Is your parents’ approval of a potential partner a deal breaker in the relationship? Why/why not?

[Pinay_ako]

[WiccanLady2023]

I'd trust my parents & friends / family options - deal breaker depends on what flaws they point out that I missed.

I mean years ago a friend was involved with an abusive asshole. But she was such a gentle person with such a giving heart that she didn't realize the massive mistake of being involved with this guy until her parents said something, her friends said something and her colleagues said something.

A person has to remember -
Blood is thicker than water & unless you have a bad relationship with your family they are almost always going to be looking out for your best interests

[Pinay_ako]

Amen 🙏

[Chijoy]

If the approval is in my favour, why not. If the opposite is the case then the end won't end because of that anyway.

If it's a deal breaker or not totally depends on my partner's ability to convince his parents. But yeah, I love when parents approval of the relationship.

[MrOracle]

No. I've always been WAY too independent for that, plus when I was growing up, my parents could simply not understand that the morals and values of the world had massively changed since they were kids, even though they saw it happen. They apparently thought that, for example, the Feminist revolution in the late 60s was isolated to a small population - it was decades before they recognized how deep and wide the social rules had changed, but at the time, their advice, while well-intentioned, was a recipe for disaster. They can admit that now.

[Drewtate]

I trust my parents. If they saw something wrong with my partner I'd definitely take a step back to see if I'm missing something.

[AydenHazor]

My parents' approval means nothing to me when it comes to a potential partner. I respect my parents, and their relationship works for them, but I also recognize aspects of codependency rampant in their relationship, and they did not raise us learning how to healthily experience, process and express emotions, and that includes not learning how to receive or give love. Knowing that, their approval and opinion has no weight to me when I choose someone with whom I can be safe to express emotions, including receiving love from them and giving love to them. If I'm going to build a relationship with someone, I want it to be healthier than my parents' relationship, as such, I'm not seeking my parents' advice or approval

[DeeDeeDeVour]

My dad is a very good judge of character.

He'd make me aware of a "bad vibe" he feels or gets from somebody I'd introduce to him.

He can even point out specific "red flag (s)" to me and tell me he'll "give 'the boy' the benefit of the doubt" and back off for me.

Mom's the opposite.

[Simslover92]

This is a hard one because I respect my mother's opinions on almost everything and if she didn't agree with me being with my boyfriend, I might have to think twice about being with him. But luckily for me I know I won't have to because I know she will love him. My mom is an easygoing person and it's hard to get a disapproval from her.

[Sirenboobzilla]

This is one of the few things I'm a little. old fashioned for. If we get to the point where I'm introducing you to my parents, it's cause I want things to move forward. As I have a good relationship with my parents, it's important to me that they also get along with anynpartner I have.

I brought my bfnhome after 3 months and he was passing his pants at meeting my dad. Now they're effectively bras, and he gossips with my mom like no other. Makes me happy 😊

[whirled_up_girl]

No, half the time my parents never even met any of my boyfriends because when I moved out of the house my parents were 2 hours away. They never really expressed interest anyway, they figured they raised me the best they could and had to trust my judgement about these things.

[DaisyM23]

I think it depends on why they don't approve, my parents and extended family are somewhat traditional so they would take into consideration race, religion and gender plus personality and job. I would care more about my friends' approval I think because they're more picky when it comes to personality only

[Lionman95]

I would say it´s a potential dealbreaker because I come from a good working family. My parents have been married for nearly fourty years now. So if they see something I don´t see I´d rather stick with their advice than breaking off with my family for a potential partner.

[ohsheeT]

No it doesn't matter to me at all I don't think my mom has liked any of my girlfriends

At least that's what I hear but I don't really care that's her loss
I mean it would be nice but like I said it doesn't really matter to me if she can't be grown up enough that's problems on her not me not my girlfriend if I have a girlfriend when I have a girlfriend

[luvstoned4him]

I mean I'm open to suggestions and wisdom and all that because they have been in the world before me and would spot certain things quicker than I could but ultimately the decision would be up to be seeing as I would be living with this person forever or whatever. I'm gonna make my own regardless

[ChiTown33]

A potential partner yes. A partner I already have, No. Believe me, my mother and sisters wouldn't allow a woman to get her hooks into me without giving me an earful if they didn't approve of her. And while I make my own decisions of course. Knowing how fair minded they are, if they didn't approve it would give me pause.

[genericname85]

yes because my parents have a very good track reckord of supporting me in the right ways and helping me sort out toxic friends that wrecked my life when i struggeled and failed to see myself. so if my parents hate the person i chose to date, i trust that something is seriously wrong with my choice. but at this point that is very unlikely, cause i grew as a person myself so i don't get with bad people much anymore.

[mandyfire98]

I would absolutely take their feelings and opinions into consideration because I completely trust them and love them.

Ultimately it's my decision though.

[Spongebobssocks]

No its my life not theirs:) future husband comes first

[Pinay_ako]

But husbands can be replaced. Not family

[Spongebobssocks]

No not in my mind i take marriage serious

[veganrogue]

No. My mother has her life and I have mine. Would I like my mother to approve of my potential partner? Yes. Would it affect my decision if she didn't? No. We only have one life and we have to take the gettin' while the gettin' is good.

[molonski2]

Its not a deal breaker , but I don't like it , if they are too close from the beginning , before I've decided what my intentions are , I'm of course going back in time to answer this question as both my parents are long gone , over 20 years.

[ShellyB]

Yes, I really would not want to seriously date anybody my parents did not like, first bc they have good judgment and I know they are always looking out for me, second just bc it would be a constant stress. JMO!

[Alli39]

My mum's kind of is, mostly because she's a very kind person so if she has someone bad to say about someone they must have been pretty rude. My dad is more judgmental in general, so I care less what he has to say.

[Agape93]

Nope. It's It's even a consideration for me. I don't value their opinions

[Pinay_ako]

Why not?

[Agape93]

Why would I value it?

[Pinay_ako]

It’s your parents?

[Agape93]

Who allowed a pedophile to try and have me for years and other sorts of shit. So I have no value for them.

[Pinay_ako]

Wow so sorry to hear that! That’s vile

[Agape93]

Yeap.
They're going to die alone one day with nobody left to care for them. What goes around, comes around

[Anemone978]

Not really since I am the person who is gonna have to deal and be with them not my parents.. but I guess my parents do know better than me most times lol

[freshoffthewagon]

It depends. For me personally I would say so. Just because me and my father are very close and I genuinely knows he wants what's best for me. So I'd hear him out and address the concerns and possible reg flags I may not be seeing. But this is definitely a person by person situation because everyone has a different family life.

[RoseySarah]

Depends for me now no but maybe when I was 14 or 18 that would make me want him so much more... We all are dumb that way when it's bad for us we want them more!

[LostandFound__x]

Yes because I love my parents and trust them but also no because it’s my life. However it’s very important to me that my future partner respect my parents.

[beebella]

@exitseven has the right idea. 😂

I would take my parents' opinions into account, but they're not going to sway me from being with someone I want to be with.

[exitseven]

@beebella. I had a very dysfunctional family.

[inhua]

people would rather take approval from society and their degenerate liberal peers than their family

[cuteangelprincess]

Mine aren't okay with my partner (my dad) and my sister too. I know parents are mostly right but I don't know if I should trust my dad for this.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me I live my own life & when it comes to a relationship I can be in a relationship with whoever I choose.

[Belgie]

If my parents climb out of the grave to give feedback on my partner, I promise I will at least hear them out.

[Lily_lilac]

Not really… But it depend on the situation tbh.. Sometimes its good to ask for them cuz they can ‘see’ better

[GOLDFISH_smile]

If my parents approved of my partner that would be a red flag, but not necessarily a deal breaker.

[jeffend888]

Absolutely, unequivocally 100 percent yes.

Without support from in-laws, your life will be perpetual hell. If people are not aligned, there’s going to be drama in perpetuity until your death.

[Grovermint]

Depends on why they're against her. I can understand if I have rose colored glasses, but ultimately, it is my decision, not theirs'. I'd be more inclined to listen to my father's advise than my mom's as she was not there for most of my life.

[AviatorTom]

Not necessarily. My father did not like the guy my sister was engaged to. He told her, "I don't have to like him... you do!"

[dolemite58]

my only parent that’s still alive has dementia and lives in assisted living. so no i wouldn’t take their opinion into consideration.

[Pinay_ako]

Sorry to hear that

[Coden7]

No. My parents have some weird idea of who they see me marrying, and they seem to sabotage all of my relationships if it doesn’t fit what they want. So I don’t involve them much at all

[WhiteBorr]

My mum and dad never cared who I dated, but my dad offered my sister a car to break up with her boyfriend. However, just like memy siblings and cousins, parents approval of a partner plays no role in us breaking up with a partner

[elizamichale1]

I think their approval is a great thing to have but making it a deal breaker... i dont think thts a good idea

[DizzyDesii]

Their say so really doesn't matter. I’ve always done what i wanted

[Smashingdoozy]

They're dead so they're not giving much approval

[thatshydork]

Yes because I’m close with my family so I want my partner and my family to get along too.

[Anonymous]

No cause I decide who I get to reproduce with not my parents. I decided who my body chooses to clone. I will be the one pushing out the baby and almost dying for it. Not my parents.

[ventustalks]

Yes because their idea of the ideal groom does not correspond with who I want as a partner.

[chloeaimee]

Not really, I’ll only be concerned about that when it comes to my future partner asking my dad for hand in marriage.

[sheikalana]

Their opinion doesn't matter. I'm grown enough to know what's good for me and what's not. Is their problem if they don't like my partner.

[Lliam]

I never asked for my parent's approval, even when I finally my my future wife and proposed.

[Mangospacho]

It depends on how crazy the parents are. You can have the dumbest and worst parents that can still spot a bad partner. Then again, the same horrible parents can also spot a good partner.

[lilBigPotato]

I want them to like my partner but I won't dump someone I love just because they have some concerns

[RavVid]

I don't approve of parental approval. I'm the one who has to get erections over her.

[Avicenna]

Absolutely not, and it never has been. Their judgement on such matters is not good.

[exitseven]

Nope. I never even told them I was dating somebody until after we decided to get married

[Twalli]

I will definitely consider breaking up if my parents disapprove. I know that they want what is best for me. If there are problems, I may not notice them as easily as my parents.

[Drumlin2001]

Not overly. But thankfully they seem to be OK with my fiancé

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It's not a dealbreaker for me

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Pinay_ako My late Mom never mind who I dated regardless of their Ancestry as long as we loved each other and got along well !!!

[Alex-Snow]

I would value their input... but it would be my decision ultimately

[MissBoogus]

I take their opinions into consideration but ultimately it’s my choice, and they’d understand that too.

[yulbsari]

You can respect your parents opinion, but you have to be adult enough to take responsibility for your decisions and deal with the consequences.

[SeaStorm1]

it deponds. if you in love person but not see a red flags that mum or dad can pick up from. it doesn't matter to me.

[peedy]

Doesn't matter anymore actually they dont side either way and wouldn't hear them anyway through 6ft of dirt

[SL1CK_BL1CK]

For religious reasons yeh. But also i would care because apparently mums can tell if a woman wants you for you or to extort and take advantage

[Z1pTD]

I definitely would value their opinion but at the end of the day me and my love interest are the ones making the decision

[standardguy]

Of course I would listen to that what my partents would say

but in the end I have to decide.