Do you think a relationship can last, if a handful of resentments are in place from both sides?

[Finchie40]

Most relationships are based off of trust and respect and loyalty for each other , but as time goes on some resentments come into play, from both partners’ basically the blaming game, by pointing fingers at each other , basically you did this , and you did that and they say well you did this and you did that , constantly butting heads over who is right or wrong. You both finally agree you both fucked up , but you both still love each other , Do you think a relationship can survive after resentments are set in stone, or is it just a matter of time those resentments will come back to haunt you both? I know no relationship is perfect , we all go through ups and downs, so is it worth trying to make it work or is it better to walk the other way?

[Purpleronnie]

Apart from the obvious deal breakers I think a lot of people including myself can baregrudges and hold on to resentment to weaponize it in arguments , scoring points as if winning and oneupmanship was the goal, when really they should be looking to forgive and build bridges to overcome and evolve the relationship accordingly. It’s part of the human condition though and therefore unlikely to change. Perhaps it’s all rooted back to the fact that relationships are completely against natures design for us. Are relationships even meant to last , sometimes it’s just not clear when it’s time to call it quits and different factors affect that decision and process at different stages in our lives.


Relationships can last though , that’s a fact , my grandparents and those of many are proof. Married at 17 and only separated at death. My point is more the question of should they?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I think socially forced relationships, such as marriage, can last, because morality is a strong force. My grand-parents staid together until the end, I have seen no love, no affection between them, I have seen people being together because their norms and traditions said so.

There's also this thing with love, as it's a complex sentiment, as it's not even a sentiment really understood... Anything is possible, it looks even possible to hate the ones we love.

So, yes, any relationship can last. But lasting is just time spent, it doesn't say anything about what people feel, it's just objective time. Just a clock.

[Juxtapose]

What do you mean love is not really understood?

"When someone falls in love, their brain releases a cocktail of chemicals including dopamine (the "feel-good" chemical), norepinephrine (causing excitement and physical arousal), oxytocin ("love hormone" promoting bonding), and sometimes phenylethylamine, which together create feelings of euphoria, intense attraction, and a desire for closeness with the other person; essentially, the brain's reward system is activated, making the experience feel pleasurable and addictive."

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I mean what I meant, stating that chemistry has the definitive answer to such a complex question is on you. For me, chemistry is just one perspective among others.

[Juxtapose]

Well once you understand the basic chemistry of it then you can analyze people's motives and from experience it becomes much easier to understand why people act certain ways. You can analyze their behavior and draw further inclusions over time but generally it's best not to complicate these things. Of course it's my opinion but that's what this website is for so fuck it.

[Juxtapose]

*draw further conclusions

[idonotlikeyou]

If partners don't talk to each other and don't share their perspectives, feelings, and thoughts, then even if there are no resentments, the relationship won't survive.

If partners hold onto resentments from past events, it means there is no open communication between them that allows revisiting and discussing difficult situations. Despite being in a relationship, partners are still different individuals. They expect different things from each other, but if they don’t voice those expectations, no one will know.

So... resentments are one issue, but the lack of open communication is truly the death of a relationship.

[midnightmoon05]

“But both still love each other”

some think it’s goes with the way you described regarding being right/wrong … when both have to be right… there is no love.
selfish don’t not equal to love.
if both truly love each other … then it is not set in stone… can it be fixed? No 99.9% no. In my case it worked out … but we broke up for a yr. worked out some of the differences… then got back together… we are not married.

[Finchie40]

Yea I think if both people can both agree they were wrong without pointing fingers at each other , it’s possible to put the past behind you both and move forward just as long as those resentments do not come back to haunt the both of you , it’s will take time for you both to truly feel trust with each other again , but as long as the both of you are on the same page with things and change for the better. No one is perfect and no rely is perfect , Learning to remove selfishness for each other is the key to having a long lasting relationship, Relationships aren’t hard, Selfish people make them hard

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love is a wild ride, isn't it? 🚀 Resentment's like that sneaky little termite in a relationship, nibbling away at the foundation. But don't worry, it's not game over! With lots of love, open communication, and maybe a sprinkle of professional help, those resentments can be tackled. If you both genuinely want to be together and are willing to put in the work, there's hope to rebuild and strengthen what might be wobbly. Just remember, love is patient, and forgiveness can be your best friend. Good luck, lovebirds! 🕊️❤️

[Makeushiver]

Resentments are killer. I think you would be far better served to clear the air each of you truly apologize and promise sincerely not to repeat behavior that caused it. If not, it is unlikely they will pass by themselves and will like get worse since they will crop up in any argument. Esp. if both of you already know what the cause of the resentment is. If that is the case than there isn't any news that will come out that serves ti rekindle it. Many people have said that resentments are like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.

[stephanie-ramos]

You just described my parents. Because they come from a different, more conservative, generation, they’re still together. But younger couples? I don’t think they’d last with all the nagging and blame game. It’s exhausting and very childish, I’d leave too lol.

[_Andromeda_]

This is a great question. I often wonder if there is a way to 'start over' without actually starting over.
I would say it takes a lot of love and effort from both parties.

But, I do think it's rare to have two people who are both willing to honestly self reflect and make the appropriate changes.

I would like to think it's possible though. 🙏🏼❤️

[michalpl00]

Well I don’t think it works because most people nowadays they don’t fix things. They just break up and move to the next person. I think love is a decision and not a feeling. I was pretty much dedicated, but she left me. I told her, although she lied, I was willing to rebuild the trust. But it would take time because she lied about sleeping with somebody else during the dating stage. She basically told me I was the only one ever since we met. And two months later, she told me this and she would consistently show me bad traits, but I was willing to accept it and work through it, but she left, which I think is good because how can you trust someone who proves themselves to be untrustworthy that is pretty hard to do. It was my first relationship. She took zero accountability for her actions and expected me to trust her 100%. Of course I couldn’t do

[EmmaMary]

No absolutely not... Those skeletons will always be in the cupboard.

[sage2021]

No, there isn't any room for resentment in a relationship and have it last.

[Agape93]

Can two people reman healthy if you microdose arsenic? No. You get sick.

[JessieG850408]

Absolutely not if there's resentment and no forgiveness

[demuregirl]

Learn what it means to truly forgive. Those past mistakes can be used for comedic purposes to ease the tension and grow from it.

[SolitarySolace]

If there are resentments on both sides why alow it to continue? Just break the fuck up

[Juxtapose]

If I resent somebody I sure as hell don't want to be around them.

[David5668]

No, and I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.

[ilkeerol28]

Don't be discouraged.

[In_Trance]

Nope