Did I do unrepairable damage?

[Anonymous]

So me and my girlfriend have been together since January. We had no issues at all until around April. I felt something was off so I went through her phone because she was acting strange. Come to find out she was flirting with another guy. I forgave her for it and she said she wasn’t mad about me young through her phone. Fast forward to this month. I was helping around the house and made her mad because I didn’t get all the trash out and accidentally woke her up a few times. I set clothes out without putting them in the clean basket (yet) missed a few clothes while washing, and left a present out that was for a friend and her dog ate it. She was mad the whole day so I went through her phone again to see what you exactly I was doing wrong because I was trying to help. We’re moving in together but she was saying to a friend that she doesn’t know about it because I was getting on her nerves. Well she knew I went through and is furious. Invaded her privacy and everything. So now I’m wondering what I do to fix it because it feels like it’s not repairable

[Cynicaldreamer]

First off, the fact you keep going through her phone shows you have trust issues with her. Which says a lot about your relationship: it's lacking communication and trust between you two. And no, I'm not putting all the blame on you either; it's just as much her fault too for sneaking around and not telling you what's bothering her!

Rather than ask her what's wrong or try to figure out the issue, your immediate response is to go through her phone: NO. That's not how you fix a relationship! Honestly, why do you want to stay with someone you don't trust?

[Asker]

That’s the thing though like the two times I’ve done it I’ve asked beforehand what was wrong? Are we ok? Etc... she always says she’s fine but I know her and her body language is definitely not fine

[Cynicaldreamer]

Hmm, so at least you are trying (which is great!) Meaning she's being the one pushing you away. It doesn't seem like she's that happy with the relationship, especially if she's flirting with other guys and not telling you what's bothering you.

I highly suggest you hold off on moving in with her, especially if both of you are having these doubts and trust issues.

[coachTanthony]

First off you shouldn't be going through her phone... you don't need to do that to feel something is off between you two. Doesn't sound like communication is either of your guys strong suits especially hers since she is telling others how she feels instead of you.

Look she was flirting with another guy... she isn't keen on moving in... I would take this as a sign as she isn't ready for any of this. Maybe take a step back here and re-evaluate your relationship.

Too many RED FLAGS for the both of ya.

[OlderAndWiser]

You have problems with both respect and trust. Why do you want to live together?

[Asker]

She’s young and this is my first relationship. I try to think of it as figuring it out. The worst part is I do trust her but she doesn’t communicate when something is wrong

[OlderAndWiser]

You trust her even though you just started dating in January and she already was flirting with someone else?

[OlderAndWiser]

You REALLY trust her or you just don't want to end it and be alone again?

[Asker]

That’s a good point, this is the happiest I’ve been and I really don’t want to see it end

[Curmudgeon]

Trouble ahead. She's trouble already. Bail out now.