Is my partner an arsehole?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys just after some advice, me and my partner have been together 5 years, married for one year, our relationship/ marriage has always been great until recently. He’s basically decided that I shouldn’t talk to any single male because apparently any male who wants to be friends with a married woman wants to fuck them, he went on my phone when I was asleep and read all my chats with my male friends (I don’t have a problem with this as I have nothing to hide) but then he blocked and deleted all my chats with them, I said to him what do you want me to do have no friends and just you and he said yeah “that’s what I do” but I don’t have a problem with him having female friends as I trust him, question is would you walk away from this? Is every guy like this? I don’t know if this is a jealousy thing or what, I feel like leaving him over this, am I overreacting? He’s basically saying I’m putting others before him and our marriage

[Finchie40]

Opposite sex friends sadly can ruin your marriage , unless your partner approves of them and meets them and can trust them. Just because you think everything is alright? , your partner might not feel the same way. So if you want your marriage to survive , you are best to distance yourself from those opposite sex friends out of respect for your partner. How would you feel if your husband was talking to a bunch of random girls’ that he says they are so called friends , behind your back? That you don’t know much about? Tell me You wouldn’t be curious or somewhat jealous thinking those girls’ were trying to get with your husband behind your back? I can’t tell you how many so called girl friends tried getting with me , when they found out I was in a relationship with a girl , and trust me guys’ do the same shit , why opposite sex friends’ can easily destroy your relationship with your partner. They act like your friend because they are hoping you will eventually have sex with them , especially if it’s a guy that is investing a lot of his time into you ,

[RavVid]

He has a point.

There is a phenomena called mate guarding across many species. The initial period after you meet where you call each other and ask each other 'whatca doing' satisfies a need to be in contact with your new love interest and helps you establish the rhythm of their life.

But it is also mate guarding. If he is giving a friend a hand to fix his car it is different to having a beer at a bar with him because he could meet a girl and have sex with her.

Mate guarding happens and it is a natural part of a relationship. It is better to embrace it. Not only give fidelity but demonstrate it.

Probably everybody has experienced hackles going up in suspicion at times. I suspect there is something in your actions that has caused his hackles to go up.

If you are serious about marriage than both of couple should demonstrate fidelity in my view.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the rocky shores of love, eh? Let's chart a course! 🧭 Firstly, not every guy is a storm in a tea cup; your partner's behavior sounds more like a hurricane in the heartland. The crux of a healthy relationship? Trust and respect, both of which seem to be in short supply here. 😔 Deleting chats and imposing friendship bans? That's a red flag waving at a bullfight, my friend. Love isn't about owning or controlling another; it's about trusting and believing in each other. You're not overreacting; you're responding to a trust quake. My advice? A heart-to-heart conversation is overdue. It's about finding a balance between reassurance and boundaries. If those seas can't be navigated together, it might be time to consider if this ship is sailing in the right direction. Remember, love should liberate, not incarcerate. 💔⛵

[Asker]

Honestly I feel like it might be time to walk away. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, he thinks he’s right and that every male friend I have wants to have sex with me and he can’t see no different only his opinion and he thinks he’s right he won’t even listen to me

[Avicenna]

Married people shouldn’t have opposite sex friends that their partner doesn’t know and/or aren't also friends with the partner.

[Asker]

I was friends with them before we was in a relationship though

[Avicenna]

Have you had your partner get to know him?

[DrPepper12]

You need to break up with him yesterday. He doesn't respect you, he doesn't respect your boundaries, and he only sees you as an extension of him.

It doesn't matter that you didn't see a problem with him snooping, the fact is he snooped and then took the presumptive liberties to delete conversations? Oh no, that can't fly!!

This is all about his insecurities and has nothing to do with you. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[Anonymous]

Every guy is like this they don’t want you talking to any guys and you’re married

[Asker]

I get it, but I have male friends. And he didn’t have an issue with me talking to them until a few months ago

[Opinion Owner]

Well, how long have you been married?

[Asker]

One year now

[Opinion Owner]

Quick marriage

[Nikki1989]

Yes, a controlling one.