Are men to be the authority in a romantic (hetero) relationship? Why or why not?

[Ellie-V]

All things back to this idea that folks have about a woman’s duty to submit (whether they are religious or not) to their husbands.

Going along with whatever the dude wants most of the time except in cases where it puts the lady and maybe the kids (if any) in some serious crazy danger.

If the lady has any opposing views or different opinions or maybe even worries, she has to approach very lightly and humbly so to not challenge the man or make him feel emasculated.

Anger and negative feelings should always be kept to yourself. Positive and inviting attitudes only in the presence of your male partner/boyfriend/husband.

Usually his plans are to always to seen. His vision prioritized.
And as a woman, little to no complaints about anything they don’t like are to be managed because he is the authority. He is the alpha male (biblical or otherwise). And more than likely in this relationship, his headship would include him being the financial provider.

Quarreling, being argumentative, combative, or even just too direct about how you feel is mostly disrespectful.

Submission is following his lead, carrying out his given task, farthing his purpose for the unit of the relationship... again unless he’s doing something extremely stupid or dangerous.

Updates

+1 y

If you want a piece of the MHO cake, respond with a cake emoji

[Jjpayne]

I answered this already and said that it could be done equally. Where both opinions are valid and if one does not agree, you talk until you both agree on something.

But I think the goal here is to be reasonable and practical.

Girls are probably going to hate me but emotions could be a factor into why man of the house was said.

If a person is high on emotions they might not think as clear as someone that was grounded.

So to be fair and equal this out. You wait to discuss big things for when both the man and the woman are calm and not running off of high emotions.

That, to me, is the only thing that would make sense as to why "man of the house" is a thing.

[Lliam]

I would be nice if it weren't so. Two people in a relationship should be equal. They should have equal respect for each other's intellect, desires and contributions. Gender "roles" aren't set in stone. And women shouldn't put up with being treated as underlings.

[DizzyDesii]

He can rule most of what goes down in the bedroom, but outside of it, i’m the boss for the most part. I’m usually the one organizing things, planning stuff to do and holding everything together. Outside the bedroom he just needs to make sure yo show effort. Play your part in being respectful/caring, working hard and assuring to spend quality time with me. Thats all i really ask

[DizzyDesii]

🎂
https://i.gifer.com/Gna8.gif

[Agape93]

Lmao no. I want a partner, an equal. If I wanted to date an “authority”, i would have chosen to get with a soldier and never do anything else. Just waste away.

[winterfox10]

Your interpretation that the woman is expected to simply keep her mouth shut might have been true in the past, but it’s definitely not true these days (thankfully); nor do I think that “keep your mouth shut” was ever the true intention. What men want in life basically boils down to respect. I want the woman I’m romantic with to respect me, not be controlled by me.

[Ellie-V]

The interpretation is not mine. I’m pulling from an article I read. Also, it is implied that silence is the demonstration of respect and when there’s something you need to say as a woman you have to tread very lightly. Just being soft and humble, removed from negativity so that the man is neither emasculated nor challenged.

[Derekk]

In the bedroom sure. Outside of that, I don't want to feel as though I'm above my partner in any way shape or form. Unless she gets off to the idea generally and wants to always be submissive, but that probably would be too much effort for me.

[Grond21]

Ummmm, no. You just took an idea (the husband having more authority) and slapped a whole bunch of other crap on it. Misogyny, classic stereotypes, and abuse. Anyone who advocates for such things is pushing an destructive paradigm.

Now, unrelated to that, if the couple decides one of them is the leader, and can do it such that they both love and respect the other, more power to them

[Ellie-V]

I mentioned no misogyny and definitely didn’t say anything about abuse. Now maybe you added that, but I will agree that I pulled from classic stereotypes since I’m talking about more a cutout trad dynamic.

[Grond21]

Well, if someone is forced to hide their feelings and not share them, and to treat the other's feelings as inherently more valuable, that seems pretty abusive to me.

As for the misogyny, you're right. I did add that in there, because I assumed that the couple were implying that because the husband was male That, in their case, they use it as a justification. But perhaps, you would make the same question if the woman was the authority?

[Ellie-V]

I’m basing it off of this article I plan to make a response to thetransformedwife.com/.../

But in the question I made I am detailing a dynamic without any justification. I just want to know people's thoughts on men being authoritative in relationships removed from bias

[Grond21]

I don't have any problem with the man having authority in the relationship. Note I didn't say all the authority, but the authority such that he has the final say. However, there HAS to be mutual love and respect.

I will read the article

[Grond21]

Read it. And I have no problem if someone wants to live like that, but it's quite extreme. And I really don't like her attempt to tie it to religion. As if only women who are totally submissive in everything can be considered holy/godly. That's ridiculous

[asker9030]

Absolutely not. Why would men have all the authority when a relationship is complete by both the partners?

[Ellie-V]

Maybe the woman would have direct authority over kids if she has any

[IlluminatiExposed]

It's men's nature to lead and women's nature to follow. There may be satisfactory relationships where that isn't the case but I've never heard about it.

[Snakeyes7]

I would rather be in control in the relationship because that works for some reason. It’s more of a “I’m going to do this, unless you have any other ideas” kind of outlook.

[mrgspoter]

Wow you have had a bad time with men, I'm opposite to that I need a strong lady no slave as that what you described there a slave.

[Ellie-V]

Why would you assume that when this question has nothing to do with my personal life?

[mrgspoter]

Why say it then?

[mrgspoter]

If no men are like this you know why say it..

[Ellie-V]

I didn’t say men were like this. I ASKED if men should be authoritative figures in relationships. You would know that if you actually bothered to read.

Also, I pulled from an article I read thetransformedwife.com/.../

Which I never said that I agreed or disagreed with the ideas mentioned. I just wanted other people’s opinions.

So you can stop pulling assumptions out of your ass now.

[mrgspoter]

And then you said all that extra stuff, so now I've no idea what your talking about or what to say to answer you as offcourse I read it it's why I'm confused. com

[mrgspoter]

Did you read it before you sent it is more the question here chic

[mrgspoter]

Nope it's okay 😂

[Ellie-V]

The “extra” came from her blog, not from me.
I don’t check every notification all the time here so my silence wasn’t a response to you suggesting I didn’t read.

[mrgspoter]

I only say what I think I don't copy things that I don't agree with, I say what I think not outher people thoughts I don't why you would do that unless you agree with it basically. So did you read that before you said it like it was from your mind?

[mrgspoter]

And basically I say it again what u said sound like a slave not a girlfriend no I don't want a slave I don't believe in keeping people as pets, a relationship is 50/50?

[Ellie-V]

I never said I agreed or disagreed. And I read (Nearly) her entire blog on a binge.
Whatever I added, still came from her if not from that specific post I shared.
I presented her ideas to see what people’s thoughts were. This isn’t about me and I never said it was.

If you don’t connect with what I presented... ok. That’s the opinion I asked for.
You are the one making it way deeper than it is.

[Ellie-V]

You only think I this is coming from my personal opinions because I didn’t outright condemn the ideas.
But I didn’t support it either.
That was intentional because AGAIN it has nothing to do with me.

[mrgspoter]

Okay🥴

[mrgspoter]

Your very confusing you know that right? LoL 😆

[Ellie-V]

Sure

[standardguy]

If the Bible says do, then it's the will of God.
Humanist thoughts and opinion has no meaning here.

[brownguy]

Whoever, but there should be one captain to a ship. Not two.

[Smegskull]

Every relationship will have its own unique social contract with its own boundaries of authority.

[Rexos]

I'm looking for a partner, not a slave.

[WowwGirl]

You pretty much nailed it.

[venomhbk1313]

Absolutely not that should be 50/50