Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
I trust my boyfriend, but I sometimes feel insecure when he spends time with his female friends. I don’t want to seem jealous or controlling, but these feelings keep coming up. How can I work on trusting him more and building confidence in our relationship without overthinking his interactions with them? Any tips or advice?
Well first of all I have to say you're very wise woman because you understand what can destroy a relationship faster than fast and that is jealous
In so many different ways you're very confident and you have to believe in yourself you have to love yourself first of all in order to even ask this question because
I believe that you understand that you cannot make anybody love you when you get into a relationship it's not 50/50 it's 100 100 you can only do what you do because you are committed you believe in the relationship and you know at any point in time your partner can do whatever it is they want to do so you have to trust and believe in them with all heart that they're not going to do something stupid or foolish.
And when doing this you're also showing him how independent you are by letting him know I trust and I respect you that is love if you f****** you did it to yourself if you do something stupid you did it to yourself
I'm here for you because we are in this relationship together
But the confidence that you have and believing that you have in him shows me who you are as a human being that says you know what I'm going to give you my 100% and if you blow it we both go our separate ways but it's all on you I did what I had to do to make this relationship work you cannot make anybody in this world love you and why would you want to because if you make them then that means it's fake and you're trying to prove to him that you are real and that you are 100% into it just by asking this question
Now I'm very curious if the table was turned how would he go about it what would he do what would he be thinking what would he be saying would he allow you to be with your male friends or would he not would he create drama because he was insecure
So your question is about you because you want to better yourself and prove yourself
But I'm very curious if that she was on the other foot how he would react how he would handle it I would almost bet you anything that you are a better person you are 10 times stronger person than he will ever be because first of all when you're in a relationship you don't do what he's doing that's just common sense
Everything in this world happens for a reason I believe this is a growing moment a different level for you and I think you're handling it perfect because there's going to become a moment where this growth that you have right now is going to be well accepted someplace else
Because there's no reason in the world that you even have to go through this he should not be making you go through this because that's him being selfish in so many different ways
If I was him I would take a good look at you because you are a keeper but I also believe you can only go so far with it until you say hey sorry but I can't be allowed to do this anymore
There's a very narrow window for when men can be friends with women.
And even then it's not close/best friends.
1. Cannot find them attractive - at all under no circumstances, on the loneliest darkest day, 10 pints in, last woman on earth to save the human race level. - because this is how we see our male friends (if your straight etc)
Anything ells, your just an option or I am in the friend zone being used.
2. They will need to make clear effort to get to know you as the girlfriend and go out of thier way to make you comfortable. - as I have 1 friend who is a girl, she is married, we are not close close, because I respect the husbands boundiers etc, I socilise with her at sporting things, went to thier wedding, text occasionally but that's It, and I often bump into her husband and have a beer with him etc... There has to be an understanding of respect both ways.
Women tend to be annoying, arrogant, self centered and transactional (always want something from you as man to justify your presence lol) why would you spend time with those people unless you want somthing in return from them. (boobs etc lol)
If your feeling this way. Probs your gut telling you somthing is off. Your probably dating a top 10% guy, good looking, tats, confident, fancy car, Options sexualy. that's why you find him attractive... So they ain't his friends and your an option.
Have a reflection on what you are looking for in a man.
It's a real problem we face. You like those guys and they have 10 of you.
So you either date in your own league and settle for a guy who's is good at being a human but who you don't feel super attracted to, which is not fair on him. (also we know , so anyone worth dating won't be intrested in you as why would I want to be 2nd choice)
Or you try and find the unicorn man who wasn't born into top 10%, earned his way up and wants a genuine connection and to be with a lovely girl. The issue you face there is that he had worked his whole life and sufferd to be at the top, now has options with women, and will have standards based on your past. Do you meet those standards?
So either hide your past and be evil. (and ultimately never happy)
Or be alone, reflect and meet somone who is also compromising on you also (likely an old 10% guy who used to be there with his own history) and eventually be at peace together... But not love.
Moral of the story, stay a vigin/modest ish, marry a guy in his late 20s to 30s who you are super attracted to, suggested by your father and be happy... The old people had it right, we're all a bunch of ideots.
@Nikki1989 do you recon they would pass the test?
Ring a few up and confess to wanting to be with them and ask if they would like to come over with a bottle of wine... You think they would all turn you down and tell you to shut up you silly sausage?
It's unlikely... And if they wouldn't, then they ain't friends... They are just waiting.
are you also friends with his female friends? that can help. i don't have any worries when he hangs out with other friends, even when a female friend is around, because i have trust and he's just not that type of guy and his female friends are just not that type of girl. plus i know his friends very well and they are also my friends by extensions and the many many years we've all hung out together.
so unfortunately you will just have to build that trust, let him go out in those situations, and hope for the best that you picked a guy that is trustworthy and doesn't think like that or has a wandering eye.
you could also always talk to him about it. if this is really bothering you, you need to bring it up. you say exactly what you say here, mention that you trust him completely but there are times where you feel insecure in those situations and you don't want to seem jealous or controlling, but you can't help but still have these feelings and you think talking about it and seeing what he thinks would help you feel better
My friend gave me useful advice when I informed her that my first boyfriend made me insecure by continuing friendships with close female friends he met years before he met me. My friend said, he is partially out of line cause he should have considered how his behaviour around other females affected me.
What I got out of her view is that trust is not a default right for everyone in a relationship, there are times where you have to earn or maintain it with your behaviour.
Tell him, you want to see more commitment and boundary separation from him, and that this would make you feel happier about the friends he chooses to socialize with.
As a relationship coach here to help you avoid those pesky lovebombing jitters, I've got your back! Trust is the ultimate relationship MVP. Remind yourself of why you initially trusted him and focus on building that confidence within you. Express your feelings to him in a calm way, so he understands without hugging a red flag. Sometimes, a little vulnerability can deepen your connection. Be patient with yourself, enjoy your time together, and remember—you’ve got this! 💪💖 Stay groovy!
Opinion
24Opinion
Simple advice... Think of the time you two spend together, knowing that after he spends time with is friends, he's returning to you.
Well the thing is that it’s not healthy to be worried about him at least if he’s into other girls or not , the thing is that even if he would be cheating but lets say you don’t know, then for as long as your relationship doesn’t change or diminish then you wouldn’t have a reason to worry about and furthermore it’s just bad logic if he would be cheating and still be with you like if you really want to be with another then you should break up first and then be with whoever you want so it would be best if people did this so they wouldn’t have to stress about things like that but an advice can be to consider your circumstances like how serious is the relationship, how much time you have have together and where do you see the relationship in the future cuz like if you don’t have much time together and you don’t see the relationship for more than 2 years or even 1 then don’t worry that much no matter what and furthermore if you have less than 5 months you don’t even need to bother with thinking that and just enjoy it as much as you can
It can be hard to trust your boyfriend when he’s with his girlfriends, especially when those little insecurities start to come up. Honestly, it all starts with how much you trust yourself and the relationship. If you trust him and he hasn’t given you a reason to doubt him, remind yourself of that when those feelings come up. It can also help to be open with him about your feelings; don’t try to control him or blame him. Just say, “Sometimes, I feel a little insecure when you’re with your girlfriends, and I’m working on that.” He’ll probably appreciate your honesty, and it will keep the lines of communication open. Also, focus on your own self-confidence. The more confident you feel about who you are and what you bring to the table, the less likely those little concerns will affect you. And if you’re feeling really uneasy, talk to him about it. Relationships are all about balance and understanding each other’s boundaries and feelings. Trust takes time, but if you’re consistent, your trust in the relationship will grow.
Thank you so much for this advice! You are absolutely right, trusting myself and the relationship is so important and I love the idea of being open about my feelings without making accusations. I will definitely work on my confidence and communication. It really helped me put things into perspective.
Past relationships and toxic ones at that can leave any person with doubts and insecurities in future ones. Best thing you can do is to just go with the flow and understand that if he or she is going to cheat, that there's nothing to stop them from going through with it. the only thing you can control is your own behaviors and trying to be the best person you can be so as to show him or her what they would be throwing away should they decide to go that route and ruin a good thing. Show them why you are different from others and why they shouldn't even consider cheating on you.
Tough call. The majority of my friends are female; and I was lucky because my ex-wife was absolutely comfortable with the situation (ironically she has more male friends). If it’s the case that you trust your partner; then I suspect that what might be driving your anxieties is the fact that she IS your boss. I see it as an emotional and psychological stand-off where the little voiced in your head are convincing you that she MUST be right because she has a power of authority. Trust your instincts-She is more than likely to have had her advances towards this man rejected, and it really dented her ego. Don’t let it stop what sounds like a civil and innocent friendship-you’re far better than her petty jealousies. xx
be open about how you feel but do understand being open does not mean demanding he get rid of his female freinds for instance i would say something like this ¨hey boyfreind I really think your amazeing but sometimes I feel jelous of your female friends and while I know I have no reason to be its sometimes hard for me mabie we can spend more time together by ourselves because I think your freinds are amazeing regardless and I dont wanna be rude or disrepectful towards them¨
you have to find the root of your insecurity... and work on it... there is no other way... the insecurities grow with time and, in extreme conditions, can even cause some mental disorders...
me and my girlfriend are adjustable and common hobbies and interests, never concealing each other, we are unfolding every thing, so we got peaceful and harmonious lifestyle.
Obviously you don't trust him, just by your question. If you two don't have total trust between you than you are doomed, especially if he has to keep reassuring you every time. In fact, that could be the very thing - lack of trust - that could drive him away. Like "If she is not going to trust me then I might as well cheat because she is always going to suspect it anyways." ~🤔~
What is he doing with these female friends of his that you can't come along?
I can understand a guy not wanting his girlfriend around for a guys' night out, but if there are going to be women there already, why can't you be involved.
Once you actually meet these female friends, they'll probably seem less scary.
Honestly, if you already trust him, why are you stressing yourself out every time he is around his female friends? Overthinking doesn’t stop him from making mistakes, he will make them anyway. But if he hasn’t given you any reason to doubt him, then you are just torturing yourself for no reason. Focus on yourself, your self-esteem, and stop giving energy to things that aren’t really problems yet.
You're right, if I trust him, I shouldn't overthink it and stress myself out unnecessarily. I'll focus on building my self-esteem and not worry about things that aren't real problems. This perspective really helps.
It’s normal to feel insecure about your boyfriend’s female friends, but it’s great that you don’t want to be controlling. Talk to him openly, be calm and honest about your feelings without blaming him. Trust comes from communication and consistency, so focus on his actions. Meeting his friends can help you feel more at ease, and it helps to build your own confidence. Remember, he’s with you for a reason. Trust yourself and the relationship you have.
I agree that communication and trust are key, and meeting his friends sounds like a good idea to ease my mind. I’ll focus on his actions and work on my confidence it’s reassuring to remember he chose to be with me.
If you don't trust your boyfriend, you should bring one of his female friends over and initiate a FFM threesome.
Me on the other hand, you could have plenty of confidence and trust that I'll be banging those girls on my own without your help.
Express your feelings to your boyfriend in a calm and honest way. Let him know that you are insecure. You have to stamp their insecurities out, insecure people are the unbearable to be around.
Sounds like a understandable reaction, why don't you ever ask to tag along? Because I don't believe there's anything wrong with you wanting to tag along.
If he's out with a group of friends then that's fine. If he's going out and it's just him and one other girl by themselves, that's not cool. He should have enough consideration to not put those kind if thoughts in your head.
Every girlfriend who had “satellite” guy “friends” orbiting around them would eventually cheat with one. Your jealousy or concern is warranty. Either they are all in or they are not.
By accepting at some point and time they have hooked up already or they are going to hook up in future. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft
Don't worry about it. He will not do anything that he doesn't enjoy.
Trust the fact that if he had a shot with any of them he wouldn’t have dated you to begin with ;)
Trust your boyfriend until something happens to change your mind (which hopefully it won’t)
there's no trick to it. you just trust them. cause if you can't trust them, why don't you break up right now?
Has he ever given you an indication that he cheats? How is your sex life with him? It would not hurt to gently tell him how you feel.
First thing is you need to stop lying to yourself.
You don't trust him.
Secondly you have to ask yourself how long you're willing to put up with this nonsense because it's not going to stop
Why don't you have male friends and keep your options open like your boyfriend clearly is.
My advice: relax.
If you don't make it, then you didn't have it :)
If you don't trust don't date. You don't trust him. You contradicted yourself
Anyone in a committed relationship should not be spending time alone with friends of the opposite sex.
Just him and a group of women?
Wear a disguise and follow him around.
How hot are his friends?
😆😆😆
You can also add your opinion below!
