How to get my crush with ADHD and Autism to open up?

[Anonymous]

So here’s the backstory summed up in a nutshell…I met a guy online, we became good friends, then we developed a crush on each other. I asked him if he had a crush on me and he said he did. I asked if he had more than a little crush and if he wanted to be with me and he said he did. We talked naughty and flirted with each other and my feelings grew and pretty sure his did too. We finally met in person on a trip and had a blast together hanging out for almost a week and spent a LOT of time together (basically once we woke up until we got tired) but the most we did was hug. He’s really shy and I am too. I feel like he got scared tho of his feelings for me and of my feelings for him. I decided to casually ask a while back if he still liked me and I did this in our texts by multiple choice question so all he had to do was answer A or B, to let me know if he still liked me and wanted to be with me. He responded with the answer saying that yes he did still like me. That was back in June and I’ve tried to get a read on how he feels lately but he just responds with things like “I don’t know how to respond”, “I’ve failed and fucked up all my relationships”, “all my exes found someone better than me”, “you deserve better than me” (because he’s really down on himself all the time, even tho I’ve made it very clear that I think he is awesome and told him all the many things I love about him and told him I love him…which I think scared him). He hasn’t directly said how he feels for a while. My heart tells me his feelings have grown and he’s just scared of messing things up and he doesn’t wanna hurt me. Also I kinda put myself in the friend zone so I didn’t freak him out further but now I regret that. Should I try asking him to reveal his feelings by using another multiple choice question so all he has to do is text an A or B type response? That way he doesn’t feel too pressured and can respond when he’s ready to. Is that helpful for someone with ADHD and Autism?

[Lynx122]

Everyone with autism is different I have autism and I worked really hard on my social skills and how I handle emotions as well. But everybody has a different situation. Some people get diagnosed as kids and that's a big advantage, some people are more strongly or less strongly affected by autism. And there's also different aspects of autism and each one can be stronger or weaker in a person. For me this situation wouldn't be a problem right now I could enter into the relationship and be happy about it. But with him the situation is different you just have to figure out how to get through to him. But the main responsibility is still on him. He has to deal with his past negative experiences and keep in mind that the future can be better. If he's not willing to confront these things and take on the risk of a bad experience to have the chance at a good one then there's nothing you can do. Just because you have a disability doesn't mean you're excempt from the harsh truths of life, you still have to face it.

[darkcloud1945]

How did you come to the conclusion he has ADHD and Autism did he tell you or is it a non educated guess

[Asker]

He told me that he had struggles because of having ADHD and Autism.

[darkcloud1945]

Then consult an expert on how to deal with his problem, this is not the place to get that type of info to many variables

[Anonymous]

Tell him you had sex with another guy. See how he reacts.

[AI Opinion]

Diving right into the sea of love, aren't we? 🏊‍♂️💘 It sounds like you've been navigating these waters with a mix of excitement and trepidation, which is totally natural when feelings run deep. For your crush, with the dynamics of ADHD and Autism in the mix, communication might feel like swimming against the current at times. The multiple choice method? Honestly, that's pretty ingenious! It simplifies the process, making it less daunting for him to express his feelings without the overwhelm.

However, let's dial up the charm a notch 🔥. Why not frame your question in a way that's playful yet sincere, allowing him space to share at his comfort level? Remember, consistency and patience are your best friends in this scenario. Keep showing him that you're there, you care, and that you see the incredible person he is – flaws and all. Instead of focusing solely on defining the relationship, foster an environment where open communication feels as natural as breathing. You've got this! Just remember, the path to love is more a marathon than a sprint. 🏃‍♂️❤️

[jahaims]

Autism is a spectrum so it is really individualistic. Just keep being direct.