How do you make stuff work with someone who has ADHD?

So my boyfriend knew I ended things with the younger guy (I mentioned some months ago) because of his ADHD and that I felt totally forgotten about. My boyfriend then admitted that he also “used to have adhd” which I found strange because I didn’t know people could grow out of it. He told me he stopped taking his meds once he hit his teen years. Taking Preworkout became his new “way to focus” for the last 6 years, yet he claims he’s not addicted.

https://x.com/AdultingADHD/status/1546569037953523718

Looking at this old twitter post above of people with ADHD saying what they need for a relationship to survive is helping me to understand his behavior better. Its just so odd cause he was so great (though a bit clingy) up until this weekend. He just was so different, it was scary. And his form of adhd is different from my 2019 ex JT who was just hyper all the time. His is very similar to the younger guy I talked to before I met him. Both of their behavior is also similar to my most recent ex of 8 months (the seemingly bipolar alcoholic who claimed he had never been diagnosed but “could” have adhd as well).

I don’t know if I’m willing to make this relationship work/last but I want to at least try to be understanding of his random behavior this weekend. He told me as a kid, he had to take meds due to anger issues. I mean i notice he has abandonment and jealous issues (and is always trying to fight someone over me AND is afraid I’ll leave him), but I think he needs meds.

Would it be offensive to have a talk with my boyfriend tonight and tell him that although I’m not encouraging him to get back on his meds (15-20 years too late for that anyways), but that I want advice on coping with his“episodes”? I’ll word it better to him. I’m willing to tolerate this relationship at least until 4th of July since thats our vacay. If things worsen, I will end things after that. But I can’t do another 8 months like I did with the last idiot. #FeelFreeToList

Updates
1 mo
Thanks for all the advice. I’ll read through it another time. But we’re over now. Relationship just ended. And yet we’re still goin to spend 4th of July vacay together 🤦‍♀️ I’m an idiot. Its gonna be so hard to sleep tonight. I hate breaking up on work nights. Plus I still love him. But this was the oddest breakup ever and yea adhd was no excuse. That bastard is shallow af. Just glad I wasn’t in love. But damn. My Quickest official relationship ever to end 🤣😭
How do you make stuff work with someone who has ADHD?
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