My boyfriend is delusional about his unhealthy diet habits. How can I help him?

[brooker]

My boyfriend used to be overweight, but I met him when he was fit. Although he was bullied in high school, he downplayed it, so I never thought it had a lasting impact. Recently, a comment from his brother triggered unhealthy habits. He’s been intermittent fasting, binge eating, vomiting, and refusing to acknowledge the damage it’s causing. He’s lost 24 pounds since July, struggles with daily tasks, and even had part of his tooth break due to vomiting. Despite my concerns, he insists everything is fine. I’ve tried reasoning and even shouting, but he’s still in denial. How can I help him?

[jvnxs]

Hey so actually this is called an eating disorder. Before I explain any further on what you can do, please do not shout at him. It is evident that he's going through a lot mentally, and being victim to bullying by your peers is something that permanently changes the way you see yourself and others.

So, he evidently has bulimia. (A condition in which you eat in mass, and then purge it by vomiting) which is an eating disorder which is typically due to these things. I think the best you can do is sit down with him and explain to him how much you love him as a person and that you do not see him for who he physically is. Be honest with him, and be kind to him.

As the others have said, he needs an intervention. A therapist is most suitable for this, as this is mainly a mental problem. A doctor though, you need to have him see due to the amount of weight he lost. Have a talk with his brother about triggering him, because evidently it is his fault and it should be discussed how to avoid it.

I wish all the best with your boyfriend, and I hope he makes a healthy recovery. I am very sorry this is happening to you, and I feel for him very much as someone whose best friend has an ED.

[Anonymous]

Fuck. I feel that. Almost ruined my marriage over something like an eating disorder myself. The only thing that really helps for me so far is when I can forget about that feeling, so avoiding triggers is HUGE as well as taking extra steps to make healthy eating as easy as possible.

My husband actually took over cooking for a period of time (I love cooking so usually I'd do it) because I would get in my head over the ingredients and portions and everything. Being able to just be given a plate of food and not have control over all that, let him do that part, it helped me stop thinking about it again. (I trusted him because he is also kind of a health nut, but he's not got any hangups with food like I have.)

I've never done something like make myself throw up so I don't know much about that. Sorry. It could be a completely different thing and what works for me it may not work for him at all. Unfortunately therapy was suggested to me many times for this but I always refused, so that may not work either but is certainly worth a shot as it can work for many people!

The thing I remind myself now when I start being drawn back is I was not happy during that time. It's very hard to keep up with and takes over so much thoughts. When I ignore it I have more time to do things I enjoy and be with my family and friends, and i have to focus on that as more important than being "healthy" or "fixing" my body sometimes just to get through it... It still feels like a bad excuse but I've gotten better at pretending it's normal...

[lightbulb27]

That's tough, he's avoiding the trauma now resulting in bad habits. In essence, being self destructive because of what impacted his mind and heart.

Pray for guidance, talk nicely.

The #1 thing he will want to avoid is his deepest emotional pain. He'd probably rather do anything else.

Therapist, counselor, men's group, get to know Christ.

[ProbablyClueless]

HE has to be the one to see that he has a problem. You've probably done all you can, for now.

[SweetPi]

You can't be is so focused on his goal he won't listen to you or any one. Just let him be or let the relationship end.

Sounds like he is probably ignoring you two in his quest to lose more weight!

The fasting is also making it way worse cause your body is going to store anything it gets as far. Cause it knows you won't be eating again for a long time!

One of the new dangerous food fads that does the opposite.

[boggboss]

I dont think u can possibly speak to friends or family about concerns but it will require him to accept it before he can get help

[DrPepper12]

He needs an intervention STAT! Get his family involved Asap

[1073sucks]

Start meal prepping with him and exercise.

[Makeushiver]

Step back, offer him support if and when he asks. See a therapist

[exitseven]

He needs a reality check. Maybe he needs a doctor to rell him he is abusing his body.

[Jamie05rhs]

Aww. Poor guy. I really feel for him.
I feel for you, too!
Please don't shout at him, though. 😟

[EnjoytheDay777]

He needs therapy. Honestly, it's a total eating disorder.

[noohair]

You can't change another person. He has a mental condition. Is there family that you could go to?