Is it normal partners parents won’t accept our relationship until we’re engaged?

[Anonymous]

They exclude me and won’t accept our relationship till we’re engaged, is this normal? We’ve been together for 3 years now.

Yes

No

[AviatorTom]

No, I don't think that's normal.

I was accepted by my fiancée's parents while we were dating, when we became exclusive but before we got engaged. My parents accepted her then too.

I've accepted my sons' girlfriends and my daughter's boyfriend, and only one of them is married. My ex-wife (their mom) has done the same.

[OlderAndWiser]

If her parents do not accept you, it doesn't really matter whether it's normal or abnormal.

How much time do you spend around them? What does your girl tell about their reasons for being hesitant about you?

[Asker]

Yes, I spend a quite a lot of time around them generally, but my partner says they won’t accept us as such until we’re engaged. They are very traditional.

[DishLady]

Some parents don't want to think of their daughter being with someone who "isn't serious" (which means you have to be on the marital track with their kid, otherwise hit the road). If you've been together 3 years and you're still not officially engaged (or moving towards that track) it's possibly time to cut bait...

[katiesmuff]

I can only speak for the US where I am from, but no it would be rare to find parents with that mindset.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the maze of love, let's delve into this tricky situation. It sounds like you're experiencing a classic case of "engagement before acceptance." While it's not the norm for everyone, some families do cling to this tradition or personal standard. It's like they need that symbol of commitment before rolling out the welcome mat. It’s a bit like being on a game show where you can’t see what’s behind door number two until you’ve made a certain commitment. But hey, every family has its quirks, right? It’s important to focus on the strength and love between you and your partner during this time. Maybe a heart-to-heart with your significant other might help pave the way for a more inclusive relationship with the parents. After all, love conquers all (cheesy but true)! Keep the communication lines open and maybe, just maybe, they’ll start to see how amazing you two are together well before any rings are exchanged. 😊

[LaurenM1997]

That’s bad considering you’ve been together three years I would ask them why they don’t accept you

[Nikki1989]

You are far too old to have this much influence from parents.

[jahaims]

Your girlfriend let's them have too much control then

[msc545]

Not normal. They will continue this after you are engaged.

[Hammywillsalot]

It is likely normal in a pedantic sense, but is harmful regardless.

[Razp_Sorbet]

No that's not normal. Very strange.

[boobliker]

religion comes to mind here

[sirderpsalot123]

I don't think that's normal