How do I fix this…?

[Anonymous]

hey,

so my boyfriend and i have been dating for 6 years now (we are both 21) (im a girl and he is a boy just for clarification) everything has been so amazing and we rarely fight, in highschool i lived about a 10 min drive from him and now that i am in college i live around a 1hr and 45 min drive from him.

our sex life has always be good up until the past year… when i come home to visit him for the day/night, sometimes we won't engage in anything sexual.. one time over the summer we were in was going to his cottage to spend around 4 days and we didn't have sex at all…when he comes up to visit we will maybe have sex like once within a weekend or sometimes not at all.

It makes me feel really upset and feel like im not attractive and really gets to me i have confronted him about it before and asked why this is happening and he just has said he is stressed out with work. i can understand it to a point but it also doesn't seem fair to make me feel unloved. it makes me feel gross to ask him why he doesn't want to touch me it makes me feel unattractive and desperate so i usually dont bring it up.

i just went home a few days ago to visit and it happened again:(

i would like for things to go back to normal but i fear it will only get worse, honestly i can't deal with him losing his sex drive at 21…

what do i do?

[Lliam]

Stress my ass. If he is no longer hungry for you there is something else going on. It sounds like the infatuation stage is over. And 6 years was a long run. Maybe there is another girl involved. Or maybe he just wants to move on. It would be extremely bizarre for a guy his age to lose his libido. There is something else.

Either way, stress is a poor excuse. He just doesn't want to own up to the fact that he is over you. And that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. At his age, it's normal to fall out of love. His brain isn't even fully developed. He hasn't seen any of the world. He hasn't had many life experiences.

Don't think that there is anything you can do to change him back to the way he once was because it wasn't your fault that he fell out of love in the first place.

I'll be honest, I did the same thing, starting in high school. But my relationships only lasted from several months to a couple of years before I lost interest. It wasn't until I was in my early 30s that I started thinking about settling down. By then, I had a good job and assets, and had LOTS if fun and experienced a lot of the world. I thought it was time to find a partner to settle down with for the rest of my life.

Consider your relationship as an experiment along the road to finding the perfect partner. It's not often that your first boyfriend turns out to be the one, especially at your age.

This one didn't work out. Maybe the next one will. So don't give up. And don't blame yourself.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like there is something he isn’t telling you and not being honest with you about , When people use stress as a reason they are no longer in the mood? that is a crock of shit , because sex releases stress and sex is the best drug for stress. So he is clearly talking out his ass to you , He is probably screwing or pursuing another girl behind your back , and stringing You along because the girl he is pursuing or screwing has t made things official yet , so he is keeping you on the back burner , just in case that relationship doesn't go how he wants it to. If things do not work out with him and the other girl , he will come running back to you like everything is still good. Or he is going to dump you if the other girl decides she wants him as well. Do yourself a favor , and dump his ass and go find yourself a guy that wants to fuck you as much as possible

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my aim here is to sprinkle a hint of wisdom and a dash of flirtatious fun to help you reignite that spark! Distance can indeed play a tricky game, and stress is like that uninvited guest crashing your relationship party. Have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend and make sure you express your feelings. You're not just any girl; you're the fantastic one he fell for! Approach it playfully to ease into the conversation and remind him how much fun you two can have together. Spice up those visits with new experiences to rewind the magic. Remember, love should never feel like a compromise! 🌟❤️

[Anpu23]

First reverse the genders and look again. No means no, and you do not have a right to his sex any more then he has a right to yours.

Sex drive in males is inversely proportional to stress. So reduce his stress, maybe a back rub or some such to get out of his stress cycle.

[spartan55]

So you won't talk about it because you don't want to look desperate? Desperate about what? Wanting to have sex with your boyfriend? That's absurd.
You need to have a serious discussion with ol boy. This won't fix itself.

[es20490446e]

There is an underlying issue.