Should I ask him for the money?

[Finfin1981]

I paid for my boyfriends flights with my card to go on holiday and he has forgotten to pay me back

He knows I have more money than he does and he does nice things like he went tu get me and my son some second hand bikes recently so spent some money but I’m paranoid after my last relationship when I spent more money

what do you think?

Updates

1 y

I’ve bought a few flights …

[ohsheeT]

I think you should stop spending money on your boyfriends that's your money you work for it it's yours if you feel the need to give them money that's one thing.

But I doubt you'll ever see that money again when I'm in a relationship if I give my girlfriend money it's I gave it to her I'm not going to ask for it back because the odds are I wouldn't get it back not unless I made that deal up front but anytime you do something nice like that either they're going to pay you right back or they just are going to let it go it's wrong but that's what most people do so if there's money involved if you have it to give away you better look at it like that so that's why I say just stop giving the money stop being nice I hate saying that because I'm the same way but that money you worked for and spend it on your son on yourself not on somebody else it has a job and that can take care of themselves you have too big of a heart

[strateguy632]

Speak!

Communication is important.

Start with a reminder "remember that trip... and after talking about it, "remember i paid for the tickets" then depending on his response what he expected or maybe will agree to pay , at that point be assertive that you expected it back.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the financial waters in a relationship is like trying to keep your balance on a surfboard – thrilling but tricky! Here's a little secret from the relationship vault: communication is the magic spell. Considering he's been thoughtful with the bikes, it sounds like he's got a generous heart. My advice? Approach him with the same warmth he showed when picking out those bikes. Share your feelings, not in the spirit of keeping score, but to keep the financial vibes between you as harmonious as your relationship. Money matters, yes, but open, loving communication is your golden ticket. Maybe start the convo with, "I so appreciate the joy those bikes have brought into our lives, just like I appreciate us sharing our adventures together, financially and emotionally." See where it takes you!

[kmg9150]

Gifts are gifts, asking for money is a loan, loans should be repaid, gifts aren't payment for loans, loans are not gifts because then people will expect that every time they ask for a loan.


Ultimately you do what you feel is best, if maybe it was unclear about the money being paid back (which I dont how much it was or what kind of hit it took on your savings) take the loss but remember to establish the details if it occurs next time. I also think any loan amounts should have a contract listing the details… Amount, date, repayment time frame, all at once or payments, etc.


When you say holiday, its vacation I assume? He go solo?

[NathanDavis]

ask straight... when does he think to pay you back that money

not if, but when...

and then, just take it from there

[bowenw]

You should ask. I suggest you tell him you need the money now to pay your credit card bill for his holiday.

[DrPepper12]

Of course you should ask him! Would you really want to build a new relationship based on anxiety or withholding feelings?

[Juxtapose]

If it was a loan then collect on it. Don't let other people intimidate you into not collecting what is rightfully yours.

[Abdulw]

Well next time you can split the flight with him if you know he struggling just pay it completely

[LiamJHayden]

Remind him. If he gets defensive, then you know he was planning on stiffing you.

[nawtee_me]

Money management kills a lot of relationships

[Jmmmfi4]

I WOULD... YOU'RE NOT MARRIED & DON'T SHARE A BANK ACCOUNT

[Anonymous]

Was he asked by you to pay for it?

[noohair]

I would ask but I have no context to go on.

[Jpie555]

Yes You should

[eagle1951]

ask him

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not