ever plan too much into the future. Your girlfriend or wife is not your mother, your sister or your buddies who love you unconditionally. You don’t love her unconditionally either

[Anonymous]

I don't think that's true today. A lot of guys are more interested in casual sex than long term relationships, whereas women tend to be more interested in commitment. There is truth in the saying that women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to relationships.

[Opinion Owner]

I will add though that I think you're right when it comes to marriage. Today's women seem to have lost their sense of commitment, which is why half of marriages end in divorce and women file 80% of them. And that's the biggest reason why so many men today are not interested in commitment.

[Lliam]

False. That's your experience. And I'm sorry that happened to you.
But everyone is different, and you can't generalize about either men or women.

[Jennz6]

I’m sorry that happened to you but not all women are like that. 💃

The only reason why I’m not married is because of the kind of work that I am doing.

[Finchie40]

Yea , I am not saying every girl is this way , just the ones I experienced lol , Most girls’ I got into a relationship with were on the same page as me in the beginning and things were great between us for quite a long time , but sadly they eventually changed their minds thinking they were missing out on something , or being vulnerable to another guy that was hitting on them , not resisting temptation if she feels the other guy is hotter or makes more money etc. drives a nicer car , or has better qualities etc. I am not saying guys’ can’t be this way either , because I know guys’ can be selfish assholes as well , when things aren’t going his way in his current relationship. The bottomline is most people in general are selfish people that only really care about what’s best for themselves. Resisting temptation is hard for a lot of people to do , which is sadly one of the main reasons a lot of relationships fail. Most people get into relationships only thinking about what is best for themselves , but they don’t truly factor in their partners’ feelings , they do in the beginning because they are infatuated with that person but after sometime when that infatuation period runs it’s course their partner becomes pretty much a convenience of them. So why even get into a relationship period , if that’s pretty. much how people think? Me personally doesn’t commit to a girl to be single , I am giving her my heart the same way I hope she is giving me hers , hoping she has my back the same way I have hers. Love only comes when 2 people choose each other and respect each other the same way, staying loyal and honest to each other , resisting temptations for each other. So many married couples and relationships these days, partners’ are cheating on each other thinking they are missing out on something , so the find someone that is actually honest and faithful to you is sadly hard to come by. Most people want their cake and want to eat it to. They don’t know how to love

[Finchie40]

The same way they want loved in return. Why I no longer jump into relationships with girls’ I prefer FWB’s first with some strings attached so her and I have time to really get to know each other. To see if we are both choosing each other the same way before making the big commitment to each other , I have been burned to many times by girls’ that told me they wanted love , that wanted loyalty and commitment, but they didn’t add in only for a short period of time until something better comes along. Me personally wants a partner , someone that has my back the same way I have hers , that wants me the same way I want her. I don’t care of her and I end up in a little cabin somewhere , as long as she is by my side , I will be by hers. Selfishness sadly destroys relationships, if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner? Don’t expect them to remove it for you

[Smashingdoozy]

Depends on the person. Isn't gendered at all

[slatyb]

False. If that's your experience, then you are rushing new relationships. This is immature and creepy.

[Nikki1989]

100% false. Men are far more likely to stray or at least just give up trying.

[WriteOn]

Can be either or. Depends on that person n what they are going through.

[LiamJHayden]

People are individuals and vary as individuals rather than by sex.

[Radiate143]

It is the total opposite. Men are largely in It for the short term.

[RingOfFire]

If I had to generalize I would say it's just the opposite.

[beefcakebradybatson]

My parents were married 53 years, my maternal Uncle Ronald Turner and Aunt Francine Williams Turner for 55 years.

[Anonymous]

Nope not true and my experience is opposite of yours.

[jahaims]

Opinions aren't true or false. Facts and fallacies are.

[Anonymous]

Funny both genders think the opposite of each other

[Opinion Owner]

Most men I meet only want sex or to manipulate me into believing they wanted a relationship. Once I see through them and I continue to try to get to know them, they dip

[Ladsin2]

It's the opposite at first, but it flips at some point it seems.

[Yannae]

False it's a person thing. Not a gender one

[Account]

False.

[Agape93]

False. Depends on the person

[Babygirl_S]

The opposite is true

[PsychicBoobs]

Since when are guys all the same?

[bobby_bush_eater]

That's a generalization

[Snakeyes7]

That's not a gender thing.