How do I prevent myself from falling in love with her?

[Anonymous]

Before you jump to any conclusion, there is no incel shit in this post.

So, couple of days I escaped a state of Hikikomori and now am slowly returning to a normal social life. I am currently enrolled in 2 courses. I have recently started my course and as of now there isn't any issues I am facing in socializing. There is only little masking I have to do but that's about it. I am also enjoying talking to people after so long.

However there is this girl in my class that is totally my type! She is really pretty and has an amazing and charming personality! Maybe its my years of being a social recluse, but I cannot help but falling in love with her, despite barely knowing her.

Now there are various reasons why I cannot under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, get into a relationship with her.

Firstly, if she rejects me (super high possibility) it will be soo awkward and even painful going to class. Secondly, I am in no positron to start a relationship with anyone as I need to use this time to work on myself. For now, the main priority should be me!

I only plan to look for a relationship once I am in a more stable position in terms of my career and social life. Like I said, as of now I am a recovering Hikikomori.

So here is what I want some help in. Firstly how to control my raging heart from falling in love with this girl whom I only met few weeks ago. How to maintain focus in class. How to not feel hurt if/when she finds a boyfriend in this class and I have to see them together everyday.

I would appreciate any tips on these. Thank you :).

[razelove]

I'd say to flirt with her, even if it's very nervous and awkward to get shot down. You are trying to shed your soft white underbelly. I will say it as clearly as I can. There is no motivator for a man to succeed like pussy.

If you're afraid to even flirt, you will lose your motivation, or wind up buying a mail order bride that cheats on you one day. At your age this is your last "peak" to work out and get women in the 20-25 range. Once you go over 30 it's going to become an uphill battle, no matter what the red-pill movement says. We aren't millionaires. And you lack confidence on top of it.

When you lose that pussy, and the ability to gain the confidence that you can get it in the first place, that opportunity will be gone forever. Your dipstick will never taste that oil again. You'll be getting Phyllis who is 250 an hour, 40, and has 4 baby daddys while your penis silently shrieks at the injustice you subjected yourself to.

It isn't like you run any risk of dying if you get shot down. You'll just judge yourself harshly until the next time you get shot down. So get shot down quickly after, and it won't hurt at all!

[Asker]

I agree with most of what you said except the dating after 30 being a disadvantage part. From my own observation I see tons of young women (younger than 24) get attracted to older men (as old as 40). Sure they are successful men but not in that unachievable success level. Why do you think I only have few more years until I lose sex appeal. Older men are desirable nowadays.

[razelove]

That's a fantasy unless you want a sugar baby. If you want a woman that you can love, and have a family with, rather than a prostitute that is giving you eskimo brothers to share every day, that is what I mean by your time is running out.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

nihilistic levels are rising, pressure is critical, requesting emergency flood

[RavVid]

First isolating is not a bad thing and is not as unnatural as it is implied. Having 1000's of people around you in a city is the unnatural state. Somewhat addictive too if you get dopamine hits. It makes you weak. At the start of the year I decided i was socializing too much and just stopped doing it, wanting to build my self sufficiency.

Isolating is quite natural. In the past men would be isolated in trapping and homesteading and it wasn't a problem. it is only bad if you think it is.

You've included a pic of a cute girl. Obviously we have sexual desires for cute girls. From just that pic we could build up scenarios. It is how our minds work. I still have a thing for Sandra Bullock in Speed; always will have. I think view her as a movie character and as not real. Because she isn't real. You are just seeing a part of her and coming out of an isolated period you are rather vulnerable.

[jvnxs]

Here's an actual answer because some of this lowkey doesn't answer it.

I sympathize with you, it takes a lot of mental strength to come out of being a hikikomori and being a normal person, it is. What girls typically do is think of the person doing something they REALLY hate. Like, picturing it. What I personally do is avoid them and involve myself with different aspects of my life. Make new friends, join some kind of club, just have some fun with life. You're working towards being a better person, so keep at that and remember your goals!

P. S. just remind yourself that she deserves someone who has their shit figured out!

[Asker]

This is actually the most helpful answer here. Thanks for the advice. :)

[jvnxs]

I wish you the best!

[Anonymous]

If you take away her beauty, could you still fall for her? If the answer is no... that's not love. It's obsession.

[AI Opinion]

Stepping out into the sunlight after being a hikikomori? That's brave, and I'm tipping my hat to you! Alright, let's dive into the deep end without getting soaked in love, shall we? 😜

First things first, channel that raging heart of yours into something productive. You've got goals, dreams, and a journey of self-discovery to embark on. Remind yourself every day why you're on this path. Write it down, sing it out, or even dance it if that's your jam!

When it comes to focusing in class, imagine your attention as the most exclusive VIP party - not everyone gets an invite, especially distractions dressed up as crushes. Stay engaged with your studies, participate actively, and maybe find a study buddy (not her!) to keep the academic flames burning.

Seeing her with someone else? Ouch, I know it might sting, but here's where your inner superhero needs to step up. Embrace the pain, then let it go like you're releasing a balloon into the sky. Remember, you're working on becoming the best version of yourself, and that includes mastering the art of resilience.

Lastly, keep mingling and socializing, but set boundaries. It's like flirting without crossing the line - enjoy the interaction, appreciate the beauty around you, but keep your heart locked in a treasure chest for now. One day, when you're ready, you'll find the right person to share that treasure with. Until then, lovebomb your own life with positive vibes and self-improvement!

Keep shining, you're doing great! 💫

[Unit1]

You'll get used to it. It'll work out on it's own over time. Sooner or later you'll find yourself on the unwanted list of men 😏 welcome home 💀

[Pohjolan]

Thinking that you can control whom you are going to fall in love with is not realistic.

Keep yourself busy. I'd recommend hitting the gym. You will eventually get over with it.

[Cheerfull009]

Have a fight with her, then she will ignore you and you keep on study

[Asker]

Brilliant idea. Lemmi just go ahead and ruin my little remaining social life. 😊

[Cheerfull009]

@Asker, in question , you want to get rid of that girl , whose chase you. you want to concentrate on study , so you have to keep your self in distance to that girl,, this does effect your social life with other people

[Anonymous]

Lmao, I just want to know why you stole an image from Komi can't communicate.

[DaBiggestBird]

Turn into a Transformer

[Anonymous]

Why u love her

[Asker]

I literally do not know. 😢

[Opinion Owner]

How do u both look

[Asker]

She is pretty, has a good sense of fashion. I'm average at best in both these areas. Regardless I'm not trying to get in a relationship w her, I just want to stop feeling so attached to a girl I just met.

[Opinion Owner]

How tall are u both

[Asker]

She taller than me lol.

[scott04sa22]

Just ignore her, don't think about her

[LiamJHayden]

Focus on the reasons you cannot.

[Ur1local2bisexual]

There’s no way

[Asker]

Well, then I am effed.