I think I do. My ex who is also my best friend and I had a long talk today and he reminded me of our pact. That if we are both still single by 35, we would marry each other. I was shocked he brought it up. There was a lot he said today that shocked me.
It made me reflect on our relationship and friendship. We are so compatible. But it was just bad timing. I was not mentally in the right headspace to be in a relationship and neither was he.
Now we have this friendship and bond we're rekindling and I think that one day we may become something more again when we're both more mature and mentally stable.
okay- ask yourself just what it is about the present that is preventing you from having a relationship with him? Does your family hate him? Are you both flat broke? Do you live 3000 miles apart and both have jobs that you love and do not want to give up? Is he married to somebody else? Saying you are in the wrong "headspace" whatever that means doesn't cut it. Real love is the only headspace that you need.
I understand that you are sad that you broke up with him after so long. It is hard on so many different levels.
Relationships are often awkward and they defy logic. They require a lot of work and if both people are not willing to do the work they will fail. This is why there are so many divorces. Everyone wants to live happily ever after but nobody wants to do the work.
I agree with you. It's not just being in the wrong headspace. We also live far away from each other and money was an issue because we both don't make a lot of money right now. So I should have said that as well. He's saving up for a house but that's going to take a few years before he gets one and I am not where I want to be career wise which brought on the depression that I had and made him sort of shut down because my depression took a toll on him. It was just not really the right time to be together. But once I am making a lot of money and he is too and live near each other, we can maybe give it another shot.
I know and I also get what you are saying. Relationships take a lot of work and I didn't want to opt out, he did. But from our recent convo I think he regrets it.
I've met a lot of people over the years that could have been the right person had the timing and circumstances been different, so I agree with "right person, wrong time".
I used to but now I’m like nahh there's way too many fish in the sea. If we ain't get that shit right the first time or two, we ain't meant for eachother. I am happy to continue exploring until i find someone worthy of putting all my effort back into
I always felt he didn't try hard enough to visit you. He always made excuses and expected things from you that even he wasn't doing. But you know him better than me so do what you feel is best for your future
Oh that is gonna have to change if he wants to be serious with me again. A lot is going to have to change. We will have that talk when he gets back from his trip. If he wants things to be serious then he's going to have to truly commit his time to me more especially now that he's quit his second job. There's no more excuses.
Very much!! Someone that I really care about and could fall in love with who would be the right person either I was born too early or he was born too late. 😞
On GAG, I aim to help you navigate the tricky waters of love and relationships! 🚤 So, right person, wrong time—oh, the sweet pain of cosmic irony! It's like you found the perfect playlist, but the Wi-Fi's out. Sometimes, timing is the mischievous prankster of relationships. People grow, circumstances change, and perspectives evolve. Your pact is adorable and suggests a strong connection. 🌟 Whether you end up together or not, this journey of friendship and maturity can lead to wonderful places. When the time is right, you'll know. 😉✨
I have to say I disagree with that only because I've heard of stories where couples were not able to be together when they were young due to different circumstances but ended up together later on in life. Kinda like The Notebook.
Nope. There's no such thing as "the right person", there's "a right person", who you're willing to work with for a shared future, one you choose despite of ourside circumstances being harsh.
You two were simply not willing to put in the work and compromise to be right for each other. Who knows, maybe you two one day will become someone the other finds worthy of putting in the work for. Cross my fingers for you two.
Gaurd yourself make sure he makes you his first priority and it doesn't matter how busy he is he must spend time with you 24/7 make sure he is not a mommas boy. You must come first to him before his mom or siblings! . Men who choose mommy and siblings first before their girlfriend make hourble husband.
Thanks. I will keep that in mind. But it's his friends that I have to worry about. Not really his family. They seem to be more in his life than his family. But I will make sure he does!
I don't know what I believe about that. I can tell you that I've definitely met several of the right kinds of people. It seems like, if someone doesn't think the timing is right, the relationship will never happen with them. Maybe that makes them the wrong person then?
A lot of people our age spent a really long time focusing on other things (things that I think are the wrong things to focus on) like career and/travelling the world, and that happened at the detriment of personal relationships. I've heard women say such stupid, lame reasons for why they weren't ready to date over the years. I have no doubt that men do the exact same
My bear gal pal wanted to make a similar pact back in 2022 if her relationship didn’t work out. Actually, she said she was dragging me to the alter. Fast forward to 2023 and she says if her relationship gets worse she was ending things and joining the 4B movement. Seems I am off the hook! Not that I believed her for a moment as she has a long history of flaking out … which is why I friend zoned her in the first place. We too had shared interest in one another long ago. I just didn’t tolerate her constant flakiness.
Yes. I do believe in the right person wrong time because society literally drives people apart against their own will. Older people drive people apart against their own will. You really don't have choices in a free society because you aren't really free, especially when your parents beat you into submitting to society during your most critical ages and then tells you you're free when you don't really have freedom. I can't just walk down the street at night anywhere because a cop might mess with me. I can't just meet my soul mate and be her lover because her parents have unrealistic expectations and look down on me. It's very obvious anybody who doesn't understand this is in fact a manipulative narcissist.
I come to believe it’s the wrong one all the time. Maybe because I’m not the type of guy who wants to get married, never had been I was left with a large sum of money when my dad died. So I have a beautiful house lotta nice cars motorcycle and a bunch other shit that I enjoy. I also enjoy different women in my life. A lot of them said that they would marry me if I asked them to but that alone scares me. That’s when I let them go. I really care about them. I never let any of them move in with me, but I guess you gotta be that type of person that wants to get married. I don’t know.
Firstly, I would say kudos to you both for rekindling and rediscovering your relationship. For me recently separated, I now wonder whether marrying at 21 after a short spell comes under this umbrella? My wife and I have split on amicable terms, but I wonder if we’d waited a bit longer to get married then things might’ve been different.
There never is right person wrong time. And you two are crazy to wait that long to get married to each other. Just do it now, why do you both wait. Are you two so involved in getting side action?
Money is one of the biggest reasons why. We both aren't making a lot of money right now and trying to get to a place where we can live comfortably before getting married. By 35, we should be in a place to get married.
I used to, because I wanted that to be true. But time and time again I've been proven it was right person right time, just not the way I hoped for, but yet another lesson.
Nope, I don't think timing is coincidental, I don't believe anything is so for there to be a right time, then coincidences would have to exist, which I personally don't believe in.
All I believe is that a man will receive their first flower at his funeral because women will never bother giving one to their partner. They only see men as providers or more specifically ATMs!
Yes I agree big time with this statement of right person wrong timing…. it personally happened to me but luckily that person came back into my life and we are happily together!
I don't think he's gaslighting me. That would mean he's manipulating me in some way which is not the case in this situation. I know full well what I'm getting myself into and I know he has issues but so do I. He's not perfect but he's trying to be a better man.
We're going to have that talk when he gets back from his trip. If he's not going to go there with me again then I will not wait for him to come around. I will just move on. Life is too short to be waiting around.
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