I'm worried that my friend is beginning to fall back into her old anorexic habits?

[Anonymous]

We've known each other for a long time, and are now roommates in college. I've known about her being anorexic in our Freshman Year of high-school, however, she managed to overcome it on her own. Now, I'm worried that she's falling back into old habits. Her spiral started when her boyfriend of 3 and a half years told her that he 'still loves her, but would love her more if she lost some weight'; the thing is, when they started dating, she was anorexic. She got over it, gained weight back not only from overcoming the anorexia, but also because she got older and gained weight naturally. So now, the reason I'm worried for her currently go as follows; she's gotten a calorie counter app, has started eating less (like tonight for dinner, she ate only a little bit of a breadstick, about 10-12 brussel sprouts, and maybe 2 bites of her salad, if that), and has started exercising a lot more. Her eating less has definatly been something I've noticed, and she's reduced her portion sizes by almost too much. I'm not going to say anything, because that will just start arguments, but I am watching her. I'm extremely worried for her, and don't want to see her fall back into her old habits. How can I handle to situation, what should I look for, etc. in order to try to stop her from potentially falling back into her old anorexic habits.

[BeeNee]

1. Silence is a killer. You don't want to wait until she perhaps goes to far because you didn't want to "hurt her feelings" or get into fights. We're talking about her health. You'd help her if she were choking right... this is her choking.
2. Confront her in a calm, understanding, loving way, in private. Do not yell or demand that she needs to stop everything right now because she's fine the way she is. Denial is a big part of ED's, so if she changes subjects, becomes defensive, etc. don't get sucked in. Focus on your friendship and wanting to make sure she is in the same healthy place she'd gotten to before. You love her, you are concerned for her, etc.
3. Don't become her eating police. Monitoring her like a hawk. Most likely she'll just stop eating when you're near.
4. Put strong emphasis on the fact that you are there to support your friend and are willing to listen any time she needs it, no matter what and that you are not their to judge or make her feel bad about what she may be going through. It sounds counter-intuitive, but avoid talking about the food, or judging her for not eating, or wanting her to eat more. Focus on your friendship and being supportive to her no matter what.
5. If you suspect its only getting worse, yes, professional help is needed. You say she worked it out herself, but ED's often re-occur. Suggest a service, usually they have on campus help, for your friend. Emphasize that we ALL need help from time to time and there is no shame in seeing a professional who can give her that.

[lexieleanne]

If you have any other friends that are aware of her situation, you should discuss this with them as well. Try to come up with a plan to approach her and tell her that she needs to get help. She's going to get upset, and you may argue, but she needs help. The important thing is to make sure you get a group together to talk to her, having multiple people that care will help. This is what my friends did behind my back when I was refusing to get help for my depression and anxiety. I don't know if it will work for your friend, but I started getting help because I realized that there were many people that actually cared about me. If that makes sense. Also, she needs to break it off with this boyfriend of hers. He's a terrible influence. Any guy that thinks that a girl's weight should determine a relationship isn't worth any girl's time. That's disgusting that he would only love her more if she lost weight. He needs to be out of the picture ASAP.

[YoloKitten]

What you need to do is talk to her, don't go up to her like" hey why are you doing this again" go up to her at an appropriate time and say something like " I want you to know that you can talk to me, and I'm here to help. I want to help you. I care about you and I don't want to see you go through this again" you know what I mean? Because when I had like anorexic behaviors ( I never went to a doctor or got diagnosed) all I wanted was someone , my best friend, to talk to me and help me out of that instead of her looking at me and shaking her head. Dont pressure her into talking to you though.