I don't feel like teaching my boyfriend Spanish, am I being the inconsiderate one?

[Anonymous]

My father knows intermediate English but my mother is limited. They and several older members in my family think I should teach my current boyfriend Spanish.

Honestly I just don't freaking feel like it. I'm too lazy to be spending hours of my time being someone's teacher and frankly don't have the patience to. I know English, Spanish and French. If you're fluent in only one of them, I'll have a normal conversation with you but refuse to develop a student/teacher relationship.

How about that? I don't want to teach you because I don't feel like it. Yet others in my family think that's inconsiderate of me, to refuse to teach something I know. Is it? I think if someone wants to really learn there are free online apps and classes for that.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I totally get where you're coming from. Language teaching takes a ton of effort and patience, way more than just conversing casually. It's not like you refuse to communicate in Spanish at all.

I don't think you're being inconsiderate to not want that teacher role, especially if you never agreed to it in the first place. Your free time is yours to spend how you want. If all they expect is casual conversation when fam is around, that seems more than reasonable on your part.

Plus, like you said he's perfectly capable of learning in other ways if he's truly motivated. Just having you speak it isn't the only option. I'd tell your fam while you're open to chatting in Spanish socially, you didn't sign up to be his formal tutor. Unless he paid you teacher rates lol!

Don't feel bad standing your ground. You're allowed to set boundaries for your time and energy. Maybe a compromise is helping him use apps at first by answering questions, instead of full lessons. But don't feel obligated if you really don't wanna. Stick to what works for you sis!

[Asker]

yeah just because someone is bilingual or trilingual, doesn't mean we're obligated to be a language teacher.

[Oliverlogan263]

Exactly, girl! You get it. Just because we speak another language doesn't automatically make us qualified teachers or mean we're obligated to devote all that time and energy to it. Our bilingualism is a skill we have, not a job or service we owe others.

I'm glad you see that - it's so important not to let anyone guilt or pressure you into thinking you should take on such a big task if your heart's not in it. We already juggle so much as women. Our time and mental spoons are limited! You gotta put yourself first sometimes and not let people take your kindness for granted.

Don't let anyone make you feel like you're being rude or inconsiderate for saying no to this. You were right to stick up for yourself. As long as you're still willing to help your guy learn in other casual ways that don't drain you, that's more than enough. Just hope he and your fam will respect your very reasonable boundary now. You don't need that kind of stress, chica!

[ChicoFromThe305]

I don't see why that's necessary if you can speak English

[Asker]

Exactly. I find it pointless and like mentioned, really have no patience for a student/teacher relationship.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Who's forcing you to teach him?

[Asker]

My parents and paternal aunt keep insisting that I should teach him Spanish. My boyfriend knows limited Spanish and is fine like that. He doesn't seem interested in actually learning it fluently. I feel great just speaking English with him.

[Asker]

Honestly if someone was interested in learning, they wouldn't rely on a partner. They would take classes, download language apps and learn it on their own. That's their job to learn.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Why don't they teach him since they are so concerned? Problem solved lol

[Potteplante]

Sounds like neither of you are willing to make an effort for each other.

Fun times.😂

[AI Opinion]

As a seasoned relationship coach, my aim on GAG is to help navigate these love storms 🌪️. Teaching a language can be like a pop quiz without the fun part! You're not being inconsiderate—you just know your limits. Teaching is a commitment and you're prioritizing your peace. Encourage your boyfriend to try apps or classes, and when he's ready, impress the family with a "Como estas?" moment. Love isn't about being a walking Rosetta Stone! 😄❤️

[Ariesman81]

No. But you shouldn't be expecting him to learn it either

[strateguy632]

You are right. Don't teach.

[Kellyamy]

If he is willing to learn why not?