Would this be forgivable or is the damage too deep?

[Marblesxoxo]

I was wondering what you think of this true story I'm about to share. I once read online about a married, white couple that were expecting their first child.

When the day came, the woman gave birth to a dark-skinned baby. The man jumped to conclusions that she cheated, left the hospital, broke all the baby stuff and presents. Then he told everyone in his family and the woman wasn't just publically harassed by them but received nasty calls. She was branded all the worst names in the dictionary. Plus, the husband and his family called her child racists names..

The truth came out eventually:

The man's mother finally comes up and tells him that long ago, she had an affair with a black man and he was the product. However, since he still came out white, she passed him as her husband's son. The husband had already passed away; he died never knowing it. The man finally does both an ancestry test and paternity exam. He had black ancestry; his mother told the truth. His father was a black man. The paternity test was positive. The boy was really his child. His wife never cheated.

Now obviously he came out all remorseful and the family wanted to apologize too. The woman in the story however, wasn't forgiving. She doesn't know if she even wants to stay with her husband anyone and she wants no contact with his family either. Her reputation was damaged because of them. She feels communication and trust have been deeply damaged. Would you find this forgivable or not? Personally I wouldn't forgive. Too much damage has been done.

Updates

1 y

I'm not sure what the update was but he woman was very hurt and upset. She can't decide whether to forgive him or not and was thinking of possibly divorcing him.

[HusamRocks]

If u think of it, that newborn is the only victim there.
One person's fault shouldn't be other person's suffer since that newborn has the right to be raised inside a healthy family consists of a mother and a father 👍🏻
If that mother is smart, she can take back her reputation by letting others know the mistake was a result of her husband's ignorance of his past, which is basically his mother's fault she kept it hidden from him

So who to blame?

[Marblesxoxo]

yeah poor baby. Hopefully her reputation was restored. Yet I can't really blame the woman for not wanting contact with his family members. Harassing someone both online and over the phone (framing them for something they didn't do) to the point they likely had to have their numbers changed or their accounts blocked wouldn't be easy to forgive.

[HusamRocks]

Yeah but look at it from another perspective, that family doesn't allow or accept such actions which is considered a good environment to raise children and teach them manners, that family also needs to apologize to the woman on their actions too

[Marblesxoxo]

They did apologized but the woman hasn't forgiven them. She was too hurt to accept it.

[HusamRocks]

They have to work more on their apologies 👍🏻

[Marblesxoxo]

Probably some things need more than apologies. I think for that deep hurt, they would have to followed their apologies with actions too.

[Stevepro68]

Sorry as a medical professional I call bullshit on this story. Genetically skin color by melanin level is not a trait that skips generations and can hide out. Skin melanin is controlled by may different parts of the genome and this is unlikely to happen 1 generation removed. Never mind several.

[Danielle93]

Actually it is possible for whites to have a darker-skinned child. It's rare but yes it can happen. The woman's husband isn't white. He would be biracial that happens to pass as white. Perhaps he might have afro features and didn't bother checking himself in the mirror.
Who knows, perhaps many of us are mixed and not even notice.

[Danielle93]

Genes are actually more complex when it comes to skin color. There are too many factors into it and a Punnett square wouldn't work.

[Stevepro68]

@Danielle93 not denying the possibility just this is unlikely to happen with all these caveats. No not saying it a punnett square just the opposite. A wide spectrum of skin tones. Which means very Caucasian looking father would be unlikely to have a large number of alleles that would combine with another very Caucasian mother that has a large number of unexpressed melanin alleles. Resulting in newborn infant with visible demonstrably non causacsian features. Add in over reaction by father, no counseling from medical as to how this can be. A hidden single family 1 generation removed. With a major red flag l... white shame trope from a mother. Come on give me names location ages and maybe I buy this but as told no way.

[Danielle93]

I would find that unforgivable. Instead of overreacting, destroying the baby's things and dragging his family to harass her and the child, he could've simply asked for a paternity test in the beginning. Things would've gotten cleared quickly. The baby was an innocent victim, a pure soul that didn't deserve any of that.

[Billlewis]

I dream constantly about being financially and legally obligated to provide the necessary resources for a child like this, while also serving the mother in other ways, as well.

[MasterKS]

Game of semen!

[Marblesxoxo]

I can't imagine the shock in that lady's face (the paternal grandma). She likely thought that since her son passed as white, her sin (the affair from long ago) wouldn't ever come back to haunt her. She got away with it but the gene caught up on the next generation and produced that commotion.