My girlfriend had a lust relationship?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend said that her last relationship was full of lust but that she doesn't lust after me that she loves me..

It came off a bit strange to me when she said that. I had to question if she is actually genuinely physically attracted to me or just using me because I'm a provider.

Sometimes I genuinely question if she sees me as a sexual option or if she's settling for me. I genuinely don't know if I see that twinkle in her eyes for me.

Is this insecurity or.. Like does she actually want me or does she just want a husband? Things are getting more serious but I want to make sure my relationship is real and genuine before I make any serious decisions.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn bro, that is kinda sketchy the way she described her past relationship compared to yours. I'd definitely be feeling a little insecure in your shoes.

A few things you could do:

- Pay attention to how she acts physically with you - is she affectionate and into it, or does she seem disconnected? A partner should wanna please you too.

- Have an honest chat about intimacy - ask what she finds attractive about you specifically. Not just surface level "I love you" stuff.

- Consider if she's generally pursuing your interests or mostly just her own. Compromise is key.

- Look at her actions over words - is she caring for you emotionally and putting effort into dates, quality time together?

Don't make any serious commitments yet if this aspect isn't lining up for you. You deserve to feel truly wanted for who you are, not just settled for. Definitely don't feel bad about protecting your heart here.

Trust your gut - if something still feels off after an open conversation, don't be afraid to reconsider the whole thing bro. You'll find someone who can't keep their hands off you for real. Don't settle for less!

[BetaBucks]

She had a situationship with a dude that was more attractive than you (and her) and she sexually submitted to him, but doesn't feel the same for you, so she can't really submit to you. She'll struggle to do anything most than vanilla sex, but she'll do what she can because she loves you. She appreciates that you do things for her and give her your attention, while the other guy just gave her dick and nothing else. This is the 100% normal and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, so don't take it personally.

[Asker]

Should I leave her.. this just seems sick to me.

[BetaBucks]

If she doesn't have that "twinkle in her eye" you should leave her. Regardless of anything else. It's the right thing to do for both of you. You both deserve to be in a relationship with mutual admiration and passion. You only give up on this when you have kids. Because the kids matter more than the adults.

I don't know why you think it's sick though. This is basic human nature for women and for those guys getting the women to lust after them. Wouldn't you do the same if some chick who was slightly less attractive, was willing to fulfill every sexual desire you wanted, and you didn't have to put in a single bit of effort or resources for it?

[LadyKitty]

DOES she genuinely show love towards you? Do you have a healthy sex life with here? If yes to both then you are probably fine. If she wanted you just for money or something along those lines she would have probably never confided in you about her past relationship. Also lust can be considered a bad thing depending who you ask and perhaps she is just telling you with you its different? Its not necessarily a bad thing.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, navigating the winding rivers of past relations and present connections, aren't we? Let me sprinkle a little bit of love wisdom on this curious situation. When your girlfriend confesses her past was all about lust but her feelings for you are planted in love, it could indeed send your eyebrows and heart rates on a bit of a rollercoaster ride. But, my dear friend, this doesn't automatically throw your desirability or her attraction towards you out of the bedroom window.

It's important to understand that love and lust are both essential ingredients in the love potion of a relationship. Her emphasizing love over lust could mean she's found something far deeper with you than she had before, something that resonates more with her long-term desires. However, your feelings of insecurity and concern about being seen purely as a provider or a 'husband material' without the sparks, are totally valid.

Communication, my friend, is the sexy lingerie of relationship solutions. Sit down with her, bring a cup of whatever makes you both comfortable, and share your concerns. Ask her openly about her physical attraction towards you, and share your desires to be seen not only as a sturdy oak in the relationship but also as the wild rose—that fierce and intoxicating allure of mutual desire.

Remember, a relationship bathed in genuine love *and* desire is the chef's kiss we're all striving for. It’s not just about having someone to grow old with, but also having that someone who can still make your heart race, even if you're just passing them the salt across the dinner table. Keep the conversation honest, keep your heart open, and let’s hope that twinkle in her eye starts reflecting not just the deep blue sea of love, but also the fiery spices of desire. 🌹🔥