Why do men always "have to be" the strong ones in the family and in a relationship? Why are they not allowed to show weakness?

Question

#InternationalMensDay

MisterWack · Accepted Answer

Stereotyping, Societal Pressures, How They Were Raised, How Role Models In The Community Shaped Them, Toxic Influencers, Tradition, Etc.

Basically, I don’t buy into gender pressures or societal norms. What I believe is that, every individual is an individual worthy of love, worthy of support, and worthy of compassion & dignity & simple basic decency. You are a gentleman/lady when you fight for what you believe in, stand up for the little guy, help any way you can and be assertive for a common good while having the backbone to admit when you are wrong then course correct to be the best version of yourself while knowing being honest to yourself is how you are honest all around. In simple terms, a good person. That is what I believe in.

A female teacher of mine pushed onto me “boys don’t cry”, a female friend of mine wanted to help setup the classroom yet the female teacher refused to let her since the boys were born stronger…. Again, these stereotypes can be labeled by anyone and pushed onto literally anybody of that group / against that group. Why not instead of putting people down, we lift them up?

Let’s work beyond gender and beyond individual to start uplifting folks, not tearing them down. Men, your feelings matter and you are entitled to share when you are feeling low & need some support. Women, your man is capable of emotion just hear him out & support him in a way that works for him. Uplift one another, don’t shun one another.

lil_will_12 · Accepted Answer

Its a long chain, and its not an easy one to break. It mainly comes down to how someones father acts and raises them, if the father is tough on his child and pushes these ideas of “masculinity”, the child will grow up with the same ideas/morals, become like their father, and add to the chain. And no, i dont think its a good chain.

There are some men who still think its soft to show emotions or open up, but what is worse is bottling it in, which can result in anger or violence in certain cases

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think it just comes natural to a lot of men. I remember when my older brother hung himself my mother became a basketball, myself and my siblings were having a hard time but my father had to keep us all together and look after us, he had to go back to work a month after because bills needed paid and we were all depending on him. He had a real tough time during this. The stress of it all mounted on him and you could see my father who was a tall handsome man litteraly age 20 years in a few months. You would be supervised during tough times like that how many people try to take advantage of what they perceive as weakness and vulnerability. If my father hadn't stepped up or had died shortly after then I believe my family would have fallen very hard.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

They are allowed emotions other than anger. It's just they'll get called a homophobic slur or a pussy by other men mostly. Probably what's considered toxic masculinity. Men should probably stop treating each other like that.

#internationalMensDay.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Helping folks navigate the wonderful world of relationships is my jam! Society often expects men to be the "strong ones," but letting emotions in can be a game-changer. 🌟 Embracing vulnerability can actually bring partners closer and create a deeper connection. It's not about weakness—it's about being real and authentic! Emojis aren't just for texts; emotions aren't just for women. Spread the love, and let's redefine strength together!

1

exitseven · Answer

This goes back thousands of years. Women instinctly are attracted to the strongest man in the tribe. This is because they needed protection for themselves and their offspring. Men pass these traits down to their own sons. I know that my father always projected strength and as one of my role models I tended to imitate when he did. I only saw him cry once.

I tried to pass this along to my own sons. Good or bad I never let them see me get overly emotional and even in the worst situations I never panicked and never shrank from my duty.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

That, ‘mandy’ went straight to insults and shaming clearly demonstrates she is part of the segment I spoke of. Further, she cannot handle anyone disagreeing with her commentary thus blocking them so as to appear somehow right when the other does not respond further demonstrates her low character. That I challenger her to place her finger upon where she claims I say, “All women.” I do not. I said, “A segment of women.” Huge difference. That she does not understand men teasing one another as a form of bonding versus men shaming one another which is rarely done by men to other men. Apparently differing perspective does not fit her anger or hate towards men narrative. In other words, she is part of that segment of women. Part of the problem. Clearly she takes zero accountability as she plainly demonstrates and used the block option as a weapon to make herself feel superior. Just an example of the sort of woman men should avoid…

Anonymous · Answer

Men are valued by both sexes for being strong, physically and emotionally, whereas women are valued more for being kind and nurturing. It's an inherent part of human nature, and the expectation from both sexes, whether they admit it or not.

@mandyfire98 is correct that men do more overt "shaming" of other men who show weakness, but not by much. What women do tend to do more is just not be attracted to men who show weakness.

Women may be somewhat kinder in how they outwardly react to male weakness in discussions like this, but they are just as brutal in how they judge men for it. Neither men nor women respect men who show weakness; women just pretend to be less judgmental about it while still behaving in ways that demonstrate their judgement.

BadApple69 · Answer

It’s the way we are raised. We are raised to be the protector and breadwinner of the family.
Here is the shirt I am wearing today…. (Tried to put an image here but gag didn’t like it.

The shirt says “for those I love I will do great and terrible things”

And this is exactly 100% how I was brought up to think.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Country based Upbringing based Social class based Personality based When examining these factors, they will balance or clash with each other, the result is ever-changing depending on who is looking and who is being looked at?

lorenzomichael · Answer

Because us real men believe that women are the softer side of our masculinity. It’s in our DNA So that’s why we don’t show weakness. We realize we need to be tough, strong, and brave. Unless the man is gay then he’s weak, sensitive, vulnerable, and unmasculine. Basically a little pansy.

dragoblack · Answer

Because in the USA women have been taught that men need to pay for an entire family and women just need to be there. Simply put they were taught that it's a mans job to pamper them and give them a good life... all that is, is using men. So women get the ick, when men do what they were not taught that men should be like.
Best relationships & marriages come from finding a best friend, that one can have romantic benefits with.

Miristheiss · Answer

They can.

With their male friends/fathers/brothers.

Maybe after the crisis is over they can let it out with their guy friends. In the moment, during the crisis, they have to stay focused, grounded, take charge and step up.

Unit1 · Answer

Lady, think about it. Who wants a not so strong man? Women don't really have respect for a not so strong man, not that i blame them.

ihateTaylorSwift · Answer

Because in a girls eyes Men have to be winners not quitters Otherwise they might as well be pussy'z It's always just to make her happy never about him

Makeushiver · Answer

Showing weakness does not indicate a lack of strength anymore than courage is lack of fear. courage is feeling the same fear as everyone else does but acting despite feeling it.

Agape93 · Answer

They are allowed, they just stigmatized each other, and suffer from the consequences of enforced gender norms that we learned too because of them.

Anonymous · Answer

you have plenty of men fighting to be breadwinners or the "man" of the house. YET, you're complaining they have to be strong?

you can't be a breadwinner if you're weak, buddy... thats not the way it works.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Because if men showed any sign of weakness, women would use that to their own advantage. Women would judge, criticize, ridicule, etc Men who show weakness.

Nikki1989 · Answer

They don't. It is a harmful stereotype rooted in traditional gender roles.

hotman5 · Answer

im allowed to show weakness but as a guy i have to just suck it up i like being patient masculine manly male boy whatever you wanna call it , im comfortable in my own skin

alice55 · Answer

Depend on your country in mine they're allowed to

paledreams · Answer

The woman can be weak the man can be weak - there's. A happy couple right there ❤️❤️

TheStaleMarshmellow · Answer

Apparently it's a universal turn off. So yeah

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

for all time, men have the burden of performance

WhitneySnow · Answer

I agree with you

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

Girl what? Lol 😆 pickme101

Crazzyyworld · Answer

it's all about sex.. nothing personal

Anonymous · Answer

Because chicks find weak men repellent!

Why do men always "have to be" the strong ones in the family and in a relationship? Why are they not allowed to show weakness?

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Why should we encourage only men to be strong?

Why do men always "have to be" the strong ones in the family and in a relationship? Why are they not allowed to show weakness?

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Why should we encourage only men to be strong?

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