Would you consider it cheating if your partner slept with someone of their same sex?

Question

If I found my wife in bed with another woman, I would still consider it cheating and act of consequence - and the woman will better get out fast, because I would apply gender equality and treat her like I'd do to a guy. Some guys say that "with another woman it doesn't count", but for me it's bullcrap. There's still the lying, the deceiving and hiding.

I'm not the jealous type and we are always open for honest conversation about exploring, but any form of bad faith and deceiving closes the deal for me.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Admittedly I would be less angry if she cheated with another woman vs another man. If it was another man then that is a direct insult to me that I am not “good enough” for her as a man. But still it’s cheating.

Also the other woman vs. a man could actually be far more dangerous for other reasons. She could easily disguise herself as typical platonic friend. Most guys are not going to be suspicious if their girlfriend/wife is just hanging out with another woman. The other woman could also poison my gfs/wife much more easily vs another man. Women chit chat, gossip and rub off on each other a lot. They trust each others opinions more. That makes the other woman even more dangerous.

Unit1 · Accepted Answer

I'm most likely damaged if I come up with the idea to have a 3-some. I've had 3-somes 2 times (paid) and I loved both times.

It might be cheating but if I get to have fun in a 3-some with 2 girls? Eeeeh, hard to pick the right words to describe it. It's not like I'm willing to let my partner off the hook for cheating but then i'll get something out of it if we're gonna have a 3-some sex session, knowing i'll love it. Tricky, tricky.

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

If you mean having sex then yes that's cheating but if not I've slept with loads of women in bed lol 🤣 and never seen it as cheating. Sometimes me and girl friend will share a bed if we're on a girls holiday and can't afford a bigger room or at sleepovers

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Yes but I'd be more mad that they did it without me. At least invite the other person over for a 3sum

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, love and its tangled web! So here's the thing: cheating often boils down to trust and the agreements you share, not just the gender of the third party involved. If your relationship’s ground rules are broken, then it's like finding pineapple on a pizza—unexpected and not everyone’s cup of tea! Sure, honesty is the glue of a healthy connection, and deceit can sting like a bad sunburn. If trust is shattered, it’s totally fair to feel betrayed, regardless of who the other person is.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

My ex-wife did cheat with another woman and we got divorced. Hell yes it's cheating!

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes it’s still cheating , anything a partner can do with someone else behind their partners’ back, is cheating

mandyfire98 · Answer

Yes. Just in general it's still cheating.

Sonorous · Answer

Yeah but it wouldn't hurt as much.

Ez-Bri-Z_v2 · Answer

Well, that all depends on whether or not she asked me first. We are poly so I don't care if she sleeps with other people, we just need to talk about it first so everyone is safe.

Now, if she were to do it without asking, I'd consider that a breach of trust. I don't think I'd leave her but I'd definitely be hurt.

NathanDavis · Answer

it would only be cheating if she had not talked to me about it first, and had planned to keep it secret but then got caught, so yes... cheating is cheating

now, if she talked to me about it first, and if she wanted to be with another girl while she is with me... that is something that it might not bother me and I might think about it, if certain, very specific circumstances are met... lol

sawno · Answer

If she just does it absolutely. I am openminded to it though, romantically I am very monogamous but I am not a girl and if my next girlfriend is bi we could just talk about it and lay down some terms if its something she needs. So if she were to be honest with her desire and we discussed it assuming i'd deem it safe she'd get to do it. But if she just does it without telling me the std risk alone would make me dump her not to mention the distrust i'd have.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Obviously, it is still cheating, but beating up on a woman doesn't say much for you now, does it?

Orion84 · Answer

Without partner's knowledge or consent = cheating.

It's the act of betrayal that makes it cheating, not the sex of the person with whom they're cheating.

If it's discussed beforehand, and both partners are agreeable, that's one thing, but doing it without their knowledge? 100% cheating.

KennethNoisewater · Answer

Absolutely. The easiest way around that would be for the wife/girlfriend to just ask the husband/boyfriend about it. Ask if he either wants to watch or join. As long as people are upfront with one another and not doing things behind the others back there shouldn’t be a problem.

Malbonaviro · Answer

It's cheating because sex is supposed to be used for trust and connection, not twisted games of domination. She clearly gets mutual pleasure from her friend and not you. Unless you're not really the man of the house, I would consider trying to find a new relationship instead of letting her take advantage of her current "situationship".

DrPepper12 · Answer

Physical intimacy is cheating so yes.

I disagree in treating the other party as you would a man; Just from my perspective, it never made any sense to me to get upset with the person they were cheating with. In fact it's inconsequential. The main thing is your spouse and their decision, not who they did it with.

elizamichale1 · Answer

I would have him his way with a woman than being gay tbh

ArrowheadSW · Answer

If it wasn't cleared with the person ahead of time, then I would consider it to be cheating.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Yes. Men mostly that say it's not cheating may as well be homophobic they're invalidating same sex relationships because they're sexually aroused by it.

Kithavon · Answer

An intimate moment is an intimate moment no matter same or opposite sex I e been on both sides fun y to admit but both my wives left me for another woman and both did it right under my nose. well my second wife I didn't know she was cheating but she was bi age even slept with my best friend. So see an intimate moment is a intimate moment.

Anonymous · Answer

Well women cheat 90% of the time at some point because they aren't loyal anymore to just one man or one guy and they also initiate 80+% of divorce or breakups. I don't wanna pursue women like that anymore. I'd rather be in a cabin somewhere in the North West Territories eating baked beans next to the fire place then deal with some satanic, delusional, bipolar female of today.

AviatorTom · Answer

Yes, next question...

Marathonmama · Answer

Me and my best friend, who’s totally hot tiny 5’2 100 pounds with big boobs , blonde hair and a booty. Great legs too had sex on a vacation, our two families took a vacation and our husbands watched. It’s not cheating if your spouse knows

4ngelic · Answer

if a boyfriend was sleeping with a dude, i'd also see it as cheating but i wouldn't be at all as angry as if it was with a girl.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Um... fuck yes? I don't see why the gender of the person my partner cheated with should matter. Cheating is cheating.

worldscolide · Answer

Cheating is cheating, end of story. They would be escorted from my home at gun point.

meepmeeperton · Answer

I would still consider it cheating but at least it could be somewhat hot to watch as opposed to just getting cucked

Ironic_Method · Answer

If we haven't talked a out it prior, absolutely. But we are good at communicating so it's not an issue.

RingOfFire · Answer

It wouldn't be "cheating" because my relationship with my wife would be over. The only exception would be if the other woman was hot enough and they both agreed to a threesome. 😀

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

Of course I count it as cheating, disgusting

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Yes I would still consider that cheating lol

MotherEarth2020 · Answer

Cheating is Cheating no matter what they want to call it

soe11 · Answer

Personally I don't mind, my girlfriend sleep occasionally with her female friends,  Some occasions her female friends sleeping with me too.

Babygirl_S · Answer

No! But I can’t be attracted to him if he’s sucking another man’s penis or getting penetrated. If he’s a top, I don’t care. I might even find it hot.

Quigly · Answer

Monogamy is dead, most people are just getting married for financial reasons. They no longer believe in exclusivity to one person just for moral bookkeeping reasons. It's not cheating if it's a loveless marriage.

molonski2 · Answer

Its cheating all right , and you feel it when you've lived it , just as I have had happen.

katiesmuff · Answer

Yes that is cheating if it wasn't with your knowledge and approval.

Darwin_n_chill · Answer

Sounds like a missed opportunity to try to finagle a threesome, to me.

genericname85 · Answer

everytime they sleep with anyone who's not in our monogamous relationship, it's cheating. simple as that.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Fucking someone else is fucking someone else, regardless of gender. Yes it’s cheating

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Some guys are just horny idiots.. It definitely is cheating..

Peridot25 · Answer

Don’t matter if it’s the same sex or opposite sex, cheating is still cheating.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes. Its inmate trust betrayed. Gender is irrelevant.

dfdfdffffdfdf · Answer

i find its hot

Ladsin2 · Answer

Yeah it's cheating, but I probably wouldn't put hands on her, while I would put hands on the fella.

Raaj4you · Answer

Yes, it's 100% cheating. Why does she need anyone else when I am there to fulfill her sexual needs?

PointOfNoReturn · Answer

Personal feelings.. cheating is triggered first in the mind. Where the mind wonders the heart follows. Gender be damned. Same sex is still cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

Only if another guy saw it or joined. A one-on-one, or me there, is completely fine.

AmeerX · Answer

How do you perform the natural obligations if you sleep with same sex 🙄

bolverk · Answer

Cheating is cheating irrespective of the affair partner's sex.

Julia987 · Answer

Of course its cheating  You don't need to ask Its not about the gender Its about the act

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with you. I’m all for bisexual exploration, but do it when you’re single.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a problem if she doesn't tell me and if she doesn't share. If she wants to play with another girl, I get to play too.

foxsquirrell · Answer

It's infinitely worse if she done it with a man. That I surely can't contemplate to forgive.

Loneranger1987 · Answer

Not if it's just sex and not mental and emotional cheating

nawtee_me · Answer

Being intimate with anyone other than your partner is cheating if you ask me….

LEGENDARY4200 · Answer

I would consider that still cheating unless it was okd

Cheerfull009 · Answer

It depends upon the person , whether he accepts his wife sleeping with other man, Muslim culture doesn't allow

Penelope79 · Answer

If both of you are ok with it then it’s not. If you’s have your primary partner consent. Behind their back no.

Anonymous · Answer

well he's certainly not thinking about me in that moment so yes I would say it is cheating

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah but I would have an open policy so just notify me beforehand so I don't walk into it

Giannishorny · Answer

Obviously yes, since it was done without my consent

QuietRunner · Answer

no I'd invite her and the other woman to bed

rosemilk · Answer

YES. cheating is cheating.

Would you consider it cheating if your partner slept with someone of their same sex?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said