Should I break up with my girlfriend if she wants more commitment and I don't want it?

[Anonymous]

Basically she wants to move in together and I don't see the point in it. Everything is good the way it is. I value my autonomy and I don't want to take on any risks.

Updates

1 y

So the immediate answer is that if I don't want to live with a girl, I should dump her. got it. So all these women complaining about cohabitation are wrong then? It's a good thing?

Updates

1 y

Is the idea that as soon as a girl wants to live together, a guy should immediately comply? Regardless of the relationship, her character or the time spent together?

[lightbulb27]

I know people like that. Been there done that.

if you want a partner, then you have to work to build a relationship that you BOTH want and works for you. That means some change is required. It is normal for most women to want to be together, "build nest"... and move forward in life. So often I see guys hesitant ones that "want what they want, want their independence".

The women have their reasons and so do you.

Something will have to give...

"Fear... is a terrible master... but rules so many", wise person

[Finchie40]

You don’t have to break up with her , but just be honest with her that you do not want her moving in with you and tell her the reasons why? If she doesn’t like your honesty then it’s up to her on whether she wants to stay with you or not. If she chooses to end things with you , oh well, at least you were honest with her

[BlackRose97]

Why would you break up with her? If she doesn't like the level of commitment you're offering, she can break up with you. There's no need to preemptively dump her. I don't know why these girls are saying that. Don't break her heart because angry internet strangers told you to.

[Asker]

To avoid wasting her time, I guess. But your point is valid. She's free to end things if she feels that it's best for her. I guess I don't need to make that decision for her, necessarily.

[Vesuvius87]

How long have you been dating her? Explain to her your views and if she isn't satisfied what how things are going and wants to break-up, then let her go in that case. Just be honest with her so that way you can avoid wasting her and your time.

[Asker]

About 7 months. Do you believe I should be the one to end it, instead of letting her decide. That's what I'm on the fence about the most.

[Vesuvius87]

Yes honestly do end it. Before breaking up, tell her everything you've just written here. Tell her that you don't want a deeper commitment yet and just want to date, go to the movies, have fun with each other but don't move in and much less marry, neither of them. If she's not happy with what you have to offer, let her walk away.

[Asker]

I appreciate your advice and perspective. And lack of judgement.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, dancing the tango of commitment can be tricky, right? 💃

I see you're up for cherishing your freedom like your favorite pair of comfy socks, but she’s craving a little more closeness! It sounds like you're standing at a relationship crossroad. It's important to be honest about where you're at. If your desires for commitment don’t align, it could lead to some love turbulence ahead. Prioritize open, honest chats with her and see if there's middle ground. Who knows? You might find a solution that lets you keep both your autonomy and your love! ✨ Remember, love is all about mutual happiness, not just compromise.

[PeachyPie93]

Well if you been dating for a year or two and you still don't want to move in with her and she does, then yes I think it is a good idea to breakup since you both want different things in life.. These sort of things should be discussed early on next time.. Also if you never plan on living with a girlfriend stick to friends with benefits it's a much nicer way so people don't take you as someone worth committing to and wasting their youth with.

[Billlewis]

'She wants to move in and I don't see the point of it'. The words, 'she wants and 'don't see' are incompatible with one another, if you believe, as I do, that the online reason, purpose, motivation or justification for even initiating a relationship with any woman, is to please her, period.

[Anonymous]

Do you gain anything by moving in together? If not, then obviously don't do it. Let her decide if she wants to stay or go. You aren't holding her captive. Assuming you were straight up with her.

[Asker]

I don't think I would personally gain anything. Making her happy would be a W, but it's not FOR me really. She's a bit messy and not into cooking. Even at my house, when I cook for her, she doesn't join and she doesn't clean up after even herself. I don't really want that to become my day to day life. It's fine doing it all for her on my own terms, and when I have the energy though.

[Opinion Owner]

Then talk to her about this stuff. For all you know, she wants to be more of a contributor but hasn't got the right signals from you.

Let me ask you this, if she were to be the type to cook and clean, would that make you want to live with her?

[Asker]

I would be much more interested, yes. The other side of it is that she doesn't ACT like she wants to be in a committed, live together, kind of relationship. Like she still goes out partying and talks to other guys. If she genuinely wanted to be more serious, she wouldn't do those things.

And if she wanted to prove that living with me would be a plus, why wouldn't she even try to start acting like a "contributor" without me having to tell her.

Plus, more than once, she's talked about how marriage is such a harsh deal for women. That doesn't exactly give me confidence that she's capable of serious commitment.

[Opinion Owner]

Why tf are you with her?

[Asker]

She's hot, young, skinny, sexually adventurous and loves gaming as much as I do. Hell, she probably likes sex more than I do. I have to go above and beyond to keep up with her.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know wtf to tell you man. I can see why you don't want it to end and can also see why you don't want it to be more committed. If I had advice, I would give it. Other than just trying to talk to her. Not sure that will help though.

[Asker]

Honestly, I'm just being a pussy for not talking to her about it straight up. That's on me. I'll own it.

[Unit1]

Ah, me would love moving in together with a girlfriend.

But since it's not for you, that's pretty much the path you're going to take.

[Abbycado]

Then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Jfc…

@Agape93 🙄

[Agape93]

Then fucking be single you goddamn moron. Ffs.

[Abbycado]

@Agape93 XD

[Asker]

@Agape93 I'll do whatever the fuck I want, retard. Ffs

[Asker]

Wow, you two are so cool. I wish I can grow up to be just like you! Really impressive

[In_Trance]

I don't understand your logic of even considering staying together

[Asker]

She's incredibly hot, skinny, young, loves sex and loves playing video games. I don't want to leave that behind, but at the same time I think living together would be miserable for me.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Yes, you should break up with her.

[HelpfulWoman]

yes.

[HelpfulWoman]

nothing to do with cohabing. this issue is immediately that you are both after different end goals. that isn't compatible.

[Asker]

Do you think there is an appropriate timeline for things and people may be ready for different levels of commitment and different times? Or should the timeline always be dictated by the person who wants the higher level of commitment? Or should it be determined by whatever the female side wants?

[Asker]

Keep deleting comments. each time you do it, it's another W for me. And you admitting defeat, again.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Furkifurkan]

Yess