My boyfriend (M36) is always suspicious of me (F36) all the time. How do I make him feel more secure?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend thinks I'm always up to something. We have been together for 2 years. He is a 2.5 hour drive away. I drive to him nearly every weekend unless he tells me not to as he has plans/when I have a family commitment/I'm sick. Many times we have fought and he will just "end it", delete me off all things. Then when we have resolved it, I got to a point of refusing to readd him on social media because 1, he'll do it again, 2, it wasn't me who removed him.
If I change my profile picture, he thinks I'm doing it to get attention from someone. I told him I actually put no thought into it, I change it when I get bored of the pic or fancy a change. I said if I was ever going to do it for attention it'd be his because I have only ever changed it to pics he specifically has loved. He said its when I have changed it when we are not together that it bothers him, so I presumed he meant on the 2 occasions when he and I have "broken up" so I stopped that, but apparently I misunderstood him and he meant if haven't seen each other for couple of weeks and I do that. I thought ok, I can understand. I won't lie, I do get defensive because he continues to insinuate things when I don't think I've done anything wrong.
Whatsapp, he sometimes see I'm online late and he will say, again if we haven't been talking because of an argument or something, actually anytime really, and then he'll make comments like "hope you enjoyed whoever you were talking to late last night". I feel I should be able to talk to whoever whenever but its not what I'm doing. I don't ever stay up chatting after I've said goodnight to him. If he's gone bed and I haven't then yea if one of the girls messages then I will chat to them. Otherwise on the odd rare occasion I wake up and look at my phone. Either way, it's rare occasions I'll be on late.
He obviously doesn't trust me/thinks I'm cheating but what should I do to ease his mind? I always tell him he has nothing to worry about with me.

[HungTexan]

I’d try having an honest discussion with him, and see if he’ll talk about his trust/insecurity issues. Sounds like he’s trying to control you as well. If he doesn’t start trusting you, end it for good and move on. Life is too short.

[Asker]

We have these conversations all the time. He brings up in an argumentative way that he's bothered about how I don't post him on social media. I remind him how I'm the one who's posted us on Facebook and Instagram. I'd post stories of us and pin them to the top of my profile so it's permanently there, I just don't allow my family in India to see my personal life because they get too involved and are too conservative. I've explained that cultural difference from the beginning but he thinks "how come you can post pics of you in groups with guys friends"? I said because those pics are super casual and they are usually in pics with others too, but i can understand your frustration (by the way i haven't posted a pic of me with any of the guy friends since he mentioned what bothers him). I said i don't like it either but trust me, we don't want them getting in our business, expecting marriage right away and putting pressure. I can see why he feels he's a secret but then he turns that into "seems like you're hiding me because maybe you don't want other men to know you're with someone". I said everyone knows I'm with you, just remember when we "fight" it's you who deletes me off everything, I don't. You don't post me but I'm not getting in a hump about it because social media is just too much drama. Also he mentioned yesterday his insecurities about us not being on each other's social media anymore (as in friends). I said yea I've told you before if you keep deleting me, I won't readd you because you'll do it again and not worth the energy

[HungTexan]

I think you should just move on, but it’s your choice. Good luck.

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to help with those love conundrums, and it sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle with your suspicious boyfriend. 😅 His behavior raises those classic red flags, like lovebombing and emotional manipulation, which are a total no-go zone! To ease his mind, try having an open and honest conversation about trust and boundaries. But remember, trust issues are HIS baggage, not yours! If things don't improve, you might want to reflect on whether this is a relationship that's good for *you.* Keep being your fabulous self, gorgeous! 🌟

[zombiewoof]

He probably always will be

[Asker]

Yea i do feel maybe all of this is just to control me and it's not actually me making him insecure. He's on whatsapp at random times of the early morning and I've never suspected him and I'm the one who has been cheated on in my previous relationship

[zombiewoof]

Sounds like a red flag