Is my boyfriend Anorexic?

[Anonymous]

I know this is probably a rare situation .. it usually is the other way around

I been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Seems like the past year he has dropped a major about of weight and does not even work out. I literally NEVER see him eat anymore and in the past when I have seen him eat he gets "sick" right after and goes to the bathroom. I feel so stupid when I get hungry because it makes me feel awkward (being a girl) eating around a guy that doesn't want to eat dinner.

He always uses the excuse of his stomach hurts or his tooth hurts.. its always some excuse. But the excuses have been going on for a year now. I know he doesn't eat "meals" he usually will say he got a candy bar for lunch or something of that sort. I have never heard of guys being anorexic but I know there are guys that are. I need some advice on what to do. When I try and make him eat he gets mad and says he can't eat because he don't feel good. But he needs to eat... I worry about him and I would actually like to have "dinner" or "lunch" date with my boyfriend sometime-- I've tried it before and he would eat a few bites and I'd be sitting there eating... It just isn't fun :( Do you think he could be anorexic or he really gets "sick" when he eats...?

[toulouse]

he could actually have stomach problems. or maybe he's sick of food, or maybe he wants to lose weight. you're not going to gain his trust by freaking out. so be calm w/e you decide to do.

stop trying to 'make' him eat. he's not a child. when adults have issues, that does not mean they no longer have dignity. id dump you if I was him.

the fact you want to eat with him,or don't want to be a girl eating more than her boyfriend, as a reason you want to help him, is pathetic.

figure ot who yore actually worried about here. his health or you feeling like a pig. id say you're both unhealthy.

&yes. a lot of people get 'sick' when they eat. so be careful before you start jumping to conclusions.

if he says he's sick accept that he's sick, & suggest he make an appointment with a doctor. say it must be really frustrating getting sick all the time.. how about he make an appointment.

btw, forget about WHY he's not eating for now. the problem is he's losing electrolytes-regrdless of WHY.

if he is eating little& throwing up, he could lose a lot of important minerals. minimally he should get blood work done-if just for dehydration. but getting to the bottom of things -medically first-would be wise as well.

[Asker]

No reason to attack me.. I clearly stated that I am worried about him. If I wasn't worried I wouldn't be trying to find answers. This has been going on for a year so I'm not jumping to conclusions I have tried to get him to see a doc for his stomach prob and he refuses. I find it odd that he won't go. He is going down hill and he may really be sick and I think he is sick because he does not eat right. It's sad to watch but I can't force him to do to doctor OR eat. He isn't MY CHILD as You said.

[toulouse]

Sorry I didn't mean it as an attack. He really should get blood work done.

idk if he's anorexic, or he just doesn't want to see a doctor. a lot of people are stubborn doctors.

Very important he get blood work done. if his sodium falls he can hallucinate or have seizures.potassium gets too low he can have a heart attack. do you mean he really throws up EVERY time, or was that an exaggeration.. because if he does, whether he's anorexic, has aids, has TB syphlus or w/e.. he needs to get checked out.

[Asker]

I would say every single time I have seen him eat (which is only literally 4 bites MAYBE) If he even eats at all he goes to the Bathroom right after and breaks out in sweats and says he is sick.. I asked him to get me something to eat the other night and he agreed.. we went through the drive through and I ordered (he didn't want anything) and when the food got in the car he covered his nose and rolled the window down. Like the smell of food disgusted him...I didn't say anything

[brokenbutbreathing]

Do NOT try to force him to eat. This will make things worse and chances are he'll lose all faith in you.. If he thinks that's how you'll react, he isn't going to tell you anything.

Also, don't be disapproving..

Be supportive. Don't claim to understand if you don't, but make sure he knows you're trying.

Ask him about it. Let him know he can talk you; that you'll listen, won't judge and will always be on his side.

If it is anoxeria or bulimia or some other mental health condition, one of the most helpful things for him is having someone to talk to.

[Asker]

i don't try and force him but I offer to make him special meals that he used to like just to get him to eat. I haven't even brought the idea of him possibly being anorexic up.. I have just kinda watched him and asked him to go to doc to see what is wrong with his stomach but he refuses. My mom thinks he is on some kind of meds he isn't telling me about. I don't even know how to approach the subject. That is why I came here for advice before I did any of that. I want to be there for him.

[brokenbutbreathing]

Be brave and come straight out with it. Just make sure your tone is gentle and caring, but not sympathetic or patronising.

Tell him you're worried about him. Ask what the real reason he doesn't eat is. "no matter what it is, you can tell me.." and the like

[HotPepper302]

Either way, that's not healthy! You should talk to him about it... Not just mention it, but have a serious conversation... Express your concern, and suggest that he see a doctor... If it still continues, you might want to talk to his family about it. Someone's got to look out for him, even if he doesn't want the help. It's better than losing him. Good luck! I hope that everything works out :)

[Anonymous]

Billy Bob Thorton was

[Anonymous]

yes there is a good possibility he is anorexic.