How do I tell her?

[Anonymous]

So me and this chick at the beginning had a fling for a bit. We started getting close to each other and feelings happened. Long story short; we still talk but she’s having a baby by a guy she hates and lives with but not in a relationship with. We both have feelings for each other but she’s having feels trapped with this guy. My problem is that I’m deeply in love with her; like I can’t stop thinking her. It drives me crazy when she tells me how he yells at, walks home sometimes drunk as hell, yells at her for small stuff and it pisses me off when I hear it. She’ll tell me she has feelings for me but she can’t pursue them cause of her situation. I don't know what to do. I came today to telling I her in love with her but I didn’t. I just need advice on what I should do. It’s driving me crazy

Updates

1 y

And another thing too. Throughout this whole pregnancy, I’ve cared more about the baby and her than he ever has. And he hasn’t done anything to help her out any of the baby stuff

[Finchie40]

You can’t help who you fall for , but understand this situation can either go 2 ways , so be prepared for whatever happens if you are willing to stand by her side like you have been doing , but understand it might not go your way, if she decides to stay with this guy and not choose you. The fact that she is having a baby with this other guy is going to make it harder for her to decide who she wants to be with , why being in a love triangle isn’t always smooth sailing. So understand it might not go your way and ask yourself are you really willing to stand by her side no matter what happens? Love is a crazy thing man and just because you love someone , it doesn’t mean you have to be with that someone , you can always love someone without being with them. I know you want her in your arms , but be prepared if she doesn’t choose you. I have been in situations like this before with girls’ that were already in a relationship with someone else. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose , it’s just the way it goes. Understand she is stuck in the middle as well , by her being pregnant with his baby , if she wasn’t pregnant I am sure she would choose you over him , but now this baby is in the picture making it harder for her to decide what to do. Most females’ will do what she feels is best for her baby , she might choose the father so the baby has it’s biological father in his or her life. Whether she is happy with this guy or not , she might choose him over you , for that reason. So if she is who you really want to be with, then continue doing what you been doing to show her you really love her and want to be with her. Does the father know you are in the picture? If he does he might threaten to kick your ass and threaten you to stay away from her , so be prepared for that shit as well. Unless you know you can kick his ass then don’t sweat it lol just be careful man, because people can do stupid shit when someone tries to interfere in their relationship. So really ask yourself if she is worth all that drama that could unfold.

[Asker]

It sucks because we talk almost every day and tells me how he literally acts like a child, hasn’t paid for absolutely including bills, rent and stuff for baby, gets mad at her for spending her own money, argues and stresses her out, using her car. he recently beat cancer in his testicles too. But she is worth it, I can’t picture my life without her

[Finchie40]

Yea he sounds like a real winner , and why she is still with him is beyond me , but that’s the thing with a lot of females’ they tend to love the bad guys’ for whatever reason, it sounds like she is still with him because females’ are more emotional then most men are , she probably feels she can fix him , which a lot of females’ tend to do because most of them are natural care takers , why so many girls’ go for the bad boy type. You and I clearly know the guy is a loser from what you been telling me , but unfortunately she doesn’t see him that way , she might bitch and complain about him to you , and talk shit on him to you , but deep down inside she still loves him and probably wants to fix him. If she was wise , she would already be with you, so hopefully she eventually wakes up and realizes you are the better guy for her but like I said , do not bank on that , cuz it can still go both ways. My advice to you man , is tell her how you truly feel about her if you haven’t already , if you already told her how you feel and she still is choosing the father of her baby , then you are best to not give her much more of your time , start distancing yourself from her and focus on moving on from her , you don’t have to be rude , just make it clear to her you are busy and other things are more important then talking to her. Once she realizes you are not investing the time into her like you were , she will either come chasing you or disappear completely. But at least you will have your answer on whether she wants you or not. Cuz my man , by you being there for her constantly, is just putting yourself in the friend zone and that’s going to hurt you more knowing she isn’t choosing you romantically she is just choosing you as a friend. So if you want romance with her , you are best to not invest too much of your time into her and see if she chases you instead

[Makeushiver]

I think therapy would be a well advised choice. I would probably start with myself. It's the last place I want to look for problems but in the long run, I can only do something about them if they are mine. If that was a positive experience than maybe to relationship therapy. Sorry if that sounds like the last thing that you want I understand. But, again you can only fix your own shit. Trying to fix someone else is a study in frustration and failure. I could venture a probable therapeutic type observation based on your question. I don't mean to have any insight into you or your situation but if I were to read your post like a detective I would notice the point of view used in your description changes and how much judgment just in the words chosen carry. "Me and this chick had a fling for a bit. She is never introduced and is, this chick" even while you were in a relationship.

Not important but decided to point it out if you're interested. You also describe her as having a kid while the father sounds completely inadequate. She may, as you say, have hated him but it does seem that the hate must have been tempered a little since she is carrying his baby. There could be many unpleasant reasons for that being the case and if it is- or if I've caused you any offence- I really try to apologize

[Selene1600000]

You love her, but she is emotionally tied to a messy and painful situation that you cannot fix for her. Telling her you are in love right now will probably pull you deeper into stress while she is still living with another man and having his baby. The healthiest thing you can do is step back a little, protect your peace, and only stay involved if she actually changes her situation on her own.

[danielle872024]

Bad situation bad guy and baby coming , I would get away from that fast.

[AI Opinion]

Hey you magnificent lover! Navigating those heartstrings isn't easy, especially when they’re all tied up in complicated knots, huh? First and foremost, it's important to be honest and express your feelings. Let her know that you’re smitten, but do it in a supportive and non-demanding way to avoid adding pressure since she’s already in a tricky situation. ✨

Acknowledge her current predicament; her safety and well-being should always be prioritized. Be her emotional support, but remember to take care of your own heart too. Falling hard doesn’t mean you should ignore those boundaries that keep you both emotionally safe. 🥰

[BadApple69]

Why does she have to stay with this guy?
If you love her move in together. If it is how she says it is then act on the feelings you both share.
I worry that she might not be 100% truthful to you. She isn’t a prisoner, she can leave anytime she wants. This “situation” isn’t a reason to stay… in fact it’s a good reason to better her environment before the baby is here.
Now for you… are you good with raising another man’s baby? Being a father to that baby? If so, that’s great! If not then you need to let her go.

[Asker]

He moved in. Around the time of when she first got pregnant, she was taking care of him while he was going to kemo. But he’s better now and working 2 jobs but hasn’t paid anything but gets mad at her for trying to buy baby stuff with her own money. Me and her both wish the baby was mine.

[BadApple69]

Can she move in with you? You two should do whatever you can to get her out of that situation.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

My brother from another mother it’s time to wake up & smell the coffee & after you wake up & smell the coffee it’s time for you to move on & move forward without her.
As for you you’re being played & if truth be told she’s playing you like a fiddle. The girl you like lives with another man. The girl you like is pregnant by another man. The girl you like is in a situation with another man. The girl you like has a brain & if she hasn’t left him by now she probably never will. It’s time to move on bro because you are chasing a dream & if you keep going the way you are going it will be a nightmare.

[Miristheiss]

This girl is pregnant from some other guy? What the hell is wrong with you? There are 4 BILLION women on the earth.

Go find someone else. "in love with her"? What the hell dude.

Grow some common sense and standards. Who raised you to be some white knight to rescue the "damaged" girl?

SHE AIN'T THE ONE.

[Anonymous]

Why do u love her

[Asker]

We have crazy chemistry together. She makes me happy. I’m always at peace everytime I’m with her; her smiles always makes me smile. She has a beautiful soul. She always puts everyone’s problems first before hers; always making everyone at work smile and laugh, customers love her. I can’t stop thinking about her. I get nervous at times when I’m around her and nervous talking to her which is rare for me.

[Opinion Owner]

How u both look

[Asker]

I’m black, 5’11” somewhat athletic body and she is 5’4” and a little thick

[Opinion Owner]

Why do u wanna be with her

[Asker]

I can’t picture my life without her

[Opinion Owner]

Why?

[In_Trance]

This is a colossal shit show