Why would you want your parents approval of YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?

Question

Yeah, the question is pretty much in the title.
Why would you want your parents approval for your personal relationship?
And why do you want to meet your partners parents so badly?

If you ask me, I don't need approvals of anybody because:

1. I'm an adult and I can do what I want (so long I'm not a criminal haha).
2. I moved out of my parents and I live alone. My parents are far away but reachable by car.
3. Relationships are really just too personal (and to some degree private)
4. I don't like the idea of meeting parents (considering the parents are abnormal parents)
5. Like I said, why would I need approval of SOMEBODY ELSE for MY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?
6. Really, do they have to know?

What I also don't understand and probably won't is how girls want to meet their boyfriends parents so badly and think, that if he won't introduce her to his parents or tell his parents about his relationship, that it's like a warning sign for trouble.
Like come on, seriously?

EpicDweeb · Accepted Answer

Let me put it this way. For me it's a safety measure. I know how easy it is to fall in love. I know how easy it is to make bad decisions when you're in love. I want my partner to meet my parents so that they can provide perspective. Is this really a person that I work well with apart from being in love? Being in love is something that will always change. Having your parents around, and seeing that they approve of the relatonship shows that you might be able to maintain a much longer lasting relationship.

My parents opinions matter because they know me better than anyone else. I know my parents love me and want what's best for me. I know they truly want me to be happy and want to save me whatever frustration and heartache they can.

1. Yes technically you're an adult and the law allows you to do what you want... but that doesn't make you flawless. Again parents help provide perspective through what may well be infatuation.

3. Relationships are too personal? Why? Of course you don't do the same things you'd do in private around your parents. So what? If your parents care about you the they still want to know that you're okay. They want to know you're happy.

4. Do you like the idea of tearing her away from her family? Do you want her parents to be worried that she's with a manipulative jerk who just wants to control her? So you want her to be happy? Then why on earth would you want to essentially sever one her most important relationships?

5. Because you do dumb shit when you're in love. You make really stupid choices. You get perspective back when parents are involved. That isn't a bad thing.

6. Technically no. You have the ability to separate yourself from your family completely if you don't like them. But why WOULDN'T you want the people who ought to know you best to help you and give you the means to avoid doing something that could potentially cause a ton of heartache and pain? Why wouldn't you want to save yourself from all the fights and frustration and tearing down of the toxicity that starts once the hormones are worn off?

The way I see it... I love my family. I want to assure them and let them know I'm okay. I want their approval to help confirm what I think I know because when I'm infatuated they literally know me better than I do myself. I don't want to hurt her or have her be ostricized by her family so I'm going to meet them so she can have the peace of mind that her parents like me and think I'll be good for her.

AlexBlack007 · Accepted Answer

I don't need their I approval to get into a relationship. Could be any girl. I would want their approval if it does come to marriage. Marriage means bringing someone into the family and my parents are a part of it since before I was born so I consider it my responsibility to not ruin the family they've been a part of longer than me, by deciding on my own who else should join it. I'm not saying whether it's right or wrong, it's just my opinion that my parents should have a say if it's going to affect their lives in even the tiniest way possible. :)

fauchelevent · Accepted Answer

I guess for me, I wanted my parents approval because I'm aware that it can complicate things in the future if they don't approve. My parents hate my boyfriend. He hates them. They don't enjoy being around each other and if they are for too long, they will fight like children. It doesn't matter in the end that they dislike each other, since I love my parents and I love my boyfriend and those relationships make me happy so I'll maintain them. However, as I said, it complicates things and it'd be much easier and more preferable if my parents did like him and vice versa. Just an example off the top of my head, grandkids. My boyfriend doesn't feel particularly comfortable allowing any future children to be alone with my parents, he doesn't feel they'd be good role models and he doesn't trust them with the child. My parents don't believe he'd be a good father and don't think we should ever have kids together. So that's an issue. If they approved of each other, there'd be no problem there. So yeah. I'd like if my parents approved of my partner because it makes things much less complicated and things are just happier but, as I said, I won't base my relationships with anyone based on whether someone else likes them or not.

gwail · Accepted Answer

NONE OF THE ABOVE

If its just a boyfreind I usually won't even tell my parents about them. But if it were serious like marriage serious then yeah I want them to meet and like eachother.
MY REASONING IS at family get togethers and or if I have kids my parent and this guy will see eachotger a lot. And things will just go smoother if we all like eachother.

I never ask to see my boyfriends parents its his choice if he sees me serious enough to introduce me to his parents.

And its kinda like when you have something you really like you like to show it to people. And it extends to your relationships. You wanna show off the thing you really care about aka your significant other.

Auroria · Accepted Answer

If he won't ever intoduce me to his parents I would walk away from that relationship real quick. Unless he don't have contact with them for a good reason. Girls want to meet the parents eventually because it sets a standard and shows you are serious about the relationship. If his parents didn't like me at all, I don't think I could handle that in the long run.

JulieXO · Accepted Answer

I will date who I want, regardless of my parents approval, but I’d prefer it if they liked the person I’m with. Assuming the relationship ship is gonna last and I’ll have a family with the guy one day, I’d want to be able to visit them with my spouse and kids. If my guy and my parents hated each other it wouldn’t really be possible.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I sort of understand a helicopter parent that does so out of concern for the child's safety... but in matters of relationships, you simply have not done your job as a parent if their romantic partners need any cherry picking at all.

Although, as someone that is analyzing a partner that is overly concerned with their parent's opinions, I'd be questioning the mental maturity of the partner themselves.

N192K001 · Answer

Their input is necessary, on both sides.

In my culture, marriage isn’t just the joining of 2 individuals, but the joining of 2 families. (In fact, both side’s family name will be incorporated when naming the next generation, hence effectively giving the descendants a sort of dual citizenship to both clans). Hence, not getting their consent to the joining would not be good for us.

Fap_pa_ap_pap_paper · Answer

I don't really care if my parents like the girl I'm dating but it matters if her parents like me, if they don't, it's their little girl, I wouldn't want my little Princess to be running to the arms of a dude I hated.

(I should say I don't have a kid but I really want a little girl)

sahas20 · Answer

I will just tell them, this is the girl and we are getting married. I don't think they will ever oppose to any girl of my choice, but if they do, I still will marry the woman I love. It's a sign of respect for the people who gave birth to us and brought us up with so much hardships and care. So, telling them is very important for me, but I make my own decisions. Always.

fatimSA95 · Answer

I want to be with someone who will be joining my family just like I intend to do with his, at no point do I want to be separated from my own or separate him from his family.

Anon85 · Answer

Well, as a Christian relationships have the eventual goal of marriage, and I don't want to be living my life always dreading my in-laws

Galen01 · Answer

For me, while I don't care about the approval aspect I did want to meet her family. If you're going to potentially spend the rest of your life with this person you're going to end up interacting with their family.

SarahsSummer · Answer

Approval from anyone validates our decisions in life and parents opinions often only want what they think is best for us adding weight over others approval.

Khrylite · Answer

For me it's not so much approval from my parents. Whether they approve or not I will still stay with my other half if I feel happy with them. But I would prefer if my family got along with him and him with my family and then me with his also, I'm super family orientated so it does play a big part in a relationship for me, but it's not the make all end all of it either.

witherwing · Answer

I would like my parents to like my partner and get to know him, but if they don't like him, it doesn't change how I feel.

JackofSpades · Answer

Would I like my family to get along with my girlfriend? Yes. Do I need my parents to approve of our relationship? Fucking hell no. I love my family, but they can get over it.

jacquesvol · Answer

They're deceased. when they were alive, I didn't care about their approval.

InfiniteGray · Answer

Nope. My life my choice. If I am making a wrong decision they can warn me but in the end it's my choice.

Anonymous · Answer

My parents don’t care as long as he treats me right

Why would you want your parents approval of YOUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP?

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