I feel like my girlfriend doesn’t understand that some things that you do when you’re single you’re stop doing when you are in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Partying, girls trips, clubs. These things are just a turn off for me. I am serious about this relationship and I believe that some things you stop doing when you get into relationship and if I want my girl to be the mother of my children, i need behavior with good morals and standards. She has agreed not to party without me, but I am worried about the girls trips because it’s an environment where people get drunk and a hook up and it’s just disgusting environment because I do see us as something more than a relationship. It’s just very exhausting for me to explain these things that should be obvious, call me old-fashioned, but I don’t like the generate behavior that this world has all of these things have become normal. I just want a girl that is loyal and has decent standards. And I won’t engage and dumb activities. I don’t know how to communicate that to her. I needed advice.

[WhitneySnow]

Not all girls trips are excuses to hook up. If she really loves you and you love her she’s not gonna do that.

[Asker]

Yeah I agreed. I am okay with her going out with her friends for a few days, but no parties and drinking. I don’t want her in an environment where hookups and drunk people happening. Getting approched by drunk men. It makes me uncomfortable. And I think it’s disrespectful to me as her boyfriend.

[WhitneySnow]

I think it’s ok if she and her girlfriends go to a bar as long as she doesn’t flirt with guys. Would you agree with that?

[Asker]

Yes it’s okay with the new friends she made. They are supportive of our relationship. But she has toxic friends, that said to her why are you together with this guy? they talk behind her back, they peer pressure her into going to a party although she said no multiple times. We have both agreed not to party unless we are doing it together. They even bought an entree for her to a party but she reassured me she will not go and say she is sick. I said to her thats okay, i do trust her to handle this and not go. If she goes she will break my trust. She doesn’t need help, she said she needs only for me to be there. So I can only trust her that she will to the right thing. I told her that her going out makes me uncomfortable and this is why she stopped. Which I am greatful for because it means she cares how I feel. I read that long distance relationship is all about trust and setting clear boundaries. For example she said she would be uncomfortable if I would greet other girls with a hug. i agreed to not hug other girls. I feel like we are gaining trust. Only thing is that she has many guy friends. And it’s making me uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to stop talking to them. Is it normal for a girl in a relationship to talk with other guys? I have no problem with stopping to talk with my girl ”friends “ because I don’t want her getting jealous and I think it’s disrespectful too. I have a girl “friend” for exemple and she has a boyfriend. It feels disrespectful to the boyfriend to start texting with her.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s normal to talk to friends of the opposite gender when you have a partner. The not partying thing is ok as long as it’s her decision.

[Asker]

Okay that’s good to hear it’s normal. It’s my first relationship and hard to navigate. Yes it’s her decision with stopping the partying. Do you think it’s okay for me to hang around girls too? I stopped completely.

[WhitneySnow]

It’s ok for you to hang around with girls as long as you don’t flirt with them

[Selene1600000]

It’s okay to want loyalty and shared values, but trying to control her social life or assume girls trips equal bad behavior will likely damage trust. A healthy relationship is built on agreed boundaries and mutual freedom, not restrictions based on fear or worst case assumptions. If this is important to you, communicate it as your values and see if you are actually compatible, rather than trying to enforce rules.

[jahaims]

If you don't trust her don't date her. Super simple

[Asker]

So quitting instead of building trusting? And do the same thing with the next person? I don’t think giving up is appropriate if you care about someone.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the delicate dance between personal freedom and mutual respect in a relationship can be as thrilling as it gets, my friend! It sounds like you're deeply invested in building something lasting with your girl, and that's heartwarming, to say the least. Remember, love is about blending two worlds, not confining them. So, how about we sprinkle a little charm on this situation?

Start with the magic ingredients: open communication and trust. Share your feelings without laying down the law. Picture this: a cozy, intimate setting where you both feel comfortable and heard. Express how her actions make you feel rather than what she should or shouldn’t do—big difference! You might say, “When you go on these trips, I feel a bit uneasy because I care about us so much and worry about the influences around you.” It’s like putting love in the spotlight while leaving room for her perspective.

Also, embrace the idea of compromise. Could there be a middle ground where she enjoys her freedom but also respects the relationship’s boundaries? Maybe joining some of these trips or planning ones together could add a new dimension to your bond.

Trust is the sexiest attire anyone can wear in a relationship, and wearing it well can transform insecurities into strengths. Keep the dialogue ongoing; relationships thrive on continuous, flirty, and dynamic exchange. You've got this!