Am I insecure or is it my boyfriend?

Anonymous
Hi guys, I recently had a breakup, been crying every day. Is this all from my insecurity or was it my boyfriend's fault?

I was really confident before my relationship but got into dating this guy. He was really amazing in the beginning, but started to taper off more during the pandemic. I'm still pretty shy so I was taking things slow, but I'd send him funny pics or videos etc., and he'd just be like "oh, nice!" & go on to change the subject to his projects. I tried to ignore.

He went on trips all the time with his friends, and I wouldn't see him for days at a time. I never got invited and he never said he missed me or seemed excited when he returned. He barely contacted me during these & I felt very alone.

Everything he sent me was just based on his projects, and was be busy a lot working on them so I tried to leave him alone. He'd be MIA for hours at a time, but he always sent me a kiss face and "Goodnight!" or "how was your day?" every night, so I knew he liked me.

As for me, he wouldn't initiate much affection, physical contact, or emotions when we were together. He would just play guitar or work on his projects on his computer while I sat there. I tried to be happy & participate but it wasn't much beside that. Sometimes I tried to reach out and touch his hair or hand but he didn't really react.

He never complimented me. I know it sounds silly but it made me have low confidence and be very insecure around him. I started to be very nervous around him and didn't know what to do. He gave me one kiss per night and that's it.

I always invited him to the lake, events, fun stuff, but he could never come bc he was busy. I invited him so many times that I just stopped doing it.

I eventually got so insecure that he broke up with me. I don't know why this happened and I don't know what to do.
Am I insecure or is it my boyfriend?
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