I have body confidence issues and feel like my boyfriend is attracted to bigger women now, what can I do?

Anonymous
I’m 5’3 and 122 pounds. I have a hyperactive thyroid and anemia, plus I’m in the Army so keeping on weight is really hard me to do.

I’ve been skinny shamed my whole life, but really I don’t think I’m skinny or flat at all! So I’ve always told myself when other girls make mean comments on my weight like saying I’m anorexic when I’m not is just those girls being insecure about their own bodies and trying to make themselves feel better.

My boyfriend and I broke up and got back together, but during the time we were apart he slept with a bigger girl. I asked a lot of intimate questions out of jealousy and I’m ashamed for behaving so rudely when it was none of my business and we were broken up anyway, but I’m afraid he likes bigger women now.
He tells me he loves my body, but I feel like he’s just being nice. He hangs out with guy friends who love big butts. Even if their girlfriends don’t have nice butts, just big. Filled with cellulite and saggy. I’m not nagging on their preferences or their gfs, but I’ve slept with a bigger girl before who had large breasts and a large butt. I just didn’t see the appeal in it because of the sagging and cellulite. I have large breasts. I’m a 32 D, and I have an hour glass figure, but my butt just doesn’t poke out or jiggle a lot. I feel like this is what my boyfriend likes and I’m just not that. He does grab my butt and says he loves it, but how do I know he didn’t like this bigger girl’s butt better and that he doesn’t wish I had that? Even though he said she had flabby, saggy butt and saggy boobs.

I started the Depo shot to help gain weight and I’ve been strength training to build up my lower body. But I feel like this is more of a mental thing and it’s hard when society is more supportive of girls with big butts and big boobs now, even if they do have a little chub more than petite girls who appear thin but still have curves like I do. I really never thought I was flat at all, but now I feel like I’m just not enough.
I have body confidence issues and feel like my boyfriend is attracted to bigger women now, what can I do?
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