After 20 years with someone the attraction must wear off?

[Anonymous]

I mean you respect and like the person but the chemistry must fizzle out a little?

And how you stay together?

[Anonymous]

Well if you're smart you realize 20yrs. is an accomplishment. At my age I see many people who've raised kids and after the kids leave the nest they have time together once again. The problem is they've grown apart. They spent so many years. Focused on the kids they didn't keep the fire burning between them. And they essentially strangers. They try to re-capture it and it doesn't work. Because now they're too different. To make things worse. When they dissolve the marriage and meet other people they run into a buzz saw when they realize what a 💩 show dating is at that age. Good partners don't stay single. So as you get older what is left is typically 💩tier and 💩tier.

All I'm trying to say is if you've been together a long time and are relatively happy. Do your best to nurse that, to feed that, to grow that. Because at middle age you're probably not going to find better.

[Asker]

I appreciate that

And that's something I have heard... I trying to come to terms with whether that's true or not.
But probably is. And thanks for taking the time to say that.

The other disadvantage is the money side, I have regularly read, to become wealthy, don't divorce.

I'm trying to

1 accept my situation

2 not cheat

[AviatorTom]

I was married for 20+ years before an amicable divorce. The attraction does change over time.

[Asker]

Thanks Tom

There are different views

I guess your view is there is hope after separation?

[AviatorTom]

There is always hope.

[AviatorTom]

Let me add. Getting divorced was probably the best thing for both of us. I found another woman and married her, she found another man and married him. We are still on good terms.. our life together was good, but not infinite.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the age-old question of keeping that spark alive! As a relationship coach, my aim is to sprinkle a little magic back into long-term love lives. Over time, attraction might change but it doesn't have to vanish. Emotional connection can deepen, leading to a more meaningful relationship. Keep exploring new activities, be spontaneous, and never stop flirting with your partner. Remember, falling in love can happen over and over again with the same person. Chemistry is something you cook up together, not something that just disappears. 💖🔥

[Apple1996]

If you are with the right person then the chemistry will grow

[Asker]

Not sure what you saying?
You mean after 20 years if it didn't grow then call it quits?

[Apple1996]

If you lose attraction then you aren't acutally into that person. Chemistry doesn't just disappear. It most likely was only lust

[Asker]

Lust, chemistry
What's the difference?

[HungTexan]

Take my word for it, if you’re with right person the chemistry doesn’t fizzle out at all. In fact, I think it gets even better because you know the other person so well. Likes, dislikes, sexual preferences, what works and what doesn’t.

[jahaims]

I've been with my wife since 2012. I'm just as attracted to her now as I was when we met. If you have a healthy relationship the attraction doesn't go away.

[oldpigg]

Yes, at that age people are already ugly and old.

[In_Trance]

So don't let the chemistry wear off. You have to keep putting in the effort